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I've recently come to realize that there is a good chance that neither my brother nor my SO's brother will ever have kids ... so I may never get to be an aunt. Anyone else in the same boat? I'm sad that I may miss out on this... my friends who are aunts/uncles seem to have a lot of fun with it, without the huge responsibility of being a mom/dad.
I'm also curious- did becoming an aunt affect how you felt about having children? Did it make you want kids more, or did it make you feel less of a need for them? Or has NOT getting to be an aunt affected how you feel about having your own children?
I've actually never felt a huge need to have children of my own (and have actually been kindof ambivalent about it), but thinking about never becoming an aunt either, makes me a little sad, and has caused me to think more seriously that maybe having my own kids is/will be important to me.
I have a nephew , but I became an aunt at an age where I really didnt care to become an aunt. I feel bad now that I missed out on some of my nephews milestones because I was just "too young to care" but I have been catching up the past few years.
I am technically by law an aunt to 5 children. However neither DH or I have any real relationship with those kids, we tried for years. Their parents don't even have them call my DH Uncle. I do however have 6 younger cousins (my cousin's kids) and I love so much. I am able to watch them, taking them on outings, and just have fun watching them grow up. These kids do make DH and I want children.
Eh, sort of? Fiance's brother has kids. My sister will most likely not have any. So, when I get married I will be an Aunt In Law LOL does that count?
I am an aunt to 2 nephews and a niece. They are basically my children. I do love to spoil them but they get away with less being with us than anyone else in our family. Being an aunt makes me want to have children for a lot of reasons. I want to have cousins for my nephews and niece. I want my sister and my SO's sister to have the chance to be aunts as well. I want my SO's parents to have the chance to be grandparents. But I've always wanted to be a parent so those are just added bonuses to why I want to be a parent. It teaches you more than you ever thought it would about being a parent yourself and about your sibling as a parent.
@futureMrsCPT: Yep I think that counts! (I consider my mom's sister's husband an uncle, and that's kind of the same thing)
Yes I am aunt, but in all reality out of all the kids that I am aunt to, I am closest to my niece who lives in IL. She is my brothers child and long story short my brother has nothing to do with her. My parents and I do though and she comes up to MN every summer to visit.
My DH has nieces and nephews that now are mine also by marriage. Though I really don't think of them that way yet.
I am "auntie" to my best friend's little girl, and my SIL is expecting a baby in the spring.
DH's sister has a little boy, so I'm his aunt (in law). Since DH has 4 siblings, I'll probably have lots of nieces and nephews. My brother probably won't have kids though.
Being an aunt really drove home all the criticisms parents receive these days. I find myself thinking "I'd never raise our kids this way" but stop myself from saying anything because you never know! And I don't want DH's sister to be able to say "I told you so".
I have 1 niece and 2 nephews, and after I get married I will have an additional 2 nieces and 3 nephews! So yes, I am an Aunt. :)
I love being an Aunt, it has definitely affected my want/need to have children. My sister had her first when I was only 16 (she's 6 years older than me) so back then it was just a big reminder to NOT have kids for a LONG time. But now that I'm older and she now has 3 kids I really look forward to having my own. It's a really great feeling and a really strong bond not only to your sibling but to the child as well. Now, with FI's nieces and nephews it's a bit harder to feel that bond, it's getting there... But FI was married before so I don't really feel like I'm their "aunt" they had an aunt basically from the time they were born and they are older now (the youngest being the same age as my oldest niece)... and we live 5 hours away from them so we don't see them too often which makes it hard to feel like their Aunt... And I try not to push it with them... I plan on being in their lives for a long time so we'll get there when they are ready to accept me as their Aunt.
That said, if I didn't have any nieces or nephews I wouldn't know what I was missing so it would be a non-issue. Try not to get too down about it... and maybe you having kids would make your siblings think about having kids one day.
I do not have siblings, so I was always worried I would never get to be an aunt either. Lucky for me, my husband has three siblings. His sister has a 2 year old son and a daughter on the way (who will be less than 6 months younger than our daughter, yay!), and his brother has a 4 year old son and his wife has two older kids (6&7) from a previous relationship that we consider family. His youngest brother does not have children and may never have his own, but he is seriously dating a woman with a child and we all think they'll get married, so we have lots of kids running around at family functions.
Since I wasn't technically an aunt until I got married there hasn't been a huge lapse of time between becoming an aunt and becoming a mom, and I don't think being one really affected being the other. I will say that because we watched my 2 year old nephew so much last year, for extended periods of time, I didn't underestimate the amount of energy watching my own kid can take. But it didn't change my mind at all- I always knew I wanted kids.
