Are weddings really worth it?

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1167 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@Carolsays:  Nope. Nope nope nope!

If I had it my way, everyone would just elope and share pictures – yay!

Im doing it for the family, and it would be a backyard picnic if my dad weren’t giving us a huge hand! Both our families would be horribly upset and would feel very bereft were we to not include them.


*sigh* there goes 8k Ill never get back…

Post # 4
931 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Carolsays:  I think it depends on the situation. My wedding was stressful. It was a destination wedding. I have a huge family and invited close to 500 people (but being destination only 200 came). i don’t regret it. It is true that i spent a lot but i recieved a lot of financial support.

The most important thing to me is that it brought my family together. There was so much fun, laughter and joy and to me it makes it all worth it.

Post # 6
318 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I didnt have any drama or stress leading up to the wedding and I found the photographers and venues myself. I got to see some people I hadn’t seen for a while (they flew to Paris – We moved to Switzerland) And the 15,000 euros we spent wasn’t money we needed. So it was nice we didn’t have to take any loans or money from other people or anything. 

I only had 6 people attend my wedding, it was nice

Post # 7
7282 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@Carolsays:  In general no I don’t think the money spent on weddings is worth it. But hey that is the materialistic culture that we live in. Unless brides/couples start refusing to pay the trumped up charges a lot of vendors charge when they hear the word wedding then nothing is going to change.

So financially yes a wedding isn’t worth it. But if you compare cost to benefit (family getting together, committing to the person you love in front of the people you love) then I would say it is worth it.

Most days I wish couples would go back to the backyard wedding with simple BBQ/meal. I would rather the couple spend $10 to cater in their backyard than $100 in a venue.

Post # 8
4513 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I had a small wedding (38 guests) but it still cost over $10,000. Originally I wanted to elope, but honestly I would not change how we ended up doing it. It was expensive, but we could afford it and didn’t go into debt for it. I didn’t deal with a lot of stress because I put my foot down with family and vendors. Some of the situations I read on the bee though are really sad. How someone can allow their family to take control and continually add on costs is beyond me. My mother is one of the most controlling people I know and she tried to take over, but I just didn’t allow it.

I think a wedding is worth the money if you can afford it comfortably. We already own a home and have our bills under control. If we didn’t have a house then I probably would have skimped on some wedding costs to save more toward a down payment or maybe just eloped.

In regard to stress though? If you are experiencing that high amount of stress then no, I don’t think its worth it at all. Yes you want your guests happy and comfortable, but at the end of the day it isn’t about the guests. Go to the courthouse if it’ll save you from family BS!

Post # 9
2299 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I honestly don’t know. We are eloping, so I think that says something about my feelings on the matter, but I know that for a lot of people, yes they are absolutely worth it. I cannot wait to be married to my amazing FI, but being married and having a stressful, expensive wedding are not synonymous.

Post # 10
896 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

@Carolsays:  No, i do not think they are worth it.  I have very little regret about my wedding (would have liked better photography), but I got married, including photography for about 3k, and it was lovely, and i did not feel like it was a waste of money.  We make a significant amount of money (top 10 percentile in the US– did not make nearly as much at the time of the wedding more than 4 years ago), and I can’t imagine spending 20, 30, 40k in a wedding.  For me, it is a very important day, but it is just one day.  I do not expect my wedding to be the best day of my life, and I just do not see the point of putting so many resources into it.  I rather travel, see the world, upgrade my home, save for retirement, all things which will last more than one day. 

I also did not have a bridal party, chose my dress on my own with my mother, and overall had a very stress-free planning period and wedding. 

Post # 11
8387 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@Carolsays:  For us, yes, totally worth it.  Our wedding was roughly 25% of our savings, so it didn’t drain us.  We had a small wedding party (2 on each side), a welcome dinner, wedding and a thank you brunch over 3 days for 50 guests.  I love DIY, so I didn’t have to deal with too many vendors and all of my flowers, decor, menus, programs, etc., only cost me $400.  Our biggest splurges were the alcohol for all 3 events, food and the photography.  To me, the wedding was just a big party weekend; I don’t see it as “the most important” day of my life.  I think the key is having a wedding that you can easily afford, and still have some savings left over.

Post # 12
1254 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I don’t know. We had a big ass wedding and even though it absolutely didn’t drain our savings, I sometimes wish it was just us and our families. I think it depends on the situation, but now that I have been married a year and a half, I can name so many things I would much rather spend money on than wedding. 

Post # 13
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

I enjoyed having everyone celebrate with us! But our wedding was only 4k, and we spent another 3K on our honeymoon! So the two-week vacation was just as important to us as the party!

Post # 14
2305 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

The logical, financially conservative side of me says absolutely not.

The illogical, girly, romantic side of me, who likes to watch our video and look at our pictures a couple of times a week (even 8 months later) and thinks about all the cute ‘oops’ moments from the day fondly, says yes, yes, YES.

I might have felt differently if there had been a lot of drama surrounding the day, though. Fortunately my mom helped with the planning a lot and most of our friends are pretty laid-back, so we didn’t have many issues. There was a little bit of drama over the wedding on DH’s side of the family, but we chose to ignore it/stay ouf of it and just enjoy our day.

Post # 15
3735 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@Carolsays:  I think that if BMs start being hard to work with, I’ll just ask them to leave the party. Honestly, I don’t want the drama and I really only wanted the B&G up there. I’m not anticipating many issues except maybe from one person but I’ll have FH make sure his grown daughter buys her dress and shows up.

We’re trying to keep it easy, breezy. I have tried to get FH to just marry me now but he wants a big party so I guess that’s what we’ll be doing!

Post # 16
1670 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Right now I’m saying ours will be worth it, but so far the stress level has been really low and I am letting my mother handle most of the details (I am one of those brides who really doesn’t care about the little stuff). She’s enjoying it and I haven’t stressed about it yet.

I think if it was putting us in the hole financially I would say no, that’s not worth it. I will love getting our families together for probably the only time EVER (he is from another country) so in that regard, worth it.

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