Post # 1
A coworker’s son just got engaged and so we’ve been discussing weddings more than usual. Today’s topic of conversation is destination weddings, and if they cost more for the couple than non-destination weddings. Coworker A, whose son is engaged, thinks that DWs are cheaper because they’re all inclusive and because the couple aren’t obligated to cover guests’ travel costs. Coworker B thinks they’re more expensive, because the bride and groom still have to pay for a lot of the same things they have to pay for here (drinks, catering, venue) but at a premium.
What do you think, hive? Are DWs more expensive?
Post # 3
They’re usually cheaper for the bride and groom, but more costly for the guests. That however is dependent on how much the BnG contribute to their guests fees. For example, we’re paying for the hotel for all six of us, and our flights. They only have to pay for their flights. If we were paying for a hotel for all the guests we would have invited to a traditional wedding,we’d never be able to swing it.
Post # 4
I think they can go either way. My DW wasn’t more/less expenisve because we used the same budget. DW defintely put a lot of strain on everyone. Planning from afar, guests paying for travel. So I think they are definitely more stressful than local weddings.
Post # 5
@MrsRevolutionize: Totally depends on the wedding.
I’ve seen packages at all inc hotels that are extremely cheap: the wedding breakfast and drinks are basically free as the guests are staying at the hotel, and then packages for photography, flowers, and cake start at like $1000; so you can do them very very reasonably if you choose.
On the other hand, I know someone who spent $30k on their destination wedding, as they paid for a villa and flights for 14 people to spend 2 weeks in Thailand, and then laid on the food and drinks for the 2 weeks, plus had the flowers, dress etc.
Similarly, I know people who’ve done weddings in the UK for anything from $3-50k.
So in short: I don’t think you can really say what’s cheaper, as it depends on what the individual day.
Post # 6
it totally depends on how you do it. we probably could have done our destination wedding for a fraction of the cost. but we wanted a private reception, we wanted to extend the bar, we wanted all the extras. and i think resorts charge a lot more for the extras than an at-home venue would… for example… $5 PER CANDLE. $350 to use their lanterns. etc… there are basic packages but they generally come with very little and minimal guests. if you have anything over the 12 or 20 guests it can still be $50-$75 per person. and that only gets you a meal at the regular buffett and a corner of the very public restaurant. we also had less guests than we would have had at home so that played into it… if we got married at home we would’ve had over 200 people, i’m sure. this way is cheaper for us but it’s definitely not cheap.
Post # 7
I say they appear to be cheaper. If the couple would do the same wedding home, they’d probably pay twice as much. But that has a lot to do with the fact that while it’s true food, alcohol and venue are cheaper (and the view is spectacular), say in Cuba, the bride and groom don’t have to pay for their guest’s accomodation and quite often, they don’t pay for their flights either (in Québec at least, reading wedding forums, each guest is responsible to get there and pay for their all-inclusive week).
I honestly never understood how it’s not considered an etiquette faux-pas to invite your guests to travel but let them pay, knowing how some people are so about etiquette on most wedding forums and everything related to cash is such a huge issue. 😛 Same happens on Québec wedding boards. They would never ask their guests to contribute to their wedding (1 out of 3 weddings do that), but they’d invite them to spend 2K+ to attend in Jamaica. *scratches head*
Post # 8
Ours is definitely more expensive for FI and I because everyone is from out of town (we live in Boston now but are moving to California in the summer, so even we will have to travel!) and we’re paying for our large wedding party’s hotel rooms in addition to everything else for them, hotel rooms for immediate family/travel expenses, flying in hair/makeup team and hotel, etc, and now our own flights since we won’t already be in town. The cost of the wedding itself (not including “travel related” extras like flights/hotels/etc) is the same as it would have been if everyone was local (although still much more expensive than most if not all weddings I’ve seen so far on the bee).
I know Boston isn’t a “traditional” destination wedding location but if we were getting married elsewhere (somewhere in the Caribbean for example) we’d be spending the same amount of $ and still paying for the travel costs of those listed.
