- 3 years ago
- Wedding: October 2014
Ok, so my engagement party is coming up (YAY) and we sent out invites over two weeks ago, meaning invited guests have had almost 2 weeks to get back to us by our RSVP date (Friday)
I wanted to have the RSVP on a Friday to let people have the Saturday to wiggle their butts into gear, and time on Sunday for us to catch up with stragglers.
All my family had RSVP’d, half of our friends had, but only a small percent of his family had taken the courtesy to. So I started calling our friends, no one cared and they all said yep, thanks for the call we forgot!
We then called FI’s mother – she is really the head of their entire family, she’s like their nucleus hehe – because we knew they would more than likely call her before calling me (the number down for the RSVP) Anyhow, when FI asked about the first set of people we were going to check, he went silent, said two yep’s and hung up. He told me she said it was very rude for us to call people chasing them and that we should wait for them! I was PISSED. I said it was rude for them NOT to reply to our RSVP’s by the date and still expect to come!
My main issues with this are:
How do they know we don’t require their RSVP by that date? For all they know we need to know a number to order a certain amount of gifts/table dec’s etc? We don’t, but that is beside the fact – they don’t know this.
And two, I feel like this is going to set a bad precident for the wedding RSVP’s. FMIL asked why we need the RSVP’s two weeks before, saying “They only need to know less than one week before how many are coming.” Im sorry, we’ve sent them out, we’ve put a date on it and you say yes or no, you dont debate the date! FSIL and FMIL also both said when discussing wedding invites that you only need to send them out a month or month and a half before the wedding, and my opinion was totally discounted. Some people have had to decline the engagement because they had prior plans, those were sent out a month before. I believe people need at least two and a half months to organise, book and plan. I would also not like to be chasing RSVP’s a week and a half before the wedding like I am now!
Regardless of my issues with her, who is the one in the wrong here? Are we being rude chasing people after the RSVP date, or are they being rude not replying by the RSVP date and assuming its ok to say yes later on?