Altogether I have 3 nephews, 3 nieces, and another one on the way. I don't get to see them as much as I would like since they all live far away. But when I do get to see them, I LOVE spoiling them and playing with them. They're all less than 5 years old.
It really does make my baby fever worse, though. The newest niece was only six weeks old when we got to see her and I would gladly have taken her home with me. LOL
Between me and DH we have 9 nephews and 5 nieces. (Note: some of the nieces are technically step-nieces, but that's really just details). I didn't care much about being an aunt for a long time--I was 14 when the oldest was born, and then I lived far away from all of them. I still haven't met about half of them.
But about 5 years ago I was able to be close to two of my (step) nieces, and it did change my outlook about having kids. I was pretty ambivalent about it for most of my life, but getting to be a part of their lives, and watching and helping them grow up made me yearn for my own children. And when it was taking us a long time to get pregnant, I was able to take comfort in being a secondary parent to them (we're living with them at the moment).
But on the other hand, the newphews on DH's side sometimes make me rethink it, becaue they're 5-7, and there are four of them, and they are super-rambunctious, and I wonder how I'll be able to keep up with a little kid :)
@peaches13: Ooh, that's sweet! I would love if at some point I could be involved with a friend's child to the point that he/she thought of me as auntie!
That's interesting to hear that some posters feel differently to their FI/DH's nieces/nephews ... like you're not "as much" of an aunt to them. I wonder if that's different in cases where the baby was born when you were already married?
My sister has a 1 year old daughter, I love her to pieces. I have a lot of cousins who also have kids so I have 10 nieces and nephews related that way. I always loved kids, always wanted kids. Spending a weekend at my sister's house with my 1 niece 24/7 made me realize I may not be able to handle more than 1 kid! LOL. Having my cousins and their kids come over made me realize I'm definitely not having more than 1 kid! LOL. DH isn't too thrilled about that, but I told him we can see how 1 kid goes. Kids are exhausting!!
I am an actual aunt to my sister's child but I never see him. My sister and I have never been close and she has lived 500-2500 miles away since I was about 17. So, I really don't get to have that bond with him. However, I am considered an aunt to my best friend's son. I'm his godmother but I have more of an aunt/nephew relationship with him. He is one year (almost to the day) younger than my son and I usually do for him the same things I do for my own. So, you don't have to have a blood relationship to have that bond with a child!
Both of my SIL's have kids, so I have 2 nieces and 2 nephews. Not sure if either of my siblings will have kids, but at least I have them!
Well, I'm an only child, so none of my siblings will have kids ;) FI's got a sister, I have no idea if she wants kids or not in the future. She likes them so my guess would be in the future I will, but who knows?
I just recently became an Aunt and I'm in LOVE with my adorable niece who will be our flower baby.
Before she was born it really didn't matter to me if my siblings were going to have kids. Now that I have a niece it hasn't made me want kids more or less. However, knowing that I will have a huge influence on her growth & development has made me think about how Fiancé and I will raise our future children.
I am an aunt, and I love it! I've been one since I was a freshman in college, so for a little over 7 years. Right now I am an aunt to three, my SIL is due any day now with #4 and my other SIL is due this spring. My SO has a nephew, so whenever we get married I'll be his aunt too!
I love spoiling the kids and then *usually* when a diaper needs changing or a boo boo needs fixing....I can turn them back to their parents!
I have one brother, and my husband has one sister, so while we'll probably have some nieces or nephews at some point...it won't be many, and it won't be soon.
I wasn't until 3 weeks ago, when we got married! Now I'm an aunt to DH's nephews who are 7 and 12. DH is 16 years younger than his sister, so he's always been the "fun" uncle...hopefully I'll be a fun aunt, too!
FI is an only child and my sister is adamantly against reproducing, though she is only 20. I'm so bummed because my cousins were a huge part of my childhood and I wish my eventual kids could have that.
I have 5 nieces, 3 nephews, 2 great nieces and a great nephew. Some of my nieces and nephews are pretty close to my age so they were more like have little brother's and sisters.
I couldn't love these kids more than if they were my own. I spend alot of time with them tho, I see most of them at least a few times a week. I take some of them to their dance classes, soccer practices and the one that just passed her driver's test I taught how to drive. I'm not very close at all with my aunt's and uncles and I always wished I had been.
EDIT*** I forgot, in March I'll have two more nieces!
No - my sister is 20, my brother is 15, and DH's sister is 22. No kids in our future.
@redheadem: 20 is pretty young... she could definitely change her mind! I was "adamantly against reproducing" when I was 20. My brother is 35, and while guys certainly have more time, there's still a good chance it won't happen!