Post # 9
@NauticalDisaster: All of my guests are from out of town (well, all but the best man and one groomsman), so no matter where FI and I chose to get married people would have to travel. Additionally they aren’t all traveling from two places (for example my “home town” or FI’s, they’re all over the US and world). We are compensating for that a bit by subsidizing their hotel rooms to a pretty reasonable rate for anywhere in the country per night let alone downtown Boston and paying for wedding party/immediate family/vendor travel. If it was rude to invite guests to celebrate with us who had to pay to travel/for hotels we wouldn’t be able to invite anyone.
Post # 10
@MrsTywinLannister: In Québec, ”destination weddings” are in the South. Going to another city in the same province is not considered a DW. Here when we talk about DW, it means the couple wants to go to Cuba, Jamaica, Mexico, etc., to have a ”weddingmoon” with their families. Packages are unexpensive when it comes to ceremony and reception, but it involves guests have to pay for an all-inclusive week at a 4 or 5-stars hotel. It’s not that expensive, but it’s at least 1K for the week, without flights, for 1 guest. And usually, the bride and groom will not pay the guest’s accomodation.
This is a very different situation than having families in different cities and states. We have the same problem, wherever we choose to have our wedding, people will travel and stay overnight. Québec is quite small, there’s not flight needed to travel within the province (again, this is probably different in the States if your family is in different states). But all this to say, ”necessary” travels are very different than saying ”hey, we want to get married on the beach in Jamaica, if you want to attend, you have to pay 2K for the week” as DW means in Québec. Hope this clarifies my point of view. 🙂
Post # 11
Depends on the wedding.
Ours was very cheap because we only had 14 guests and we chose the most simple package so the food, drinks, cake, flowers, ceremony… everything was free.
Then to have it officiated by the JOP and make it legal, it cost about 600$ (including the fees of the embassy to have our documents approved here in Canada)
We also chose to pay for a few options, like a carriage ride from our hotel room to the ceremony site (didn’t want to walk that long in my dress!), and for my hair/makeup to be done.
Here was the budget breakdown:
Travel to 5* hotel (two weeks all inclusive in a royal suite, includes honeymoon): 5000
Legal documents: 600$
Extras (hair/carriage): 300$
Dress: 1200 (offered by my parents)
Groom’s attire: 300
Rings (engagement ring, wedding ring for me and for him): 1000$
We kept it very simple though: we didn’t have bridal parties, no wedding related events prior to the wedding, our wedding was ceremony/cocktails/dinner (no dancing reception, we just went to the bar with a few of our guests who were up to it after)
Some people have a more upscale event and it CAN come up to something as expensive as a regular wedding. Ours was really cheap if you take into account that we would have traveled anyway for that price and that my parents paid for my dress.. We basically spent only 2200$ for the wedding related expenses.
It was our dream wedding, very simple with just a few of our closest friends and family members, in a dreamy setting. When we got at the resort, we met with the wedding coordinator and chose the food, music, all that jazz, in 1 hour. I wouldn’t change one thing.
Post # 12
I think it depends. All inclusives are generally cheaper. We are having our wedding on an island without any all inclusive hotels so we are paying the premium prices on everything, which is actually costing us more. For about 12 people we have already “spent” about 20k.
Post # 13
@NauticalDisaster: That was actually what we were discussing–if it’s a faux pas not to offer to pay for a portion of guests’ travel expenses, to the same budget you’d spend if you were having the wedding at home.
Post # 14
Destination weddings are more expensive if you pay for your guests’ flights (and possibly their stay at a hotel).
Post # 15
@NauticalDisaster: Price-wise its about the same, guests will absolutely be spending between 1-2K for travel/the weekend, even though many are in the US (and many will fly thousands of miles).
Post # 16
@MrsRevolutionize: I understand that. But I personally have mostly heard (where I live) of couples having a DW because they didn’t have to pay for their guests, while still having a weddingmoon. They do not think : 15k for 15k, they think : I’ll save 8K by spending 2 weeks in Cuba and having my wedding there and hoping a few of my family members will afford to attend. They will not spend the extra 8K for their guests’ accomodation.
It’s great if it’s not how things work on the Hive, and if brides pay flights or subsidize rooms. It’s usually not how people proceed in my area.