Post # 1
first time writing on here. my wedding is 2 weeks away and i’m having uncontrollable anxiety about my soon to be groom. He is the most amazing man, a real adult, loves my family, is successful, and a dowt to earth nice guy. before i met him (when he was about 30) he had a couple years of partying with his friends, alot of drinking and some drugs. he assured me a long time ago, before we were engaged, that he was way over this behavior, and he has never made me feel any differently. he doesn’t really go out with his friends much anymore, didn’t have a bachelor party, and is really content with our life.
for some reason, i can’t get the thoughts out of my head that he is going to go back to those ways after the wedding. i constantly have thoughts of him lying to me, or taking drugs or drinking alot with his friends if i’m not around. i don’t know where these thoughts came from but i literally can’t get them out of my head. i’m nervous to talk to him about my anxiety, because he hasn’t done anything to warrant this behavior. i wonder if i’m just freaking out about the wedding and the marriage? i am 100% in love with him and want to marry him and start a family, but he seems so good to be true that i keep thinking something will change for the worse.
any thoughts are appreciated
Post # 3
Did you have guys lie to you in the past and treat you poorly? The wedding is super stressful but I don’t think that’s why you would start having these feelings about your fiance. My husband has a very ‘dark’ past with drugs and partying and we talk about it so that he can reasure me when I start to get nervous. You need to talk to your fiance about this, he is the only one who can make you feel better.
Post # 4
Sounds like .. chilly feet if bells are JUST NOW starting to go off. You’re rethinking things and you would be an idiot not to go over some things in your mind. He sounds like a great guy, and yes alot of us have partied in our past. This doesn’t mean it will happen in our futures, we were young, dumb and had undefined goals. He’s past that now, he has you and your life as a goal, to work hard for, to love and to cherish.
Walk it off.
Post # 5
- Wedding: June 2014 - Baby #2 due Sep 2017
As HisIrishPrincess said most of us have done this kind of thing in the past, and unless your FI has given you reason to doubt him, I don’t see why he’d go back to that lifestyle. I’m making a generalisation here but in my (and friends’) experiences when you’re ready for marriage your priorities change and you care about your health, your SO and finances.. going out on a bender just isn’t as appealing anymore. I hope this helps and congratulations on your upcoming wedding!!
Post # 6
I know how you feel! I went through similar fears with my DH when our relationship started to get really serious and then we got engaged. I was just sooo worried that he would “miss” the old days of partying and would not want his dull, tame wife anymore after a few years. But he (and it sounds like your SO) has never given me a reason to not trust him when he says that that stuff is in the past. So yes, I think it is just nerves. We all want to know what is going to happen in the future before we make a huge, life-altering decision, but you can’t….so you have to go off of his actions and trust him!