Post # 1
I’ve never been invited to one, heard anybody talk about one, or anything. I knew they were a part of the wedding planning process but thats about it. Now that I come on the bee, I see that people invite their WHOLE wedding to these things!! So I ask…
Are rehearsal dinners big in your circle? have you been invited to one, and what role were you in? and where are you from/ what size (and cost if thats not asking too much) is your wedding?
Sorry, I’m just trying to figure this whole thing out!
ETA: I know most people have them- I just mean inviting a LOT of people (ie more than bridal party)
Post # 3
I don’t think I will be having a formal dinner. We will probably have some bbq at my FMIL’s place after the rehearsal.
I am from Canada. 180 ppl at the wedding. Budget is around 12 – 15k.
I have never been to one either.
Post # 4
The bridal party, immediate family of the b/g and the fg’s parents are the only people i’ve ever seen invited to the rehearsal dinner. They’re not a huge deal in my circle. Usually they’re at a semi-nice (think step above Applebees, but just barely) restaurant or even at a church.
Post # 5
- Wedding: September 2011 - Mackinaw Valley Vineyard; Bloomington Center for the Performing Arts
I think it really depends on who is hosting the rehearsal. I have been to one fancy one (groom’s family was well off and wanted to show it), but most of the one’s I have attended are extremely low key, casual, and small. Ours will most likely be very informal, but a little larger than most because Mr. P’s whole family has to travel and we feel we should welcome and thank them for doing so.
Post # 6
No. Just like you I’ve never been to one either.
My wedding is about 140 ppl, a budget of about 15k. And I highly doubt I’ll be having one.
Post # 7
Rehearsals I’ve been to are usually held at a fairly nice restaurant and the Bridal party + immediate family are invited. I wouldn’t say they’re a “big deal” but they’re expected and I’ve never heard of someone having a super casual one.
Post # 8
Rehearsal dinners are pretty big in my circle, but we don’t invite the whole wedding. Usually only the bridal party, parents and grandparents, plus the SOs of these people IF they’re from out of town. I think they can be really great. It gives the bride and groom face time with their entire wedding party to express thanks for everything.
When both of my brothers got married, my parents went all out for the rehearsal dinners. For us, his parents aren’t giving us any money or hosting the event, so we’re on our own. That said, we’re just taking the group out to dinner at Maggianos where can have a private setting.
And I was a military brat, so I’m from all over the East and West coasts and the South. I think I’ve seen rehearsal dinners done this way everywhere. The only time I’ve seen them be super big productions is when the families had a lot of money.
Post # 9
Okay so its sounds like they really aren’t as big of a deal as some bees make them to be- which is expected, you are all wonderful planners!
To clarify, I am going to have a rehearsal dinner. I just only plan to invite my wedding party and our parents which comes out to 15 people. We’re having it at an Italian restaurant in my hometown with a really cute outdoor area. I’m excited for it! I’ve just been reading about people having these huge rehearsal dinners and with a 25/30k(ish) wedding that we’re paying for the bulk of ourselves, we just can’t justify/afford a big rehearsal. As it is, 15 people at a decent restaurant will be about $400.
Post # 10
Everyone I know that has had a wedding, also had a RD – nothing fancy though, but all did have one, including me.
EDIT: after your second post – the RDs I have been to/ my friends had that I didn’t attend, were typically about 30 people in attendance b/c in these cases OFT guests were invited. The same w/ mine we prob had about 30-40 people, but not fancy, we went to a local bbq joint for some live music and just relaxing time.
Post # 11
I’ve only been to a few, and I was in the wedding in some capacity. We’re having ours the night before the wedding at a pizza joint. We are inviting the entire wedding party, their SO, and our family that’s flying in. I think there will be about 40 people there! And, we’re planning on only having roughly 70 people RSVPing yes to the wedding!
Post # 12
I cant remember going to any rehearsal dinners. The reason why we invited all our guests was because my MIL wanted us too. I originally only wanted to invite bridal party and bridal party dates and parents. But my MIL threw a fit about it and actually threatened to not come to our wedding!
I would not be offended if I wasnt invited to someones rehearsal dinner unless I was in the bridal party or a sibling and not invited. Other than that, I dont care.
ETA: ours was not formal at all. It was more of a welcome party than a rehearsal dinner. We had it in a picnic pavilion next to the lake with BBQ, beer and wine and lawn games.
Post # 13
I voted for the third option- as in the UK they simply don’t exist! I actually can’t imagine holding a dinner the night before the wedding when there’s probably a million and one things to do!
Post # 14
They are not big where I am from as in formal dinners. The two I have been to, one was a sit down but nothing fancy. The 2nd one was potluck style as in the wedding party families made the food. Ours is just going to be a pizza party more than anything
Post # 15
🙂 Yea, ours is going to be no big deal. Basically the 15 or so people involved in the wedding will get together, eat pizza, then go through the ceremony followed by starting set up for the ceremony the next day. FI and his guys are ducking out early to go to his bachelor party baseball game and the ladies will be left to set up. That’s it! I really don’t get the huge crazy party thing on the day before the real huge crazy party.
Post # 16
I wouldn’t say that they’re “big” in my circle but just about everyone has one. I know people who have basically had mini weddings as their RD but most that I have attended have either been at the couples parents homes or local restaurants. I’ve only ever been invited to the RD when either myself or FI was in the wedding. I’ve heard of a number of bees including all OOT guests but I’ve never attended a RD that did this. It was always just the BP, their dates and immediate/close family members.
Our RD will be held at our favorite Mexican restaurant. We wanted something casual since the next day is going to be much more formal than any of us are used to. We’re in Upstate, NY and I anticipate the dinner to cost between $500-$1000 depending on whether or not my FIL’s add some kind of bar package. We will only be including our BP, their SO’s and our immediate families for a total of 25 people. Our whole wedding is roughly $12k and we’re inviting 85 guests.