Are MOH's supposed to drop everything to go BM dress shopping?

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
6525 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@coffeegal85:  no, the world does not revolve around her wedding.

 

SHe should have scheduled this at least a day before. Sending a text late at night is not enough, people are busy.

 

Post # 4
Member
5966 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

@coffeegal85:  I think it was kind of crappy of you to not be flexible enough to go a half hour earlier than you requested. I could see if it was like a huge time difference but it was a half hour. I think as the maid of honor, and as her sister, the dress shopping trip is something you should have made a little more effort to be at. I don’t beleive you should have to drop everything but I do believe that in this situation, it was doable. If it were my sister, I probably would have rescheduled some of my errands and made myself available a half hour earlier than planned. The short notice is annoying, ill give you that. But even with that I still think you should have tried a little more to be there. thats just my opinion though…

Post # 5
Member
185 posts
Blushing bee

@coffeegal85:  Sounds like maybe you two had a miscommunication.  I would have taken it exactly the same way you did, but I don’t know your sister — is she typically a diva type?  If not, I’d give her the benefit of the doubt and just assume she got confused.  Granted, it was a stupid assumption to make but things like this happen.  I’m sure you don’t look like a deadbeat — any reasonable person would realize that 12 hours notice is cutting it close.  I could see myself asking MOH last minute to go do something wedding-related, but I would never expect her to make it.  It would be more like… if you’re free, I’m thinking about going to do such and such tomorrow, but I know it’s last minute–if tomorrow doesn’t work, I’ll probably go anyway, or maybe we can try it next week.

 

 

 

Was she going shopping for her bridal gown or going to look at BM dresses?  If she was shopping for her own dress, I know lots of brides who’ve gone without their BMs.  Even for BM dresses, the first time I went to look I only took my mom.  I wanted to get an idea of what I liked before having the opinions of 6 bridesmaids thrown into the mix.

 

Post # 6
Member
525 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I myself am looking for my MOH dress first on my own to create a list of the different dresses I want her to try on – I don’t want to waste the entire day just finding dresses in the store and then try them on. 

Your sister seemed to make it clear that it wasn’t going to happen but then somehow assumed that you’d just drop in when you were done your errands as if you knew she was still going! She dropped the ball here, not you.

The one thing i find odd is that she is basing the scheduling of this around their schedule…

Post # 7
Member
1981 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@coffeegal85:  I don’t think you are a deadbeat MOH! It was SUPER last minute- what does she expect! And she didnt tell you she was still going! I would have a talk with your sister about it and plan to go dress shopping with her in advance. 

Post # 10
Member
307 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

That wouldn’t work for any random MOH but you are sisters and I’m sure you’ve done many spur of the moment things. Just happens that this particular one didn’t work out. No, I wouldn’t say you are a deadbeat…she needs to plan a little better. You were only off by 1/2 an hour though. Why DIDN’T you make your way to the dress shop after you were finished your errands? Hubby could have dropped you off taken the car for cleaning and your sis, mom or dad could have bought you home. I’m sure they shopped longer than an hour. Now you didn’t get to weigh in on the dresses. I ALSO chose BM dresses withOUT the BM – too many conflicting opinions to deal with but bear in mind, she did want YOURS!

 

Post # 12
Member
307 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

Oh they’ll be ok. It was last minute and it wasn’t your fault AT ALL. Your parents were probably irritated because THEY wanted to get it out of the way and now they probably have to go again. Miscommunication all around.

 

Post # 13
Member
5966 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

@coffeegal85:  I think your sister needs to work on better communication with everyone when planning an event like this, even if it’s on short notice. She should have confirmed with everyone what was going on for her dress shopping trip. Your parents are being ridiculous but I do think it all boils down to a miscommunication. Let them be mad, all that matters is that your sister knows that you did not intentionally not show up.

 

Post # 14
Member
294 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@coffeegal85:  

Hmmm I think that

1) It’s not weird for the bride to look for BM dresses on her own (I do)

2) I personally HATE late notice. I think that it’s annoying and disrespectful. I also have lower tolerance for people that don’t schedule with me at least one week before hand. I’m BUSY! If you said 1 PM- why couldn’t SHE push back her schedule half an hour? This confuses me. I think that you did nothing wrong, however, you should probably talk to her and explain that you will NEVER be able to make appointments that she makes at the last minute due to your own schedule. I’ve done this for years and years with my friends and family and it’s never been a problem. I think people just need to be respectful of your life just as much as they are respectful of theirs. 

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