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Having the same name makes no difference in banking or legal situations. As long as you have a legal marriage, you are legally considered married regardless of the name issue. DH and I have multiple joint accounts and I never changed my last name.
I haven't changed mine yet, and that's kind of silly of your FI! We went ahead and put my name on DH's bank account, and there was absolutely no problem. Even if you take his name, you still have a first and a last name that have to go on every legal document, regardless of it's the same as his or not.
I don't think it will cause issues. My parents don't have the same last name and they share a bank account.
I'll be keeping my name and he'll be keeping his. Our kids will take my name.
@soyjoy222: There won't be any issues that I could think of, other than people assuming you are Mrs.His last name =)
My Aunt kept her maiden name after she got married and she has no problem, and her and my uncle have multiple businesses, and residences..under both of their names.
As far as bank accounts go, I see no problem with having different names, not sure what kind of problem your FI is referring to. My DH & I, when we were not married had joint accounts with both of our different last names..never had any issues at all.
No issues with combining bank accounts. When I got engaged I merged bank accounts and have had NO problems.
I think regardless of whether you change your name or not officially, you will always be Mrs. HisLastName socially? Correct me bees if I'm wrong?
I haven't changed my name yet due to laziness and because I travel so much for work. I can just see myself getting to a hotel or airport and everything not matching up perfectly.
My parents have different last names. We all have different last names as children and we have never had any problems. Sometimes there has been awkward social situations but not any legal problems. Your FI is overreacting.
I am also keeping my name and FI is keeping his; his parents each kept their own names and have had no complications (they've been married 30 years).
We also intend to share finances, mortgage, etc. and it should not be a problem. We'll cross the "what are the kids' last name?" bridge when we come to it!
Not to threadjack, but how do you prove you're married/related if your husband or kids are in the hospital and you have a different last name?
Your fiance is probably just dissapointed and upset that you dont want his name and trying to come up with a "logical" reason why you should change your name so he doesnt have to say "but I want you to!"
@lefeymw: This has crossed my mind, as well!
@PinkMagnolia: Not sure, but I know at my work this is an issue when we get referrals for kids with different last names and then they change names b/c the parents are married, but the hospital will always give a child the mom's last name if the names are not the same.
@PinkMagnolia: I have some friends who had kids out of wedlock and they all have the fathers name. So I thought the same thing. Unless maybe she is referring to when the father is not present or unidentified?
@PinkMagnolia: Well, its not law. I think its certainly the norm, but it doesnt have to be that way. For example, I have friends that just--*just*--had an adorable baby girl. So beautiful, mom and dad are so happy. They're engaged and plan on getting married next year. The baby has her mom's last name. Certainly uncommon, but doable.
Hospitals don't decide what your baby's name is, the parents do. Most single moms dont want their kid to have the dad's name, but if they're in a relationship and want the child to have the father's surname, they can certainly dictate that.
The only problem I've ever encountered was picking up mail at the post office. If packages came in for my husband while I was running errands, I wasn't allowed to pick them up, even after showing them DD's insurance card with the same last name on it 
Other than that I've never run into any problems with banking or documentation. Even when filling out DD's social security paperwork they told me I could go by my maiden or married name if I preferred, even though I had never changed my name through them. Nor has it ever been a problem at the hospital. I signed discharge papers for my husband with my maiden name and no one ever mentioned it.
The only issue I had with not changing my name is a few banks refused to cash checks (gifts) that were made out to Mr. and Mrs. his last name after the wedding. We went to another branch of our bank and eventually someone did it.
Also, I'd get a power of attorney form just in case. Granted, my husband is in the military and away for long periods of time- but if your husband isn't present for something it's a great way to stop people from telling you they can only give him information because of the last name thing.
Most of the issues I've ever heard about (from friends since I changed my name) is things like @KatyElle: mentioned. I have a friend who is a pilot and his family can fly for free. But since wife has a different last name, they have to provide documentation that they are married.
I agree with @lefeymw:. Many guyes I talked to are secretly disappointed when the wife doesn't change her name. They would never tell their wife and understand it logically, but emotionally, they don't like it. I think you need to quit talking logistics with FI and start talking about how you each *feel* about changing or not changing you name.
