Post # 1
First off, congratulations to all of those who are lucky enough to have found the person you are going to spend your life with and the best of luck in whatever type of wedding you are planning. I got engaged last spring to a wonderful guy who has been the most supportive person I have ever known and is my partner in every way imaginable. I am so happy to be with him and for the life we will build together.
That being said, I am not, by any means, what I would consider a “traditional” bride and often struggle with the fact that we both want a beautiful and special wedding, but at the same time, will not make the financial sacrifice that so many other couples and their families make for 5 hours of our lives. We are not out to impress 200+ people, but rather share an intimate and special occasion with our closest family and friends who truly know us as a couple. I often feel as though there is really no place for brides like me. I have already found my dress, but did not go with bridesmaids, did not have an “ah ha” crying moment when I found it, and my mother couldn’t care less what I wear so long as I am happy… I just wasn’t raised to put so much emphasis on those types of details.
I guess I am wondering if there are other brides out there who feel similarly and almost as though you are displaced by the wedding industry? Don’t get me wrong, I am looking forward to my wedding so much, but realistically, it is going to be a big party in celebration of our love and future, not the biggest, most important moment of our lives, considering like many engaged couples, we have been living together in a marriage like relationship for some time. Additionally, we are both very driven, ambitious people, and have big plans for ourselves independently and together and a wedding, while important, does not take the cake.
Any other laid back brides out there just looking to plan a great party?
Post # 3
I think I am one.
And I say “I think” because I love fashion and shoes, so my dress and shoes are pretty important to me – although I’m not expecting my BM’s to cry when they see me in it. Just wanna look HOT. haha.
I have 3 bridesmaids – but mostly because these girls have been the pillars in my life, and I want them to be part of my union with the man that I love. They are there for me when times are hard, and I am honoured that they are happy to stand behind me.
That being said – I’m a project manager by day (bride by night, haha) so I think the reason why I am so lax in other aspects of my wedding (the stationary, the decor, etc etc) is because I’m really just sick of planning stuff.
At the end of the day, I just want to spend that special day (it’s a destination wedding to minimize the control of scope) to be spent with a few of my family and closest friends in celebration of our new life.
Hooray to other laid back brides that don’t mind that the whites don’t match 🙂
Post # 4
I’m totally one. We aren’t spending thousands of dollars on a photgrapher because my BIL and his dad can do a great job for next to nothing, we aren’t worried about having the most expensive flowers ( I’m going silk and my sister’s friend is making the center pieces and bouquets) and so on.
Even with attire we are off the beaten path so to speak, our grommsmen will be wearing converse chucks, probably gray pants and vests with no tux jacket..because to us everyone should be comfortable and how many men do you know that actually want to be stuck in a tux for 5 hours? Yeah not many.
My girls are being given a color swatch and let loose to find their own dress. I’m not worried about everything and everyone matching up perfectly.
Hell, I’ve even decided all of my girls are going to be Honorary Attendants. I will have 4 Matrons of Honor and 1 Made of Honor. Simply because they are all special to me and no one should feel like less than.
To us, it is more about our love and happiness and not about the most glamorous party to make everyone jealous.
Post # 5
My grandpa is smoking pork for 150 people and we’ll have keg beer and a bonfire on a crisp October night.. I can’t WAIT. I am borrowing my dress and our venue is a center for sustainability (old rustic barn converted to house concerts, etc). I’m doing a lot myself, including flowers, invitations, and catering. It will be special, intimate, and made from a lot of love.
I too am so disenchanted with the entire wedding industry and I just don’t feel the need to have many of the things a lot of brides feel are “necessary” (1K photographer, limo, DJ, $1K+ dress.. etc) We also live together with 2 dogs and a cat, so it feels as though we are already married. I too just want to have a great party with our closest friends and family to celebrate a new step in our lives.
Don’t feel alone! If you ever want any low-key, budget friendly ideas, definitely message me 🙂 I’m full of them.
Post # 6
I think I am pretty laid back. I didn’t cry when I got my dress, although I obsessed about finding shoes – not because I couldn’t find the right ones, but because none of the stores carried the colour I wanted. We are having a brunch wedding and I am letting my MOH wear whatever she wants, we are going to allow kids at the reception and i am not too strict on rules and traditions.
Post # 7
I am definitely laid back. I was never one of those girls that dreamed of her wedding.. And honestly I was never one who really believed in marriage.. If I didn’t totally believe that FI is 100% the one for me I wouldn’t be getting married.. For our wedding I really just want to have everyone together & to celebrate.. Nothing big & fancy, just a good time for everyone to remember.
Post # 8
You’re not alone.
Our budget is 5k, almost all coming from my parents. We’re getting married at my church which will cost less than 1k for ceremony and reception areas.
My dress (from DB) is really simple and my mom said, “Yea, it’s you. I couldn’t imagine you in anything much more fancy.”
