Are you and your SO the same religion, and is it a factor in your relationship?

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 3
Member
8593 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

We are both the same, agnostic/athiest.  I could never have dated, let alone married, someone who had strong religious beliefs.  Just wouldn’t have worked out from the beginning because I would guess that we’d have completely opposite viewpoints on many other things in life as well.  Now if they weren’t completely different beliefs, but more of different viewpoints on certain things…obviously I could work with that. 

So no conflict here because we have pretty much the same beliefs.

Post # 4
Member
1241 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

My SO is Catholic, I’m Methodist. It’s made for some interesting talks concerning the future, given that I’m also divorced. Religion doesn’t really come into talks much between us. We’ve had basic belief discussions and we are pretty in line with those, although sometimes we disagree on bigger issues, we just have learned to let it go as generally those issues aren’t something that affects (effects?) us directly.

The only current conflict that’s ongoing is the annulment issue. I refuse to start the process without an e-ring, and when I lay out for him what it takes, he generally drops it. A few months later he’ll bring it up again. I’m sticking to my guns though, if he and I don’t get married, then I won’t marry anyone, and I don’t see the need for the annulment. (This is my view and your mileage may vary)

I’ve never specifically searched out someone that was the same religion as I am, and I’ve never sought to convert a boyfriend to my religion. Families were never involved in that sense either, although I will say that my family was happy I chose someone with faith.

Post # 5
Member
8425 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

My husband was raised Catholic but isn’t, I’m more into the Tao, so it works out for us.  I think some beliefs pair well with others (similar morals/lifestyles) while others don’t.  We don’t plan on having children though, so the “how to raise” them issue doesn’t come up.

Post # 6
Member
2320 posts
Buzzing bee

@Aquaria:  My DH is Catholic and I’m mixed between my Methodist mother, and my Jewish father. Neither of us practice either religion, so it’s really a non-issue. When my parents were married, I know they had a very hard time as my dad’s temple was not supportive of him marrying outside the religion, and it caused him to really break away from practicing.

Post # 7
Member
3237 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Yes, my husband and I share the same beliefs. I could not have married someone who didn’t believe in God. He didn’t have a whole lot of faith when we started dating but it has grown into much more than I ever thought it would. It was very important to me that my spouse had a personal relationship with Jesus.

Post # 8
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

We are both agnostic, so it’s not a factor in our relationship. I would never be with someone who was religious because that is not how I want to raise my kids, and it is not something I want in my life. It is too big of an issue to ignore. Luckily it’s not an issue for us, but I can see how it could be one for others.

Post # 9
Member
1254 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

If husband was religious, we would have never gotten together, let alone marry each other. It just simply could not have worked out! Thankfully, we are both atheists and have the same political views. Otherwise, I feel like we would have been disagreeing on a lot of things that are important to us and that would have been no good. 

Post # 10
Member
1580 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Country Club

My husband is an athiest and I am not. I am not really sure WHAT I believe, but I know that I believe in a God. It doesn’t effect our relationship.

Post # 11
Member
1670 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

He is Catholic, I’m protestant. There are enough similarities that we are comfortable with it. We’re going to raise our children prostestant, but send them to catholic school if we can (oddly, I went to Catholic school)

We’re not too fussed about it as we agree on most of the major things. We’re not getting married in the catholic church either, though we may have the marriage convalidated later to make his mother more comfortable.

I’m fairly religious and so is he, I’m not sure I could have married a non-christian and I don’t think he could have either.

Post # 12
Member
4395 posts
Honey bee

We’re both atheist, and since we both think religion is ridiculous, I don’t think either of us could have married a theist. 

Post # 13
Member
5285 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@Aquaria: I’m Catholic my husband is Muslim. I dont plan on converting and he doesnt expect me too. We have decided that if we have children then the will be raised muslim as I dont practice my religion very much. We still celebrate Christmas together and when we got together it was his first time having a Christmas tree ever and he loved it. Our different religions dont effect our relationship at all.

Post # 14
Member
4474 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

My husband and I have the exact same religious beliefs and I sought that out. I could never marry someone, build a life, raise kids and have a foundation with someone that didn’t because I am orthodox in my religion. Therefore, religion informs a lot of my choices and decisions, and my day-to-day life. 

Post # 15
Member
112 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

My SO is a catholic, not a super strict one but definitely strong in his beliefs. I am not religious, though I grew up in a very catholic enviroment. At first it caused no drama between the two of us. I went to church with him a few times after we started dating, He was a youth group leader and going to church wasn’t a mandatory every sunday type thing but if he had the chance he would go –  We were roommates before we started dating so we just happened to live together while we were dating. The church got news of this and ended up kicking him out of the youth group leadership role, said it was unfair to the children.  He never once mentioned me or our situation to the children but a little old lady found out we were dating and caused a riot the priest had no choice. They said he could come back if we broke up or got married. That caused a bit of drama, I even offered to marry him, you know.. anything for him! lol 

Now we only disagree on little things, but I think my non-religious attitude is starting to grow on him.

Post # 16
Member
2766 posts
Sugar bee

I am agnostic, my SO is secular Jewish. It’s only a factor in our relationship so far as me learning about the different holidays he observes and certain customs I was previously unfamiliar with. He does want his children to be raised Jewish, but I am okay with that so long as they are presented with alternative views/not told that is the ONLY way to live.

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