Are we allowed at a wedding ?

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
4043 posts
Honey bee

Ionaa89:  legally? Yes. Would anybody turn you away? Probably not. Would you get some side eyes and snarky remarks? Probably. 

It’s typically a good practice to not wear white to a wedding to avoid ruffling feathers (unless specifically instructed to do so).

Post # 3
165 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Ionaa89:  If anyone shows up to my wedding in white they will be kindly asked to change or to leave. However, some brides may not actually mind at all…I just happen to not be one of those brides.

Post # 4
192 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I would never wear white to someone else’s wedding, but I have seen it done. It is up to you what you wear, but I would really reconsider wearing white if that is your plan.

bmo88:  +1

Post # 5
889 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Ionaa89:  why would you ever wanna do this? So rude. 

Post # 6
43009 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Not a great idea. This is the bride’s day. Let her have it.

Post # 6
1072 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Physically, yes you can, but I’m not sure why you would. Why risk annoying someone on their wedding day just because you have a slight clothing preference? There are literally millions of other colors in the world, why choose that one?

Post # 8
7477 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Would I wear an all white dress to a wedding- no but then I don’t wear white as a rule because I will get it dirty in 5 seconds. I also wouldn’t want to upset a bride no matter how silly I think the reason may be. But I would wear a white patterned dress and if the bride didn’t like it then I would question my friendship with them because to me worrying about what your guests wear is silly and the bride and groom should be focussed on who came to their wedding and supported them and their marriage and not the colour of their clothes.

Would I get upset if someone wore white to my wedding- nope. I did not care what my guests wore, just that they were there to show their love and support.

Post # 9
15072 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

MsquareM:  some people don’t know the “rules”, maybe it wasn’t culturally relevant or some people just aren’t taught all the nuances of etiquette.  There are a lot of reasons why someone may not know this particular rule of etiquette. It was probably the reason she asked, which is good and why WB is here. 

Ionaa89:  as a general rule, white, off white, ivory, etc…..  are reserved for the bride. 

Post # 10
3618 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Ionaa89:  Everyone is allowed to be rude but that doesn’t mean everyone should 

Unless told otherwise it is inconsiderate to wear white at a wedding. Hundreds of colors means hundreds of options! 

Post # 11
2893 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Ionaa89:  If you’re the bride and it’s your wedding!

Post # 12
7664 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

It depends.

For example, at an Indian wedding then you would not wear red, because that is the bride’s colour. Of course, you would not wear white either, as that is the colour of mourning! But different cultures have different standards and norms.

It may also be that an older couple (say, 50+) are getting married/remarried. I have seen older people on the bee wear white dresses, but IRL then all of the weddings I have been to with an older bride and groom have had the bride in colours. It may well be due to the old idea that wearing white for your second wedding is bad luck. In that case, I would ask the bride directly if she is wearing white and, if not, if you may wear it. I wore a white and yellow sun dress with sandals to my father’s wedding to my stepmother. She wore a multicoloured maxidress. And yes, I asked her first.

Post # 13
2087 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I went to a wedding last year where the mother of the groom wore a long, white, lace dress. Not cool

Post # 14
1888 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Yes, but considering you have every other possible color and/or print under the sun to pick, leave the white to the bride and even if you wear white every other single day on this one day don’t. Seriously it could be the best gift you could give the bride, let her shine.

Post # 15
2878 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

funny, I didn’t think I cared about this. But then 3 girls wore lacy and/or frilly white dresses to my DW and I was kinda like “really? I’m sure you know how frowned upon this is.” Plus the dresses looked new (very on-trend) so I don’t think it was a question of them not having anything else. I wasn’t upset but I definitely noticed it. I feel like to wear white to a wedding you must at some point had an internal convo with yourself that went something like “well, I know it’s kinda bad form to wear this dress. But oh whatever I love it, the bride will just have to get over it.” Why anyone would indulge an attitude like that as an invited guest to a once-in-a-lifetime event? IDK.

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