Our groomsmen are wearing gray vests and whatever gray pants that they can find, lol
I would have been fine with my BM’s wearing whatever dress they wanted, but my sister really wanted matching dresses so they’re all doing their thing. I’m doing my own makeup.
Both our wedding bands cost $80. We’re borrowing a ton of stuff and getting help from friends with flowers, cupcakes, food, and music.
Post # 9
I’m with you here. My fiance and I basically planned a nice party for our guests. Nothing that’s to be expected is included because I just don’t like some of the things people do at weddings! Father/daughter dance? Na. Garter toss? No thanks. Bridal shower? What’s the point!
We’re getting married, having dinner, playing games, and enjoying a nice evening with friends and family. And I’m so happy with it (my wedding is TOMORROW!) because it’s special and unexpected and blows everyone away when I tell them how simple yet LOGICAL all of our decisions have been.
Just own it and enjoy how unique your wedding will be just because you’re not doing it the way everyone expects.
Post # 10
I was. Until I joined here, and how I spend all freakin day reading boards, surfing the internet and generally obsessing about our tiny 20 person wedding! I guess the energy here is infectious 🙂
Post # 11
Describes me to a tee.
FI and I have been together for 6 years next month, and have owned our own house together for 5 of those. We also have a 1.5 year old son.
As you can see, we have plenty of better things to do then throw away obscene amounts of cash on one day.
We are going to the Dominican for 1 week, all inclusive, and have 24 guests coming. Kids – heck yes they’re allowed! I could never leave my son at home. What a great excuse for a vacation.
They do ALL the planning there, the wedding is free. My dress was $360 (I went alone), flip flops for shoes. I told my BMs to wear whatever they choose, but I ask that they go shopping together so that they can coordinate themselves somewhat. I just care about commiting myself to my FI and my little family more than making everything “magical”. As for the best day of my life – not gonna happen. The best day was when my son was born, and every day since then tops the last.
My parents wanted an AHR more than we did, so my budget for that is $2000 (theyre paying). A community hall, few linens, seashell centerpieces, late night buffet, toonie bar and good DJ and weve got ourselves a party. I love weddingbee though for all of its DIY and dress porn! Oh and no wedding showers here! No registry either!
Post # 12
Not alone at all! This is my second marriage but my tastes have certainly changed since the first time. We too have a lot more we’d rather spend money on than a huge wedding. There are a few things that really matter to us that we’ll spend money on and not get too crazy about other things. We both really want a photographer because neither of us had that the first time and we know that this one is IT! But flowers, reception food, etc….not so much. It’s more about the ceremony for us and the meaning of it.
Post # 13
oh yeah, I’m right with you. totally laid back. i get weird looks a lot from friends and family when i say i don’t care about a lot of the typical wedding things. i feel like i’m a very bad bride!
i’ve asked my bm’s to wear any black knee length dress they want with any black heels they want, didn’t cry when i bought the dress, met with the florist once to pick bouquets, am thinking of doing picture frames, votive candles, and preserved orchids scattered around the table for a simple centerpiece, and am doing my best not to involve myself in family drama!
my FI and I are treating this as a nice party, because we want a laid back celebration with friends and family. i figure that if people get upset we don’t have $50 centerpieces or an $800 wedding cake they can talk about it behind our backs. i don’t care!
i am not very bridal at all!
Post # 14
So great to see that I am not alone!! I love so many of your ideas. I always find myself getting so overwhelmed because we are keeping our wedding more simple and there are always people within the industry and personally who telling me things that are must-haves that I couldn’t care less about, such as showers, bouquet & garter tosses, limos… no thanks! Honestly, if I didn’t have such a great father and wasn’t the only daughter, I wouldn’t even be walked down the aisle (or have an aisle with which anyone would walk down) but I am willing to make one sacrifice.
Good luck on your planning, ladies.
Post # 15
- Wedding: June 2011 - Sydney, Australia
Well, I’d like to THINK I’m laidback – I am compared to some other brides I’ve known! I’m completely comfortable leaving the big details in the hands of my vendors… and I’m trying not to sweat the small stuff. Talk to me in 78 days though. 😉
Post # 16
Just adding myself to this list. Our thing is, we want it to be MEMORABLE and FUN but that doesn’t mean it has to be expensive. We also have some pretty awesome “friendors” that are helping us keep it really low on the budget scale. I feel the same way you do because I feel like I “should” be wanting to spend more. I will admit I’m totally excited to register for stuff that we can use forever. 🙂
We also don’t buy into a lot of the traditions or “money-wasters” as I really think of them. And just so you don’t feel alone – there will be NO bouquet/garter toss, limo, or even a large amount of flowers. I think I’m going to walk myself…or maybe he’ll agree to walking down together. 🙂 Also — NO traditional vows for us either.