(Closed) Are kids normally included in baby showers?

posted 5 years ago in Parties
  • poll: Are kids normally included in baby showers?
    Yes : (17 votes)
    52 %
    No : (16 votes)
    48 %
    Other... : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    9955 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Etiquette Snob here…

    Showers (be they Bridal or Baby) are traditionally and ALL Female event for grown women…

    So usually there are NO Men or Kiddies involved (altho I have on occasion been to a shower where there was a NEW Mom present with a baby she was breastfeeding)

    Bringing along your children would be presumptuous (the Invite would be clearly addressed to JUST YOU) and also inappropriate… just doesn’t go with the whole “girls out” vibe that Showers evoke.  Would defintely take away from the mood.

    Hope this helps,


    Post # 5
    5758 posts
    Bee Keeper

    In my family we always include kids, so you may want to address it somehow early on. I guess you could put Adult Shower on the invitation if you don’t want them to come.

    Post # 6
    9142 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

    The ones I have been to are typically adults only but I have been to family style showers which are really BBQs with baby gifts and there are usually children present.

    Post # 7
    9955 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

     TO @SamanthaLovesJames:  if you want it Adults Only… then the main cue is going to be in how you Address the Invite.  I’d go as formal as possible (ie Ms. Joan James vs Joan James) and if you are using pre-printed invites… kind that come from the store with the fill-in-the-blank lines, then Hostess usually write in some additonal details in the empty space. 

    Having a means to contacting you is very important… a phone number is usually the norm, incase anyone has Questions (a lot less back & forth than email accomplishes)

    Altho not traditional etiquette (Gifts shall not be mentioned… instead the Guest would phone the Hostess for info)… modern invites often break with that rule to not mention gifts by saying such things as:

    “The Mom-2B is registered at ___” … OR…  “the Baby Nursery is Green & White” etc.

    When it comes to Gifts… mentioning LESS is better form than more (and for goodness sake don’t get into the realm of collecting a set amount of money from everyone for a group gift… that makes the Shower seem too much like a Fundraiser, and very tacky).  If folks want to pool their resources they can do so on their own (or again, call you up for advice on who else might be wanting to do that)

    Once upon a time, it was understood by people that if the Invite was to you… it was ONLY for you… it may be tempting to write on the bottom edge somewhere… “Adults Only”

    (Makes me cringe… as it isn’t the best etiquette… but if you truly want no little ones there, then that makes it clear)

    Another way might be to just hand write your Invites (vs pre printed ones)… and somehow make the wording on the Invite for a “Girl’s Time Out to Celebrate with a Friend”

    The idea of it being a Girls Only Event… is certainly in tune with a more traditional shower… and an event where the focus is more on the Guest of Honour… and socializing over nice eats etc.  More refined than casual.

    — — —

    Of course as noted by beachbride1216:  a lot of showers are a lot more laid back and family type events.  I’ve been to some where the whole family came to the home… the women gathered indoors for the shower, and the guys & kids were outdoors.

    Hope this helps,


    Post # 8
    11172 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    My best friend allowed “older” kids that were capable of entertaining themselves (in the playroom). Smaller children were not invited.

    Post # 9
    1627 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    Almost all of the showers I’ve been to included women and a few little girls.  Maybe a baby boy if he was breastfeeding or a newborn.  But no toddler boys. 

    Post # 10
    1627 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    @SamanthaLovesJames:  On my wedding invitations I included: 

    We are requesting an adult reception.  Thank you for your support and understanding.

    I know some people hate that, but I wanted to be straightforward (we invited over 400 people – no room for extras!), but sugar caot it and thank people for understanding.  If you don’t want kids there and don’t want to deal with questions/confusion on if they can come, I’d for sure include a line like that.

    Post # 11
    110 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Every baby shower I have evr been to had children running around everywhere. I just had my bridal shower on Sunday and I we had a little girls tabthe one little boy was also there! But our culture is very family and children oriented and it never even crosses our minds not to bring them to these kind of events. For our wedding, I specifically looked for a venue that was child safe. I didn’t want there to be 5 different exits and entrances. The only time we don’t bring them is for bachelor/ette parties. 

    Post # 12
    3625 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    The past few showers I’ve attended have included kids (and men, for the most part). I think you certainly can get away with a kid-free shower, but I would encourage having it females-only then so they don’t have to find a sitter.

    I think I would just be clear and frank and say, “No kids, please. Thank you for your understanding.”

    Post # 13
    4524 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @SamanthaLovesJames:  I do not know if the rule applies for wedding/bridal showers, but we went to one recently where a)alcohol was served and b)someone brought their 11 year old kid.  It kind of killed the “adult” mood, as we all had to be watching ourselves more than we typically would have at such a casual event.

    Post # 14
    7199 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I would suggest writing ‘Adult Shower’ on your invites. My bridal shower this past weekend was very specifically only addressed to the adults and we had a few women bring their kids along (ages 5-12). We are also having problems with people RSVPing for the wedding with their children even though their children are clearly not invited so at this point I would not assume that someone would come without their kids just because the invite is only addressed to them.

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