I know. Random downer poll... but it's been on my mind a LOT lately as my great grandmother (yes...great grandmother...she's 99) is getting closer and closer to that time. And since my grandmother was diagnosed with incurable cancer.
Are you afraid of death or dying?
Why or why not?
What do you think happens when you die?
I put "slightly afraid" because I don't worry or think about it on a daily basis. I don't think anything happens when you die: atheist!
I am more afraid of other people like my parents and FI dying.
Edit: I think we go to some kind of heaven. Meet up with our loved ones who have passed.
I am not afraid of death. I enjoy my life and everything in it but I know that all things die. I believe in the afterlife (heaven and hell) but have no concept of what those "places" will be like, nor do I really care since its not as if I can change it! I also accept that if my entire faith system has been false and there is no afterlife, I would rot in a hole in the ground and that would be okay; I still wouldn't change my beliefs while I am living.
I'm afraid of dying!!!! I'm such a hypochondriac...i'm petrifide...but I don't let it ruin my quality of life and I don't really act on it or tell anyone, I just have anxiety about it!
It's crazy, we're ALL going to die...I guess that's what makes it easier to handle....celebrities, rich and poor....we're all going to pass one day...it's just who will first...when?
Uhk crazy subject!
To answer your question about what you think happens...I really don't know...but I would hope there is an afterlife and we move on with who we were close with...
A part of me thinks we just end up being part of the Earth.... :/
I'm not afraid to die at all. I know where I am going - so there is no fear. I am, however, afraid for the people that I would be leaving behind. I know that my mother would not cope well.
I'm not afraid my grandfather will die...I know he will, and I am upset that that is true...but it is true. For myself, I know I will die someday. I would hate for that to happen before I'm old, because I don't want my fiance/husband and future family to have to go through that.
I don't really think about what happens after we die.
Not really, I work on a hospice unit while going through D. school and I see death as a mostly peaceful experience. I'm religious and I believe that dying isn't the "end". I'm not quite decided on what happens to our soul once we die - but I like to think our soul/spirit can fluctuate between Heaven or allow us to be present with our loved ones in the physical world.
So, I'm not fearful of dying or the dying process. I'm more worried of something such as dementia, where I'm not longer myself and don't recognize my loved ones. I'd 1000 times over rather have cancer than dementia.
I try not to think about it too often. I wouldn't say I'm scared of the actual death, but more the idea that no one can ever know for certain what, if anything, happens next. I'm not religious, so I don't think there's anything waiting for me after death. I didn't exist for millions of years before I was born and it was fine, so not existing after death will probably be a-ok, too.
I'm not afraid of death or dying at all. This is because I know exactly where I'm going when I die. I believe in Heaven and Hell.
Afraid... Nope, not really.
After I hit 50, life changed a lot... it is like the "warranty" begins to expire on people.
In my case, a bunch of aches & pains etc.
BUT for a lot of my friends... end of the line.
Losing friends when they are sooo young (40s, 50s and 60s) is very very sad.
But it has also made me realize that our time here is pretty finite... and there are no guarantees. So I now live my life knowing that today could be the last day... means I work harder at my loving relationships & friendships.
I would have to say I am not afraid, because I've seen so much of death in the last 10 years...
Besides by the time my number is up... I figure there will be more "friends & family" on the other side than on this one... so not that scarey at all.
(Doesn't mean tho that I don't think about how painful my passing will be on others that are left behind to miss me... that makes me sad for sure... as a Mother, Lover and Friend. BUT overall I've just come to grips with the whole cycle of life... as they say... "To everything there is a Season", I am most certainly in the Late Summer - Early Fall of my life now)
I'm not afraid of death, but I hope it's not a painful one!
I believe in heaven and hell as far as what happens after death is concerned.
@BellaDee: exactly this! when I feel my anxiety about death getting out of control I just remind myself no one escapes it. Doesnt matter how pretty you are or how rich you are how famous you are etc. EVERYONE has the same fate when it comes to this. We will all have our time and so in that I find comfort. I think what trips me out the most is that Life will go on. Like 50 years after im gone the world will (most likely) still be here with a whole new generation of people, living life, and repeating the cycle. It's insane when I really let myself think about it all.