@soyjoy222: My MOH has a different last name than her daugther and it is always an issue when it comes to picking up her daughter from daycare, dealing with hospital visits etc. Other than dealing with her daughter she said she hasn't encountered any other issues.
I don't plan to take my FI's last name but I do intend to hyphenate once we have children. That way a portion of my name contains the same last name as the kids thus eliminating the issues mentioned. While you don't have to use the hyphened name on a regular basis (just like we don't use middle names) it is there on legal documents to dispell any questions.
@Treejewel19: Didn't think of that. I could just hyphenate when we have kids but not use all the names.
I don't know. The closer we get to the wedding the more I don't see myself wanting to do it! I do want to know if he is resistive because he wants us to share a name or what.
@lefeymw: Totally agree.
I kept my last name. It was a pretty easy decision (though there was a little bit of stress when I realized that he would have preferred if I changed it... I'd prefer for him to be a little bit revolutioanry and take my name... we both got over it and happily kept our names). I'm VERY happy with my decision (yay no forms!), and the only time it's been a pain was a couple of people who made checks out to Mr. and Mrs. HisLast, but that would have been an issue anyway because even if you are changing your name, it's not updated quickly enough to deposit wedding checks.
As far as anything financial, institutions have a pretty strict mandate to deal ONLY with the account holder unless they have written instructions otherwise on file. You can have a joint account with whoever you want, but it's required to get the proper paperwork done whether it's a joint account whether it's spousal or not. All the companies I've worked for, they're very emphatic about not releasing any information or taking any instruction from spouses.
@KatyElle: Yes.... this is the only stupid issue I see. I ordered soemthing at walmart for pick up and thought I put alternate pick up person, but that didnt go through. so it was in my maiden name, and he said he was my husband and they gave him a look and is like.. she dosent have the same name?? Then my billing address is still different, and his licence is still his old apt address, and they're like.. and you dont live together!? and it was a big stupid ordeal.
I'm married and kept my name, and honestly it has been super easy, except maybe my boss was a little choked he had to actually learn my difficult-to-pronounce name instead of it disappearing! Haha.
We have a joint account and no problems there. No issues with our insurance (we're under the same insurance account), gym memberships (ditto), credit cards (ditto!), or anything. We are each other's life insurance beneficiaries, again with no issues.
Remember, there are never any posts on Weddingbee complaining about how gosh-darn hard it is to keep your own name, but there are plenty about the headaches of changing! So if you're rating it by red tape, I think the point goes to keeping it.
I've also seen a couple bees post that their mother had a different last name and had no problem with picking kids up from school etc. Most adults understand the phrase "My husband and I have different last names." So don't worry! :)
@soyjoy222: He is being rather silly! My SO and I just opened a joint account. Anyone can open a joint account/jointly purchase property/anything else. You can do it as friends, business partners, spouses, whatever - no need for the same names. I think your guy just has a preference and is trying to persuade you!
@PinkMagnolia: You don't have to ever prove it's your kid in the hospital, do you? They just ask your relationship to the patient and you will state "mother". And if for some weird reason they didn't believe you, I'm sure they could search the medical records for confirmation. But I can't imagine it ever even happening. As for kids always taking their dad's last name...... no? It's personal preference, just as much as you changing or keeping your name is. I have my mum's last name. And my friend and her 4 siblings all have their mum's last name, too.
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FI and I talk about this sometimes, but I am still undecided. I don't really want to change my name. I never wanted to. Has nothing to do with not being proud of his family, blah blah blah, it just is that I am me, I've been me for 25 years, and I really don't think I need to change MY name!
I know that if we had kids they would have his last name. I might change it by then so that we all have the same name, but I don't know. I just really am not comfortable with changing it. He is not the type that would ever change his name, create a new one for us both, etc.
So Bees: Is there any serious, real inconvenience to having your name not changed? FI says he is uncomfortable combining bank accounts if we don't share the same name because it could cause an issue with our accounts. I said, WTF? Is that even possible? We will both be authorized users of the account, right?
He keeps saying it would be a 'legal nightmare' if we didn't have the same name. I don't see why that is even an issue...we will have a marriage cert. saying that we are married, so why does it matter if I change my name or not?