Are you a good friend?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Are you a good friend?
    Yes, without question. I would be my friend! Chicks before...well, you know : (25 votes)
    17 %
    No, I don't have enough time to dedicate to being a good friend : (3 votes)
    2 %
    I try to be and I am successful for the most part : (72 votes)
    49 %
    I try to be but it doesn't always work out that way : (34 votes)
    23 %
    I prefer to have casual friendships than deep ones - those are easy to maintain! : (10 votes)
    7 %
    I do not have any friends : (3 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 3
    2319 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I try to be a good friends and to see my local friends often. I try to be there for my friends as much as I can, but I also don’t have many friends who I let in to be extremely close.

    Post # 4
    7654 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2012

    @MrsPanda99:  I always try to be a good friend, but I am not afriad to tell my friends the honest to God truth, and that sometimes doesn’t sit well. Does that make me a bad friend? Well, in their eyes, but I like the honesty.

    One area I lack is checking in with my friends. I do not check in with my friends on a regular basis. One of my college friends got pissed that I never reached out to him. He was always calling me. Honestly, I felt smothered being called every few days just to chat. I didn’t do enough to make real conversation, so I didn’t feel the need to pester my friends on a weekly basis.

    So I try to be, and I succeed for the most part because I would do anything for my friends, but I could be better too.

    Post # 5
    5460 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I try, and mostly succeed.  I don’t go bar-hopping with my gal pals anymore, because, well… I’m 32 and have a baby!  I do still make an effort to spend time with my friends, go out for a bite & a drink, or meet up every now and then.

    But when it comes down to the wire, I will drop what I’m doing if you NEED me.  It was snowing, I was big-as-a-house pregnant, and I saw on Facebook that an acquaintance had passed away… this particular acquaintance was a very near and dear friend of my best friend.  I called BFF, and asked if she were ok.  All I heard on the other end was sobbing, so I threw on my boots and a sweatshirt (I was too fat for a coat!) and I told her I was on my way, and would be there in 8 minutes.  

    I went over, sat in her floor, and just hugged her for hours.  She didn’t need any words of wisdom or condolances, she needed to cry it out.  I was there for her, even when I didn’t know what to say.  I think that’s what matters.

    Post # 6
    9137 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

    I have a friend I have known for over 20 years but we only see each other once every few years since she moved out of state after high school graduation.  Other than that I really have trouble creating and maintaining relationships with other women.

    Post # 7
    4941 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I don’t have any local friends, and I only have about 3 really close friends. All are at least 1k miles away with my best friend being in Germany. I try really hard to be there as much as I can, but I’ll be the first to admit I sometimes neglect being their rock and supportive like I should be. However, if they ABSOLUTELY need me I will drop everything and do anything I can to help. Sometimes I feel so helpless because I’m so far away, but I’ve also figured out that just being there to listen and give advice is the best thing that I can do. 

    Post # 8
    3948 posts
    Honey bee

    I could improve.

    In my college years/early 20’s my life basically revolved around my friends. Through the years my priorities have shifted and I dont have the time that I used to. I try to keep in touch via email/phone, but I know I could do a better job.

    Post # 9
    649 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I’m an awesome friend to my best friend. I’m an OK friend to my other friends.  

    I am great at mentally texting/calling people back, but am bad at actually doing so. Some friends probably think I’m flakey for that reason. But I have good intentions! I’m working on it! I send birthday cards! I am present for special occasions and whatnot! I host game night! I’m a good listener!

    (I have a lot of guilt, apparently.)

    Post # 10
    2915 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

    I try to be, but I know I don’t make enough time. Before DH moved to the US I was always willing to hangout, up for anything, but since he has moved over we have a pretty tight weekday schedule, and we often have very busy weekends. I text with my 2 BFFs on a near daily basis, but other friends it is sporadic.

    Post # 11
    2973 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @MrsPanda99:  I won’t go out of my way to be anyone’s friend. But the friends I do have – one best friend, and others that I consider friends (and vice versa) even though we’re not local-  I love and respect as long as they do the same. 

    Overall, I try to be and I am successful for the most part.

    Post # 12
    6457 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I am an awesome friend to my the best friends. I make an effort to text/call them and hang out with them. Beyond that though no, I admittedly am not a great friend. I really dislike talking on the phone so I have to like a person a lot to keep in contact with them. This is probably why I have three best friends and then acquaintances, but I’m okay with that.

    Post # 13
    11668 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Yes I consider myself to be a good friend.  It’s part of the reason why I choose my friends very carefully and only have a few very close ones that I would drop everything to do anything for.

    I have never been happier in my life since I’ve decided who I allow into my life and who I choose to keep out.

    Post # 15
    2562 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    @MrsPanda99:  I think I am in a similar boat as you.

    I have very few friends, and  don’t always make the time for the ones I have. I don’t do well when I’m socially overloaded (which happens often with FI being so social) and tend to avoid making plans to keep myself from feeling out of my element (obviously I am intorverted)

    I feel that’s the main reason that I am probably not the best friend I could be.

    I do go out of my way for friends sometimes (jobs, resumes, moving help, presents), but lately have been cutting down on that… they are adults and I can’t fix their lives for them (but I can help a bit if they need it).

    I try to see it this way… how many times have I seen this person in the last year, and how much do I value their friendship? If the answer to that makes me uncomfortable, it probably means I need to spend more time with them. 🙁

    Post # 16
    5351 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2009

    I am dedicated to my friendships and try to be the best friend and support system that I can be. 

    One thing about me is that I RARELY argue with my friends. I have friends because they make me happy, give advice, and are someone to have fun with. I see arguing with your friends as a waste of time as they are supposed to be my escape from any other drama that may be happening. 

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