Only a horrible, drawn-out, months-long death like from cancer. I'm all good with the gunshot type death. I am confident that my little slice of consciousness will lose its boundaries/sense of self and re-merge with the universe, like it was before "I" was born.
But yeah, cancer really scares me.
I'm also odd in that I think about death frequently (everyone's, not just my own. Our mortality). It isnlt something I think I shoud avoid thinking about and I am not a depressed person, I am actually somewhat more happy (in a calm way) than average.
I think being dead is like being asleep - you have no memory, you have no consciousness, just nothing. I'm not afraid of dying, I'm afraid of not achieving what I wanted to achieve before dying.
I never was before but after I had my son I started to become more afraid of leaving him behind at some point. I just don't ever want him to hurt for one single second. I've always been a little scared of the unknown so the thought of death shakes me but I believe no one can know what happens until were gone so why fear the inevitable?
I just hope I go quickly and not a painful drawn out death my family and I have to suffer through.
I'm very afraid. I think I'm most afraid of the idea of there being nothing after this life. Or being buried and that being it...my soul is buried and I just lay there for eternity in a box...
I guess I just can't come to the determination that there is a definite end. I'm not religious, but I can see why the idea is appealing. But I also don't want to kid myself (personal belief - not attacking anyone) with ideas of grandeour like walking on clouds and being with my family that has already passed.
@stardustintheeyes: Exactly! I think the same! I also have to remind myself of that too...but it does suck knowing the world will keep living without us!
I am not afraid of death or dying, but I AM afraid of not doing all the things I want to before I die.
More than death or dying, I am afraid of living a sad, lonely, repressed, or oppressed life, or living in pain, or having a very painful death.
I do not believe there is anything after death - or rather, I believe that if there is anything, it is pointless to worry about what it might be.
I used to be very religious, and I was very afraid of death back then, espcially as a child, wondering how God might judge me after death, and always felt so sad thinking about all the poor souls my pastors and parents believe would be in hell.
I am afraid of painful death - like rape/torture/murder types. But die in my sleep is the way I would like to go, then I won't know!
I'm afraid of dying ina painful or tragic way. But because I work in a nursing home full of barely-living elderLy people (feeding tubes, can't move, can't communicate), I wouldn't want to die in that condition either. Im also afraid of outliving my FI because I love him so much my heart literally aches in a good way every time I see him, and I feel that ache would be so much more painful if he passes on before me.
So yeah I guess I'm afraid.
Edit: has anyone seen that one old gory picture of a tragic car accident that decapitated a bride and she's still in her wedding dress and the groom is screaming in horror looking at her? I've had nightmares about that tragic couple since before I even met my FI and they happen more often now. :(
I'm not afraid of the knowledge that one day I will die, more of what will happen wih my loved ones after. I don't believe in an afterlife.
@happyface: I used to think I wanted to die in my sleep...I still do, under the condition that I knew I was going to die in the near future (because of an illness/ailment) and that I was able to say goodbye to my family properly, and finish unfinished business or atleast attempt to!
Terrified. And honestly when I let myself think about it I have a panic attack. Because I don't KNOW what happens..... it might just be nothing.
I'm only afraid of leaving my kids before they are truly able to take care of themselves. Dying makes me sad, but not afraid.
@CindyRelly: same...I think I might not be able to follow this thread much longer...sooooo yeah haha
ps- I honestly wish I hadn't seen this thread today. It's the 2 year anniversary of my paternal grandmother's death today, and tomorrow is the 1st anniversary of my maternal grandmother's death. I came to the bee to distract myself.
I am afraid of dying and leaving loved ones behind, such as FH and any future children :'(
I'm afraid of my loved ones dying. Extremely afraid. I have nightmares all the time about my SO getting into a car accident and dying :(
I love the idea of an afterlife. It would/will be amazing! But if there isn't one, I do believe that all souls reincarnate. No matter your beliefs you cannot say that you don't reincarnate into something: grass, flowers, trees,... clay. Whatever you become, you become. I love the idea of that. Being human is only one cycle of my being.
