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secretly i think they are more succesful. m and i were never in a LDR, but we did talk on the phone for nine months and i swear absence made the heart grow fonder i craved him all of the time. i loved to hear his voice, find out about his day etc. we were very best friends and i could read his mood by hearing his voice, i still can. i honestly think being away from him made me more in tune with him. i mean we never argued (of course we weren't in a relationship or anything like that) but still when we disagreed it was always a funny banter versus an immature disagreement. now more often than naught it is the same banter when we disagree, great joking and attempting to understand each other's point of view.
I definitely think that LDRs can be more successful. There is actual research that supports the findings that people in LDRs are more satisfied emotionally than those in SDRs. However, the research also indicated that when the people in LDRs were finally together, they were less satisfied. I think that it is probably because it will take some adjustment when you are no longer LDR PLUS you will have to keep up the communication instead of letting other things (like maybe physical things) replace it :) Just my thoughts.
I agree with Jacqi. LD just makes people want each other more. Once you're together, it is the same as a SDR. It all evens out in the end. LDR have more cravings because it is not easy to get to their SO.
I think LDRs help you not to take the other person for granted. I wasn't in one, but when R and I were in high school we went to schools in different towns and our parents had limits on how often we saw each other for our first year and a half or so of dating. We talked on the phone A LOT and really became close friends rather than just a typical high school thing. Granted, we were never the typical couple!
i don't know if they're more successful than an sdr. i honestly think it's a crapshoot. some people go in with the same amount of dedication but just can't handle the distance and all that entails. others make it through fabulously and end up happily ever after. i think it depends on the couple and their commitment to one another. ldrs are not for the faint at heart and i don't recommend them to everyone, but they can be very rewarding. ldrs make for some very unique relationships as it heightens the senses...you know how your other senses get stronger to compensate the loss of another? instead of physical intimacy, we all develop strong emotional intimacy with our SOs.
i will say that my boy was adament against ldrs. he was convinced they never work out. he says i changed his mind about that!
I honestly have no idea. My husband was in an LDR before me met me and he said he wouldn't do it again, but he did anyways and we worked out. He was a lot younger then so I don't know how much age and experience factor into the equation.
I was in a long distance relationship with my fiance for two years before he moved to my hometown. I also lived in several different countries for part of our relationship. I won't sugar-coat it...it was TOUGH, but at the same time, it made us who we are today. We became best friends before anything else. I learned more about him than I had ever known about anybody before and I never took our time together for granted. By the time we were finally together it was amazing. There were no big surprises and I truly have never been more comfortable and honest with anyone. I've been in one long distance relationship and I've had relationships where we've been in the same town. The biggest difference is the amount of work is always going to be hard for a long distance relationship, it is the amount of effort you are willing to put in that determines the outcome. I'm so happy we both loved and cared about each other enough to make it last.
I think it has more to do with the compatibility of the couple than it does with the distance between them. But I will admit, that I am irrationally nervous that I will find out about some strange dealbreaking habit my BF has after we're married. jk. But I digress--being in a LDR has made me appreciate his presence, even if it's on ichat. He's my best friend, and probably the only person that can sit through a conversation about the most insignificant details of my day.
I think it's really hard to say. I've been in 2 LDRs and 1 failed and 1 succeeded (or I am assuming - since we're engaged :) ). I'm not sure that LD has anything to do with it, it's more, when it's right it's right. LD is certainly hard, but when it's with the right person it seems easier!
For me it's a good test, but I don't think LDr determines or even influences the success of a relationship, long term.
It's a great thing to test if your relationship is something you're serious about and committed to (the other one fizzle out pretty quick in an LDR) but I wouldn't say that I had more or less of a chance of being successful because of my LDR. We did it because we had no choice, and now we're together and glad it's over!!
I have no idea! It could go ether way. You could say that if a couple could survive 4 years a part & all the emotions that go with that: they should be able to get through anything. Or you could argue that once a couple transitions into a SDR, the couple will become unsatisfied with their relationship.
I think a lot of people in LDRs have unrealistic expectations of their partners & thats why they are possibly less satisfied once they become a SDR. A lot of people build up their partner in the head... yes absence makes the heart grow fonder, but couples often forget about their partners "annoying" habits or differences in personality. Bring the two together & you could end up with some unhappy campers!
haha I always tell people that my FI and I have kept it real since we got back together in 2008. We're open books. We argue. We push each others buttons. We are comfortable with each other. We are a real couple through & through.
I don't think that whether it is LD or not will dictate whether a relationship will be successful!
One thing that you do do when you are in a LDR is couples put more emphasis on spending quality time with one another because you are apart a lot. When you live together especially I feel as if sometimes couples take advantage of one another because they are always there! I think a successful relationship has a good balance of both!
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Do you think Long Distance Relationships have a higher or lower return rate on success (as compared to SDRs)?
I mean, they're really hard, but most of the time people don't get into them lightly... right? Whereas you can go through a lot of SDRs without ever being very intentional or marriage minded, it's seems harder to find a LDR that isn't serious and well thought out.
Of course, sometimes distance turns out to be the irreconcilable difference.
What do you think? Overall, are LDRs at least as successful as SDRs? Or is the whole 'system' doomed?