- 8 years ago
‘Tis my first post here, so hello there, little bees. Never thought I would make a post like this, but I really wanted to get the opinions of other women who are married, engaged, or patiently waiting for a ring or moment to kick-start the rest of their life.
A little background info, and I truly apologize for the length:
I was always the “relationship girl” throughout high school and most of college. When I was a teenager, I always thought I would be married upon college graduation, and thinking about children or already nesting by my mid twenties. However, after a relatively tough break-up during my senior year of college, my priorities shifted a bit. After graduation, I was in full career mode. I dove into the life of being a special education teacher, and adapted to fully living on my own. I fostered new friendships with amazing fellow teachers, and really focused on keeping in touch with my wonderful girl friends from college. I wasn’t really looking for a relationship – being a wife and starting a family suddenly wasn’t my number one priority anymore. I was doing things for myself – I was making memories as a individual and really didn’t feel that same push to settle down.
Almost three years into my life of “me”, I met my boyfriend. I’ve loved before, don’t get me wrong. I’ve even toyed with the idea of having a future with past loves – but that feeling took time to develop and it was always “if we get married”, and not a “when we get married”. On my third date with my boyfriend, I looked at him and something truly foreign clicked in my brain. I called my best friend the next afternoon and sheepishly confessed, “I know I sound like a nutcase, and I know I’m not the type to say this kind of thing, but I’m going to marry that man”.
He has felt the same since that same date. We moved in together within months, and have had an amazing adventure together so far. We mesh beautifully with each others’ families, and while we are total opposites on paper, we share a love that is deep and promising. We have talked often and in depth about getting married, and having a family. We want to get engaged and we want to start a life together – and we want that life to begin now. However, because we have yet to be together for a full year, we worry what our family and peers will have to say. We want our commitment to one another to be taken seriously, and we don’t want to be lumped into a “bound to fail” category. I’ve heard some people say that if you know you are going to marry someone, what’s another year of waiting? I understand that point of view, but sometimes, the idea of not being his wife for another 24, 36, 48 months – – it slightly pains me. The comfort and wishes of our family and friends are incredibly important to both of us, but there are times we just wish to follow our hearts and take the plunge.
Anyways, are any of you waiting to become engaged simply because the norm says it’s just “too soon?” Or have any of you become engaged or wed in a short period of time, and have experience with the opinions thrust your way? Any words of advice would be appreciated!