I am afraid of dying though -- dying young. My father died only one year older than I am now (or maybe he was the same age...?). Our (FI's and my) ideal scenario for death is when we've been together 50+ plus years, we've spent many hours playing spades on our front porch, and our rocking chairs are worn out. Sounds amazing! And I'm sure we're going to be like PROFESSIONAL spades players by then; we're already pretty amazing and with 50 more years practice we'll be able to stomp everyone in our path!
What scares me the most about death is how easily and unexpectedly it can happen.
I think everyone's perspective on death changes in accordance with who they have lost. For example, when a grandmother or grandfather passes, you see it more as a natural progression of life. However, if you lose your mother or father, you have to face the reality that you're next in line, like it or not.
I am, to an extent, but I guess it would depend on how I go. For example: My grandmother passed away last Monday. She went into the hospital 4 weeks ago with some weird medical conditions, was diagnosed with lung cancer that had metastasized throughout her entire body 3 days before she passed and eventually drifted off to sleep in her own home, painless and surrounded by her family and friends. If you’re gonna go, that’s how you should do it. She didn’t have to face the misery that so many cancer patients deal with at the end. She was kept comfortable the entire time that she was hospitalized and prior to that, she lived a healthy life. It was as quick and as painless as possible. I don’t fear that kind of death. Unfortunately, very few people get to go out like that. For so many, death involves suffering and fear.
I’m more afraid of losing my loved ones. When my grandmother passed, that was hard but grandparents are *supposed* to die eventually (even though she was only 72). I don’t think I’ll be able to handle it when I lose my mom. I can’t even think about it without getting upset. Same goes for my husband. I’d much rather die before either of them but then they’d have to deal with the pain of losing me. Death is a real bitch.
As for what happens, I’m an atheist so… nothing. I plan to be cremated since I personally find the thought of being buried to be ridiculous. It shouldn’t cost as much as it does to be shoved in a box and put in the ground. Neither option (burial or cremation) is overly glamorous but I’m content going the ash route. What my family chooses to do with my remains after I’m gone is up to them. If someone wants to put me on the mantle, okay. If they want to spread me across the highest peak of Mt. Whatever, that’s cool too.
I am not afraid of dying... i hear PP about dementia and/or alzhimers is a horrible drawn out, way to go. but i am more worried about going from cancer. They say you are stronger than you think you are. This is a fact. In the past year i have handled more heavy stuff that most people my age and the saying if it doesn't kill you it only makes you stronger is true. Being so sick 3 weeks after my wedding in the hosptial and not really seeing an end in sight was horrendous... losing my mom in the summer was life altering... but i know she is up in heaven and when its my time i will get to see her again. and i'm pretty sure shes watching over me every day as my guardian angel to make sure i have all the time i'm supposed to here.
@BellaDee: WOW you and me both sister im so afraid of death of suffering and of leaving my child behind. but i do believe theres a wonderful place called heaven where all our loved one are waiting to meet with us. illness and sickness scare me the most. i just pray in jesus name that when its my time i dont suffer and go in my sleep or something peacefully go to heaven and my loved ones ; )
I think I'm more concerned about aging than death. Aging seems like the thing that sucks the life out of you - while death is the release from the aging process.
That said, I don't want to die by fire or bleeding slowly to death... but, at that point, it's not like it would be avoidable!
@oracle: i hear you on the aging part! being that i'm only 29 and found 4 greys just yesterday!! Ahhhh
@This Time Round: you made me cry ; ( but what you said is so beautiful and true.
im turning 40 and im very depressed over aging and death just getting older scares me.
but the way you look at it is so beautiful. blessings, love and light to all of us!
feels like yeaterday i was just 20 years old. and i hear you on the achs and pains lol
I'm afraid of dying in the sense that it could very well be painful and tramatic, but being dead, no. Nothing happens. I'll just cease to exist as far as I am concerned.
I'm more afraid of becoming something of an empty shell in my old age. Having volunteered at nursing homes, it breaks me heart to see so many people waiting for death. They have nothing else to live for - family hardly visits, are not physically capably of taking care of themselves, or mentally they are too far gone. I would hate for that to happen to me.
I hope I die old and wrinkled in my sleep after kicking ass that day.
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