Are we Expected to pay for everyone's dinner?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
1321 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

i dont think so

Post # 3
Member
856 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

HuysuzAyi33:  I would plan a dinner that you can afford for everyone that evening.

Post # 4
Member
6505 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

You could word the invite in a certain way so that the guests know that it’s not a hosted dinner. I would probably avoid that all together though and just host a barbecue.

Post # 4
Member
1236 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - San Francisco, CA

If it’s not part of the reception and you are super-duper clear about that, then no, I don’t think so. Couple (or family) covers rehearsal dinner, ceremony, reception. All the rest (day-after brunch, etc) is optional.

Post # 6
Member
90 posts
Worker bee

Yes! This is your wedding dinner, it will take place on your wedding day, and the guests will be your bridal party.  You will still be considered as the host.

Post # 7
Member
5207 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

HuysuzAyi33:  Your wedding, your dollar. 

Post # 9
Member
610 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

HuysuzAyi33:  I would probably assume that dinner was being covered for me as a guest but wouldn’t mind a BBQ or something inexpensive.  We’re having a BBQ rehearsal dinner at a park beside our venue. 

Post # 10
Member
385 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

If it’s not part of the wedding, then no.

Post # 11
Member
2878 posts
Sugar bee

No, I think you host the high tea reception for everyone to attend at that’s all. Half your guests will leave afterwards = wedding reception is over. But there’s nothing planned for later in the evening, if as you group you choose to go out and eat together, then everybody can cover their own bills. 

Post # 12
Member
2203 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I think it would be a nice gesture to do the BBQ dinner, but no, it’s not necessary, unless you claim it as part of the wedding festivities and require everyone else to go.

Post # 13
Member
7281 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

I don’t think you are obligated to host a post-reception dinner. If you want, you could tell everyone who is staying at the b&b that you and your (now) husband plan to dine at XYZ restaurant at 7:30pm, and if anoyone wants to meet up then, you are cool with having some casual hangout time. Or you and your (now) husband can enjoy a private dinner and revel in your just married giggles, while everyone else makes their own post-reception meal plans.

Post # 14
Member
8425 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

HuysuzAyi33:  I’m confused, are you hosting high tea or afternoon tea?  It’s my understanding that “high tea” is actually served late in the afternoon (i.e. 5:00pm) and is a full/heavy meal, so I can’t imagine your guests wanting to eat dinner after something like that.  If you mean afternoon tea aka “low tea” (i.e. finger sandwiches, scones, etc) and you wanted to have an additional dinner for your guests, then I would think you would be hosting.

Post # 15
Member
405 posts
Helper bee

You can have a casual afterparty just by word of mouth (make sure to invite all guests) abd those who came to the dinner would pay for themselves.  Or, you can host a dinner for everyone and pay.  I would not do as you are planning because that sounds like a tiered reception.

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