Post # 1
…ir is it just what we tel ourselves so we don’t lose it completely!
Someone told me that her proposal was lovely and she felt like it had been really well planned out until her FI fessed up that he had bought her ring the day he was proposing !!
Now obv none of this truly matters but it made me wonder are they really plotting and planning away for months (much like a woman would probably do if proposing was up to us) or are they just waiting until they feel really really ready and going for it?? AND do they really try hard to throw us off the scent or is what we see/hear what we’re getting??
My SO has gone out of his way to let me know it will not be happening on our vacation in October. His reason being that lots of people (my mother mainly haha) were oohing and aahing in our direction and he says he doesn’t want me to be disappointed. I told him not to worry I don’t expect it then but part of me wondered why he was so concerned with ruling it out for that time. Don’t worry I don’t have my hopes up whatsoever because he’s mostly a what he says is what you get kinda guy. It did get me wondering though how many bees have been convinced by their SO nothing was happening only to be surprised??
I’d love to hear from all the bees but esp engaged bees on this one…did your FI give you a timeline to throw you off and then surprise you before it?
Post # 3
I know mine has a plan, but we will see how that pans out, lol
Post # 4
@Laurenplusalex: mine says he has a plan too but his version of a plan is usually think and think and think but no action until the last minute! Ah sure ya gotta love em
Post # 5
well… I hope my SO is. It makes me feel better believing that he is sneaky (with the proposal… nothing else lol)
Post # 6
As newly engaged bee, yes. He is that sneaky.
But it wasn’t for months! It was for maybe a month. One night we were talking, and it just clicked for him that if he wanted to get married when he wanted to, he had to propose to me soon!
He hunted a bit for a ring, and bought it within a week. Waited a week for it to get sent to him, and then proposed to me the next day.
I had no idea it was coming, as he did give me a fake timeline, telling me there was no way he could propose until October, but that I could start looking at wedding stuff, and plan the framework and find places I liked.
Post # 7
I’m pretty sure that as soon as it occured to my fiance that he wanted to marry me, he wasted no time! I found out after the engagement that he had gone undercover to find my ring size around April 23th, bought it shortly after, and then proposed on May 3.
On the day he proposed, he told me to take the day off work and that he had plans for a special day for us. When romantic-self let herself think “this would make a perfect proposal,” dominant, type-A-self was like, “you’re silly for thinking that and getting your hopes up when we have never discussed marriage or ever gone ring shopping.”
So yes, when he told me to stand up, started saying sweet things that are now a blur, then reached into his pocket as he got down on one knee, it WAS a total surprise! I’m in awe of how he managed to do that without me having a clue!!!
Post # 8
@Brownbear23: Recently engaged bee here – three months already!
Yes, my FI absolutely worked to throw me off. He bought my ring six months before he proposed. He was sending me ideas about rings up until the month before. Four days before he proposed he was talking about proposing in six months.
Keep your eyes peeled, ladies! They are as sneaky (and sometimes even sneakier) than you think 🙂
Post # 9
@tiff-tiff-tiff: yes only sneakiness for this!!
Post # 10
@lemiller: see these stories give me hope! I would love to think he’s plotting behind my back cos I think that adds to the romance of it all. Congrats on your engagement 🙂
Post # 11
@Cornmuffin09: Congrats!! I saw your ring it’s gorgeous 🙂
Post # 12
My boy wasn’t very sneaky. He unintentionally gave me lots of hints that it was coming, so I figured it out the day before. Also I had a meltdown about a month before he proposed and he specifically told me he would NOT be proposing on our anniversary. And then he did. But I knew that the fact that he specifically promised not to actually made it more likely that he would.
Post # 13
I don’t think we can say definitively if all men are sneaky or not. 😛
It probably depends on the specific man involved.
Post # 14
It is my experience in life as an Older Bee… that when men finally do make up their minds to Marry the Woman they love… that they are quick to “want to get her done”
And that includes The Proposal
They make up their mind… and ask.
Sometimes that means buying a ring, sometimes it doesn’t. There are many a Proposal that happens without a Ring (far less Hollywood Proposals than us women may realize)
Men who do buy Rings… often pop the Question soon after it is in their hands… as if it is “burning a hole in their pocket”… when asked many will look at you kind of confused and say… “Why wait ?”
Men tend to be very basic creatures (bless their souls)… some may indeed give such matters tons of fore-thought and planning, but I’m gonna say that most honestly DO NOT
(Even those who say they plan a speach out… what they want to say… in reality “throw it out the window” when the moment comes)
Lol, and usually when it comes to planning a Wedding… the one thing many Brides say, is their “silly guys” for some reason thought that they could plan a Wedding in just a few weeks / mere months, and have no idea about the reality that a BIG White Pouffy Family Wedding can take a year or more to organize.
Hope this helps,
Post # 15
I always considered men to make plans in the heat of the moment.
But SO has managed to surprise me lots of times with carefully-planned things, so I supose there’s hope 🙂
Post # 16
My SO told me that his proposal will either turn out really, really well, or it will fail in an epic, embarassing way. So I think he (they) at least TRY to be sneaky..it’s just a matter of how well they can actually execute these complex plans they’ve concocted.