- 7 years ago
I have two younger sisters.
One of the two got married last year, and neither me or other sister were bridesmaids. We understood. They only had 25 guests at their wedding, and it felt weird to them to have most of their guests “standing up” with them. I sang a song, and other sister did a reading.
Now, I’m getting married. I will have a much larger wedding than previously married sister. I would love to have a 25 guest wedding, but FI has a very large, local extended family. This is also the only wedding his parents will ever get to have (his brother is very unlikely to get married). It’s just not in the cards for us to have a small wedding.
Both of my sisters have expressed how much they hated being bridesmaids in the past, so I assumed they wouldn’t want to be bridesmaids for my wedding. I already asked 3 girls and 2 guys to be my bridesmaids and bridesmen because of this assumption.
I told them I’d love to have them as BMs but there was no pressure if they weren’t interested. I’d have them participate with readings if they didn’t want to be bridesmaids.
Recently married sister will have a toddler when my wedding rolls around, and she had no qualms about saying no to being a BM when I asked. Other sister kind of hemmed and hawed about it. Other sister said “well, Recently Married Sister only had one bridesmaid, so it didn’t bother me that we weren’t bridesmaids.”
I was planning on having 5 attendants. If they want to be bridesmaids, I’ll have 7. FI will have 3 (for the time being…I’m sure he’ll come up with more later). I can’t “fire” the 5 I’ve already asked because they’re all my really close friends.
I’m afraid I made it come off as though I don’t want them as bridesmaids when I discussed it with them, which is not the case. If they wanted to be bridesmaids, I’d have them up there in a second.
Are they upset that they’re not BMs and just not telling me? I feel like they are. Mom said it hasn’t come up at all when she’s talked to them.