Post # 1
I have been thinking over wedding looks for a while now and i am generally in love with J. Crew’s selection of dresses. Specifically the chiffon styles, like this (i LOVE this color and am 99.9% sure i want this to be my wedding color):
i also love that they have about 10 different styles in this color/fabric to choose from of all different silhouettes.
BUT they are about $250 each. 2 of the ladies I am asking to be my BMs are married and I was in their weddings, and they both went with Davids Bridal. Definitley a more affordable choice (i think my dresses were both like $150?)… but i also feel like DB dresses, unlike J Crew, really are not wearble again.
DB also doesnt have this color or anything remotely like it. all their lighter blues are too aqua-ish.
Is it too much to ask someone to buy a $250 dress to be in my wedding? How would you feel about that price point as a BM?
A few things:
– all my BMs are at least 28 years old and working full-time in careers – a few are teachers, two retail managers, one an executive assistant – not millionaires but we all get by
– i have seen brides on the bee who pay for their BMs dresses and while i think that is awesome, there is no way that is in the budget for me with 7 BMs, even if the dresses were $100.
Post # 3
I think you need to talk to your bridesmaids about their financial situation. I had told mine that I wanted grey, short, chiffon dresses and didn’t really care if they matched. Last night one of my bridesmiads started talking about how much she loved the J.Crew ones she had researched and my Maid/Matron of Honor said “wow those are expensive”. My Bridesmaid or Best Man (who just bought a house and isn’t exactly “rolling in it”) said she was happy to spend it cause she loved it. I think having those honest conversations with them can really help.
Post # 4
@NVACat: my bridesmaids are wearing mismatched gray chiffon dresses too! hahaand they picked out some of them from jcrew–their dresses are gorgeous!
Post # 5
My MOH’s dress is from there. She is the only one in my bridal party.
I talked to her about it first, and told her that while it is more expensive than she is used to, it is something that she can wear a again a million times. The lady in the store showed her how to pair sweaters and belts, etc. with it to make new outfits.
I originally offered to pay, but once she saw what she can do with the dress, she said she would pay for it herself since she felt as though she would be wearing it for years to come.
So if you look at it that way, then no, I dont think it is too much to ask. I would talk to your girls first, and let them know there are other options, but you really are in love with this dress.
Post # 6
I would never wear that dress again (I look terrible in pastels) so to me it would be too expensive.
If it was black and I really could wear it again – then it wouldn’t be as painful.
Post # 7
I’m inclined to say yes, just because I personally wouldn’t ask my bridesmaids to spend that much. J. Crew dresses are definitely more rewearable, but may not be for an individual in the color you choose (for example, that blue color is lovely, but I would personally not wear it again because I don’t like blue)
I actually really preferred the J. Crew dresses as well, but just bit the bullet and went with DB. Have you tried anything in between like Alfred Angelo?
If you asked me to spend the $$$ on this dress, I would certainly suck it up and do it but I wouldn’t be thrilled.
Post # 8
@bostongirl27: i think its probably fine–maybe send out an email like these are the dresses i love, but if they are out of price range please let me know & we can find a solution. so at least you arent just expecting them to just do what you say with no input. or there are also plenty of stores that sell chiffon dresses–you could get a color swatch from jcrew & suggest the dress you posted about, but say they are welcome to get any chiffon dress they like as long as it matches the color. (i bet, haha, that a lot of them will end up getting the suggested dres just because itll be a hassle to shop around for something else!)
Post # 9
I have a weird answer. I’d be ok spending $250 on a dress but I would never pay full price for a JCrew bridesmaid dress. Those will go on sale multiple times before your wedding.
My girls wore JCrew dresses that were originally $285 and we got them for $115.
Post # 10
I felt strange asking my bridesmaids to spend $90 on their convertible dresses, and yes I’d be a little put off to be asked to drop $250 on this dress as well. It’s not my style or color at all and I doubt I’d ever wear it again, so $250 is a bit steep.
I think any more than $175ish is getting up there.
Post # 11
In my opinion, anything over $200 is way to expensive. I felt bad for my bridesmaid dresses which was $150 (had a deadline and had to buy dresses fast, I offered to pay for them). It’s pretty, but I would never wear it again, so that $250 would be hard for me to swollow. You also still have to consider the shoes, which would probably be no less then $50 based on whats out there.
Post # 12
My attendants are wearing JCrew dresses, are all older (except for a college-aged cousin, but her parents purchased the dress for her) and in good jobs so to the best of my knowledge they were pretty excited about it and happy about the price (dress was regularly priced at $185, when we purchased they happened to be on sale for $145, but we didn’t know that would be the case when we picked them). They’re happy it’s high-quality and re-wearable*. It’s actually a lot less expensive than some of the Nordstrom dresses one of the girls kept emailing me…
We were lucky with the sale, and as @LGenz points out they do happen, but I would be VERY careful about waiting for this — you could risk losing sizes/colors, especially with so many girls.
*You mentioned the multiple sillouttes and colors – does that mean you’re letting them choose from a palette and not all match exactly? If so, then it’s absolutely re-wearable (as @GroovyHippieChick: said, the pictured color might be tough for everyone to pull off).
ETA: Expensive/too expensive are relative concepts. For a lot of people, $90 is a lot while others drop $300 on a dress without batting an eyelash. You know what your girls are like better than we do, from your description I really can’t tell if it’s reasonable. You can always ask them outright, too (though I think i was laughed at when I directly asked them if $185 was too much).
Post # 13
I think it depends on your BMs’ income – and since yours work in varied fields, you’ll have to be careful. I ADORE J. Crew’s Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses – the one you posted would be my ideal Bridesmaid or Best Man dress, actually! – but $250 is pretty expensive for a dress for someone else’s wedding.
If I were in your shoes, I would ask a couple of BMs what their budget is for your wedding, and see if they can swing $250 or not. That’s probably the best way to make sure you don’t put any of them in a tight money situation. $250 is a LOT for a teacher to pay, but if they are married and living on two incomes, then it might not be a problem for them at all.
If only one or two of your girls can’t afford it, then you might offer to subsidize part of the cost – maybe you could pay just $50 or $100 for them, without telling the other girls. You could also look for ladies who are reselling their J. Crew dresses, on here or eBay – you might just find some in the right color/style at a much better price.
You should also look around for similar chiffon short dresses, so you have some more afforable options if $250 is simply impossible. I think Bill Levkoff has some cute ones – not as big a selection of styles, but they are cheaper by far. I like the ones from the Dessy group as well, and they have a huge color and fabric selection.
Hope This Helps. You have awesome taste, and I’m sure whatever you end up choosing will look great!
Post # 14
I’d be annoyed to spend that much on a dress I’ll only wear once, but I’d do it. That dress isn’t my style, so I likely wouldn’t wear it again.
Post # 15
I just spent $250 on this lazaro number which I can obviously never wear again…size 8 so i’m probably going to sell it afterwards!
Post # 16
I think if you go with these dresses that you should offer to kick in $100 for each dress regardless of the girls’ financial status. Or buy their shoes. Something else to help off-set the costs.