Post # 1
I know this is hard to answer objectively, but I am still curious how we perceive ourselves. When I was younger, I would have done anything for my friends. That has evolved now and I only have a few close people in my life besides my family. I will still go out of my way for those select few whenever possible and within reason. However, I will never put a friend before my husband or family. I also find it hard to make time for people. I am not sure if I am a good friend or not :-
I try to be. One of my friends needs a job and I have made calls to everyone I know to try and help her (I have contacts in the industry she wants to get into). However, making time to hang out more than twice a month doesn’t really happen. She gets it, and we do have good quality time together even though the quantity isn’t there anymore. I guess the question really is how important friendships are to you and how good you are at balancing it all.
Post # 3
I try to be a good friends and to see my local friends often. I try to be there for my friends as much as I can, but I also don’t have many friends who I let in to be extremely close.
Post # 4
@MrsPanda99: I always try to be a good friend, but I am not afriad to tell my friends the honest to God truth, and that sometimes doesn’t sit well. Does that make me a bad friend? Well, in their eyes, but I like the honesty.
One area I lack is checking in with my friends. I do not check in with my friends on a regular basis. One of my college friends got pissed that I never reached out to him. He was always calling me. Honestly, I felt smothered being called every few days just to chat. I didn’t do enough to make real conversation, so I didn’t feel the need to pester my friends on a weekly basis.
So I try to be, and I succeed for the most part because I would do anything for my friends, but I could be better too.
Post # 5
I try, and mostly succeed. I don’t go bar-hopping with my gal pals anymore, because, well… I’m 32 and have a baby! I do still make an effort to spend time with my friends, go out for a bite & a drink, or meet up every now and then.
But when it comes down to the wire, I will drop what I’m doing if you NEED me. It was snowing, I was big-as-a-house pregnant, and I saw on Facebook that an acquaintance had passed away… this particular acquaintance was a very near and dear friend of my best friend. I called BFF, and asked if she were ok. All I heard on the other end was sobbing, so I threw on my boots and a sweatshirt (I was too fat for a coat!) and I told her I was on my way, and would be there in 8 minutes.
I went over, sat in her floor, and just hugged her for hours. She didn’t need any words of wisdom or condolances, she needed to cry it out. I was there for her, even when I didn’t know what to say. I think that’s what matters.
Post # 6
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
I have a friend I have known for over 20 years but we only see each other once every few years since she moved out of state after high school graduation. Other than that I really have trouble creating and maintaining relationships with other women.
Post # 7
I don’t have any local friends, and I only have about 3 really close friends. All are at least 1k miles away with my best friend being in Germany. I try really hard to be there as much as I can, but I’ll be the first to admit I sometimes neglect being their rock and supportive like I should be. However, if they ABSOLUTELY need me I will drop everything and do anything I can to help. Sometimes I feel so helpless because I’m so far away, but I’ve also figured out that just being there to listen and give advice is the best thing that I can do.
Post # 8
I could improve.
In my college years/early 20’s my life basically revolved around my friends. Through the years my priorities have shifted and I dont have the time that I used to. I try to keep in touch via email/phone, but I know I could do a better job.
Post # 9
I’m an awesome friend to my best friend. I’m an OK friend to my other friends.
I am great at mentally texting/calling people back, but am bad at actually doing so. Some friends probably think I’m flakey for that reason. But I have good intentions! I’m working on it! I send birthday cards! I am present for special occasions and whatnot! I host game night! I’m a good listener!
(I have a lot of guilt, apparently.)
Post # 10
- Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas
I try to be, but I know I don’t make enough time. Before DH moved to the US I was always willing to hangout, up for anything, but since he has moved over we have a pretty tight weekday schedule, and we often have very busy weekends. I text with my 2 BFFs on a near daily basis, but other friends it is sporadic.
Post # 11
@MrsPanda99: I won’t go out of my way to be anyone’s friend. But the friends I do have – one best friend, and others that I consider friends (and vice versa) even though we’re not local- I love and respect as long as they do the same.
Overall, I try to be and I am successful for the most part.
Post # 12
I am an awesome friend to my the best friends. I make an effort to text/call them and hang out with them. Beyond that though no, I admittedly am not a great friend. I really dislike talking on the phone so I have to like a person a lot to keep in contact with them. This is probably why I have three best friends and then acquaintances, but I’m okay with that.
Post # 13
Yes I consider myself to be a good friend. It’s part of the reason why I choose my friends very carefully and only have a few very close ones that I would drop everything to do anything for.
I have never been happier in my life since I’ve decided who I allow into my life and who I choose to keep out.
Post # 14
@jackieee: LOL, that was a very cute response. In a perfect world, I would do a lot more. However, I have a big family and I am often busy with them. My husband and I have busy schedules and we don’t want to sacrifice any of our hobbies. It is a new phase of life from my school days and it just isn’t practical to have the same level of friendship that I had in the past.
Post # 15
@MrsPanda99: I think I am in a similar boat as you.
I have very few friends, and don’t always make the time for the ones I have. I don’t do well when I’m socially overloaded (which happens often with FI being so social) and tend to avoid making plans to keep myself from feeling out of my element (obviously I am intorverted)
I feel that’s the main reason that I am probably not the best friend I could be.
I do go out of my way for friends sometimes (jobs, resumes, moving help, presents), but lately have been cutting down on that… they are adults and I can’t fix their lives for them (but I can help a bit if they need it).
I try to see it this way… how many times have I seen this person in the last year, and how much do I value their friendship? If the answer to that makes me uncomfortable, it probably means I need to spend more time with them. 🙁
Post # 16
I am dedicated to my friendships and try to be the best friend and support system that I can be.
One thing about me is that I RARELY argue with my friends. I have friends because they make me happy, give advice, and are someone to have fun with. I see arguing with your friends as a waste of time as they are supposed to be my escape from any other drama that may be happening.