I have one niece that's 5. I've never wanted kids and I just turned 30, so was about 25 when my niece was born. She's cute and all, but honestly it didn't make me want kids in the least or change my views at all. And I feel like my sister gets soooooooooo wrapped up in having her daughter in so many activities (ballet, ice skating, plays, etc) that I now hardly ever see either one of them. My sister lives only an hour away from me and our parents, but she always says she doesn't have time to get together because there's just "too much going on." So sadly, I feel like my sister is more distant than ever and I never really developed a bond with my niece anyway.
I’m an only child but DH’s brother and his wife just had a baby a few months ago so technically I am an aunt. I’m not really a fan of babies/children in general and my opinion hasn’t changed since becoming an aunt. My niece is still in that kinda useless stage where all she does is eat, sleep and shit so I’ve yet to really be impressed with anything that children/parenthood has to offer. Actually, seeing what my BIL & SIL have to deal with kinda makes me want to have children even less.
For the longest time I swore that I would never have kids but that’s changed only because it’s important to DH. If I had married someone who didn’t really care to have children then I would have been perfectly fine being a DINK forever. Maybe my opinion will change when she’s older and less needy but as of now, she just seems like a lot of work and that’s not exactly something that I’m looking for right now (or in the near future).
I LOVE this post as I am "Auntie" to 1 niece (5) and 1 nephew (3). I am positively in love with them and feel they have been a blessing in my life. I ahave to admit I spoil then rotten and have a wonderful relationship with them. My husband and I do not have chiodren together and at this point not sure if we willbe able to. I can say that prior to my niece being born I had no interest in children now I would like to have a child ....so I say it's their fault... hehehe. I have been very involved in babysitting them lots of dirty diapers, baths' kissing boo boos and such undr my belt. OK... I realy am missing them now boo hoo!
I am actually an aunt-in-waiting!
DH's brother and wife are expecting in just over a month. I will actually be the only aunt until other males get married.
I'll probably end up being an aunt multiple times over - DH has two brothers, and I have three younger siblings who will likely end up having children.
Not an aunt... And probably never will be. :( I told all of my friends that I want their kids to call me Auntie Tina, just so I can be an aunt to someone. I have a brother who won't be having children and FI has a sister. Not sure if she's going to have kids, it doesn't seem like it... but she is still young, so I guess there is hope for her! :D
FI and I will almost certainly be the first among our siblings to have children. Both his sister and brother will probably have kids one day, but both of them are currently single. I really wonder if my brother will ever spawn. I guess being an aunt won't really affect whether or not I have kids, since I won't be an aunt until after I'm already a mother.
@UpstateCait: I always wondered how my feelings on kids could shift if I became an aunt. But maybe they won't?
Im an aunt to my sisters sonand my SIL daughter.. i love them very much its so much fun to have them you get to spoil them then return them to their parents. my sister always claimed she would never have children well that went out the window. But it has not effected our choice to have children. We want children eventually and we love our neice and nephew but its those temper tantrums and all that stuff that make us want to wait. so dont worry maybe your brother and his wife will want to have kids one day, like my sister suddenly changed her mind
I'm an aunt and I love it! My niece is 2.5 and def makes me want a baby, she's pretty incredible. Dh and I are about to go visit her for a week and I hope she has the same effect on him/makes him start thinking about ttc. He hasn't spent as much time with her as I have just bc it's hard for us to both travel at the same time usually and we don't live nearby
I'm not an aunt yet. DH is an only child and I have one sister. My sister is my only chance at being an aunt, but she's 19, so I have a feeling I'm going to be waiting awhile!
No nephews or nieces that are actually blood-related but DH has 2 nephews and so I'm their aunt (in law :)). They're 2 and 5 and I absolutely adore them. I've always wanted kids but seeing DH with them and how fantastic he is makes me want to have his children even more!
Neither of my brothers have kids, but Dhs siblings do and they are very much MY nieces and nephews.
I have 3 nephews (age 4.5, 1 year and 9 months) and 2 nieces (age 6 and age 2.5)
I love them all so so much! I would definitely be bummed if my brothers never had kids though. I think there will be something awesome about being a biological aunt!
Well i'm an Aunt in law. My DH has 6 nieces. but the youngest is 14. so...it's not really the same. it's not like we have little kids running around. most of the time they dont want to be hanging out with us anyways :)
I'm not sure if i will get to be on from my sibilings. My sister is 2 years older but is no where near ready to be having kids. She's in LA doing to show business thing and gets to travel the world-so having kids isnt even on her list right now.
My little brother had testicular cancer and with the chemo and the fact that well, it's testicular cancer he might not be able to have kids. He's got some "boys" at the bank-but you just never know with that stuff.
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