(Closed) Are nursing mothers really a package deal?

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2815 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

..It’s not so much a “trust” thing with me not wanting to leave my DD with anyone…a a month old, I look back and cannot imagine leaving her with somone, pumping, etc. For many, it doesn’t work that easily..

I hope you have success with it though.

Post # 4
Member
7904 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

They are a package deal if they want to be while the baby is still a newborn, but that doesn’t mean you have to bring your baby if you are comfortable leaving the baby at home. If the wedding is at a hotel, though, you may want to have the baby and sitter in a hotel room on site.

Post # 5
Member
4466 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I hope not!  Because I totally plan on doing what you’re talking about when I have a little one!

Post # 6
Member
285 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I guess I’ve always gone with the idea that if the baby is still nursing, especially under a year old, then the mom should get to decide if the baby comes or not. Granted, I’m inviting about 12 kids to our wedding of various ages, but still, to me a nursing mom of a newborn has the right to request that her child be allowed at the wedding if they so choose.

 

Post # 7
Member
46136 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Maybe it’s because you have never been a breastfeeding Mom and things don’t always go as smoothly as planned.

At one month of age many first time breastfeeding Moms, are just settling comfortably into some kind of routine with baby. Baby could be nursing from every hour to every 3 hours. They are not predictable. Not all breatsfed babies take to a bottle well. You may have difficulty with milk supply.

Good for you for having a positive outlook but don’t be surprised if things don’t go as expected.

Post # 8
Member
3773 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

Each parent feels differently at that point and for me it completely depends on the situation. If it were in my town and I knew I could easily get back to baby if something came up maybe I would consider leaving them at home, if there were a drive I would probably decline the invitation.

It also really depends on how breastfeeding goes. With DD #2 she hadn’t had a bottle at that point (we waited until 6-8weeks to avoid nipple confusion).

ETA: I do think age matters here a one month old is much different then a 3 or 4 month old in terms of nursing.

Post # 10
Member
11273 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

i don’t think they are.  some mother’s use that excuse as a crutch.  i think what you are doing is appropriate.  i’ve babysat my nieces when they were only a month old and the mom pumped.  just make sure that the baby is fine on the bottle before leaving him/her with the sitter.

Post # 12
Member
6998 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

@LuvMySailor:  I’m right there with you. One of my BM’s got engaged in July and is getting married in April. We have been waiting for them to get engaged forever and are really looking forward to their wedding. i’ll be a BM. I’m due in January so my baby will be roughly 4 months old. I plan to leave him with my mom for the evening and just pump. I trust her completely and while it may be hard to leave him for the night i’m sure my husband and I will be happy to have a night to ourselves.

Post # 13
Member
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

For one evening out?  Not a big deal.  If you were going on a trip somewhere, then no.

Post # 14
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I gotta agree with @julies1949:  I am a nursing mom and my baby is now 4 months old. In the first month is was very tough and she wasnt always eating on schedule etc. Breastfeeding comes with a lot of issues and it takes time to adjust to them

Post # 15
Member
2183 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011 - Florida Aquarium

My bridesmaid had a new born and was breastfeeding. Her mom actually flew in to care for the baby so that she and her husband could attend my wedding. It was so thoughtful of her! My bridesmaid pumped beforehand (and during haha), and her mom brought the baby to the reception (to the dressing room) so that he could have a nighttime feeding from her. It all worked incredibly well for us. Two things, though– I was a super flexible bride and was totally fine with her doing whatever she needed to do. They actually traveled across the country to be there, and I was so appreciative– but I completely understood if their plans changed. And 2, I had no problems with kids at my wedding– it was helpful to her to have her mom with the baby at the hotel.

So… it can work.

Post # 16
Member
1629 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Well I’ve never been a nursing mom so I really have no idea, but one of my BM’s had a baby three months before the wedding.  She nursed her for a year, so she was still breastfeeding at the time of my wedding.  I was totally fine with her bringing the baby to the wedding, but she decided to leave her at home with a sitter.  I think she just wanted to spend a night talking to grown ups for once because she had been with the baby non-stop for three months.  So I think it’s a wait and see situation.  It all depends on where you are in the journey of motherhood at the time, I think.  I like the suggestion of having the baby somewhere nearby.  Are there any places near the wedding site where you could stash a baby and sitter?  If not you’ll just have to wait until the last second to RSVP since you won’t really know until close to the time what the right answer is.

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