Are Siblings-in-Law Family?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
128 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I think its rude. You all should be considered family because obviously one day you will be. I would have been offended

Post # 4
4513 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

When my FSIL got married I was included in a bunch of their professional wedding photos – not just candid pics, but posed as well. At the time my FI and I were only dating and no where near getting engaged. I kinda felt it was weird, but FI and I worked out so all is well lol.

If you’re engaged or married? I think you should have been included.

Post # 5
3570 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I did not include siblings partners who were not married.   None were engaged, so I never really thought about it.  I think you guys should have been included.  Maybe it totally slipped the bride’s mind?

Post # 6
6692 posts
Bee Keeper

I think you should have been included, too, but  they are obviously drawing the line at marriage.   If they are so worried that one or more of you may break up before the wedding, they could have taken some additional  nuclear family shots.

Post # 8
179 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

At my wedding we included my husband’s brother’s fiancee (now his wife) in our family pictures – and at her recent wedding, they took pictures of the immediate family both with and without fiancees and wives.  It does seem rude to exclude you from all the pictures.


Post # 9
11668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I wouldn’t go out of my way to put GFs/BFs/Fiances in my formal wedding portraits just in case….Maybe 1 picture if we had time, but our portraits were so rushed there wasn’t any time for anything other than parents/grandparents/siblings (and siblings husbands/wives).

Post # 10
1410 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I agree that maybe they drew the line at married couples…you know just in case….like nobody gets divorced anymore.

It could be worse….at my first wedding, my exSIL (that I didn’t get along with) insisted and make a scene about her friend being in my exH’s family pics. This was the same girl that almost punched me out in HS and I really was pissed that my exSIL brought her as her guest….knowing damn well that we had bad blood. 

Post # 11
2173 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Are any of her brothers (or maybe sisters not mentioned) actually married?  A lot of times in my family, they like to do “core family” shots- -i.e., blood siblings.  But they also do the in-laws in different shots.  Maybe that was intended but forgotten?

You probably should have been included in some pictures, but they may have heard horror stories or something about how their friend’s sister was engaged but then they broke up, and now he’s in all the wedding shots and it’s sad, etc.  But that could happen with married couples too.  You really can’t win, ha.

Post # 12
855 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I think it’s rude.  My aunt and my cousin forced my cousin’s boyfriend into family pictures when they had only been dating a month, while DH was deliberately told he couldn’t be in family pictures when we were engaged, so this is a bit of a hot-button issue for me.

In this day of digital photography, I think it is ridiculous that there cannot be one picture with biological family only, and then another few pictures with all of the family so that everyone is happy.

Post # 14
1000 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

We took pictures with and without my SIL’s FI, which turned out to be a good thing since they are no longer together.  I think that’s probably the best way to handle it with couples who are engaged or dating.  But I have a blended family so I’m used to having 5 different combinations of every picture taken.

Once married, I think siblings-in-law should be included, unless we’re talking about something like a nuclear family picture without any spouses, children or other relatives.  On a weird somewhat-related note, my other SIL was reluctant to get into a few family pictures even though we were urging her to, which just led to rampant speculation that she and my brother were getting a divorce.  (Not true – she’s due any day with their second child.)

Post # 15
4576 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@LeopardPrintBee:  Sounds pretty questionable to me. Did someone actually say to you “family only” or “y’all aren’t family”?

Post # 16
1177 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@LeopardPrintBee:  I don’t consider the people my sisters married *my* family, but I would put them in my wedding photos for my sisters’ sake.  There’s nothing wrong with them, I just define family as individuals who I am related to and have a real relationship with (so basically, my two sisters, my husbandm and my children).

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