- 4 years ago
- Wedding: June 2013
My wedding day came and went, and I loved it. It is a beautiful memory now. I can’t say I regret it, but the stress leading up to it was unbearable. I read all these posts about the drama, the bickering, the family rifts that are caused by weddings. Not to mention the money that couples could better use as a downpayment on a house or something else.
I was thrilled with the engagement, and kept it to myself for one day. Then I called a good friend to “share.” She was excited for me, and showed up a couple of days later with a stack of wedding magazines. She informed me that one included a list of about 80 things that I needed to do to prepare for the wedding. Am I going to do this, will I have that, she asked. Being shy, and never caring much about weddings (so I knew little), I was suddenly overwhelmed by what was ahead of me.
Another friend tried to take over my wedding. “You bought your dress without me?” she asked. She seemed mortified I was not following certain traditions.
I should have just sent out invitations, but thought I would personally inform a close cousin. She proceeded to tell me how down she was on marriage and related a story about a couple that was just buying a house and living together without being married. In the most negative tone, she said, “Oh my God, do you REALLY want to do this?’ I should have told her that she did not need to feel obligated to come to the wedding if she was so down on marriage. Instead, all I could think to say was, “Well, I certainly did not expect such a negative response.” She later called back, left a message saying she was “offended” that I said she was being negative!
The stress built up to the point where I asked the doctor for anti-anxiety medication. I so regretted not having planned to elope. Even with my wedding day coming out fine, I still wonder about the whole process we put ourselves through. Just look at all the drama that unfolds here in the emotional thread. How many friendships are lost when friends become bridesmaids? Then read the reception thread, where there are so many guestzillas who critique every wedding so harshly. Why do we spend so much money to try to please so many people?
Our wedding was small, but the costs kept adding up, so we must have spent $10,000. A lot less than other people, I know, but we are still feeling the effects of draining our savings. We postponed our honeymoon until next year due to the cost of the wedding? Will it even feel like a honeymoon then?
Are weddings worth it?