Post # 1
- Wedding: June 2008 - Winery in the Gold Country
Mrs. Bee sent me the first season of How I Met Your Mother and I’m almost through watching it! One thing that strikes me as a bit odd is Ted’s obsession with "settling down and getting married". I’ve never in my life encountered a man like this. Plenty of men I know are looking for a solid relationship, but I’ve never heard a man utter "I want to get married." Maybe it is because I only know men in the 25-30 age range… perhaps older men out there yearn to get married. I’m not quite sure what it is.
While this is a GROSS generalization, I do think that there are tons of women out there who are/were dying to get married (me being one of them). I knew I wanted it, and went looking for it. Men on the other hand, I don’t know any that set out looking for a mate because they wanted to get MARRIED.
I think Mr. Peng only asked me to marry him because it was the logical next step, and it got really annoying fielding questions of "when are you guys getting married?" I don’t think he was like DYING to ask me to marry him. We both knew we’d get married, and it just happened when the timing was right for him to ask.
Was your husband/FI dying to get married? Do you know ANY men like HIMYM’s Ted who are looking to just settle down and get married? Have they always been that kind of person or did it happen with age or perhaps seeing his friends all get married?
Post # 3
My guy made it quite clear on his post (we met online) that he was looking to settle down & get married…something to the effect of "if that is not what you are looking for, please do not respond.."
Post # 4
My current FH has always wanted to settle down and be married. Before "us" he was in a serious relationship. They lived together and he had even bought a ring for her, and their relationship fizzeled and he never had a chance to propose when they were happier.
Like you I had never met a man who WANTED to get married. So when I met my FH and we started to talk about our future marriage came up right away and at first I was sceptical, but in the end he proposed and proved that not all men are afraid of marriage. We dated less than a year before getting engaged and have been engaged now for almost 1 year. Each day gets better, and we are happier.
BTW, he loves the show ‘How I Met Your Mother’.
Post # 5
I knew a guy who was dieing to get married…he proposed to me after 2 months…that never happened LOL
His problem is he’s a mommas boy. His mom knows everything he does, and has a say in everything he does in his life. It is SO AWKWARD to be with him because his mom can swear she knows everything. CREEPY! He’s still single, 10 years later. I doubt he’ll ever find a girl who can handle his mom…scary…
Post # 6
My guy and I got this part right out of the way at the get go. He said he was looking for a lifetime committment from a partner and not living together. I said I was wanting to someday meet my future husband. We were immediately on the same page.
He’s a traditional, settled, established kind of guy yet with sophisticated tastes and at same time extremely down to earth. He loves his kids so much that it made him even more handsome to me!
I think guys will let you know what their intent is if you really listen to them.
Post # 7
My guy is such a mushy- cuddly-uber sensitive guy. But the thought of marriage freaked him out. Not because he’s afriad of commitment, but he says that he fears losing his ‘me’ time. I quickly squashed this by stating that that way exactly my fear too. Which it is…or was….who am I kidding still is. I love spending time with him but I just need my own time to blog-stalk, read or just poop-out. WHOA sorry about that tangent. But my guy isn’t one of those just looking to settle down nor was he searching for someone to marry when we met (to be fair we were 14). But now after talking about our marriage qualms he more ready and excited than ever.
Post # 8
- Wedding: July 2018 - Outdoor ceremony, banquet hall reception
Yes, I think Mr. Powder Puff was definitely looking to settle down when we met.
But I DEFINITELY know a guy who was actively looking to get married. We’ve been friends since high school, and he was always dying for a girlfriend, but no girl ever really wanted to date him. Like me, they just wanted to be friends.
Then my mom introduced him to one of her co-workers, and BAM! They dated for 6 months, got engaged, and got married 5 months after that. So in less than one year he went from desperately wanting to get married but not finding anyone, to married.
There are for sure guys like that out there.
Post # 9
I agree that there are some guys out there like that. I think my guy is one of them. He brought up the subject way before I was ready to consider it and let me know that he intended to marry me. Part of why that scared me was because he’d recently had a broken engagement, so I feared that he was that guy who was just ready to be married!
Post # 10
My FI def wasn’t thinking "I want to get married" on our first date, like you its now the right time in our lives to get married and NOW he wants to be married. But when he was single, heck no; marriage was not what he had on his mind when he dated girls.
I only know one guy who is like that character, he seriously goes out on one date and will say things like "theres potential for marriage." But he is almost 40 and never been married so I think this is the reason he is the only guy I know that has this mindset.
Post # 11
Maybe it’s because I lived in a town where the ratio of men to women used to be 7:1, but I’ve always found that the men were ready to settle down, and I was still gun-shy.
Part of the issue may have been age as well. When you are dating in your early 30’s it feels like everyone is sizing you up as marriage potential. I have to say, it was disconcerting to say the least. I wasn’t looking to get married, I was looking for the right guy!
Post # 12
I know of 3 guys who want to get married and are single. So they are definitely waiting to meet the right girl. One guy was so ready to get married, he already has a wedding fund set up! They all really want to have kids as well. Nice guys, but all are still single. I wonder if it’s b/c they are too anxious to get married? Could be off-putting.
Post # 13
My husband was looking for marriage too. He says he thought of it as the next logical step in his life; at 28 when we started dating he had a good job and had finished law school, and so now he wanted to find someone to marry and start a family with. He proposed at 11 months of dating and we were married at 1.5 years. Most of his friends are not married yet. He also says that in his earlier 20s he was definitely not looking to get married. I think marriage fit into a greater life plan for him/us. When we got engaged/married the timing was right for both of us—I am 5 years younger and I was already looking for that life-stability thing.
At the same time though I have been wary of situations where people get married just because it is the logical next step. I mean that in the sense of that reasons like, "we want to spend our lives together" and "we have the same goals in life and want to achieve them together" seem like a better foundation for marriage than "it was either that or break up." (Not trying to imply that is anyone’s situation here, just that it can happen.)
Post # 14
My FI was the type that was DYING to get married. He always tells me it’s because of his military background and he’s seen how quickly life can be taken from you, so he really wanted to get married and start a family. I’ve slowed him down a bit though, as I was the one who never thought I would get married (until I met him, of course).
Post # 15
My FI was dying to get married. In fact I was the one who wasn’t ready for the longest time. At the ripe old age of 21 he flat out told me, ‘Let’s get married when you graduate’. He waited and waited until he finally felt like I was at the same place he was, and when that happened, he proposed. But yup, he was one of the rare men who was ready and willing to get married.
Post # 16
I think my fiancee is more eager for our wedding than I am. He’s very into the idea of being married, settled, and secure.