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posted 2 years ago in Relationships
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    writerchick324    n/a   Skagit County, WA

    To your BF, FI or Hubby as you have been with other guys? For some reason, I feel like EVERY time I look at my bf, I find him so dashingly handsome I want to jump him. I find him so attractive ALL THE TIME that it weirds me out! He can be dirty and sweaty and stinky from work, and I will still think he looks HOT. I guess he just has a look about him. I was just "used to" my exes, didn't think about it. But with him, I can barely keep my hands off him, even in the store! I feel so clingy since i find him so attractive. But lucky for me, he is just as clingy! Constantly pulling me to him if I start to walk away, and is always asking at night, "Why aren't you cuddling with me?" in a cute voice.

    Is this normal? To feel SO attracted to your guy, even when he probably looks dirty or even normal to other people?

     
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    Kittyachi    August 2010   New York

    I have to admit that no, I'm not as attracted to my FI as I have been to an ex of mine. HOWEVER, before everyone starts ripping me a new one, let me explain... With the ex in question, the relationship was based pretty much just on that sexual chemistry - there was no future there or really anything of substance to the relationship that would make it last in this or any other universe. So, while I'm not as attracted to my FI as I was to said ex, my feelings for FI go so so so much deeper and are so much more meaningful that the sexual chemistry (and don't get me wrong - it's definitely THERE) is not nearly as important to me as the love I have for him and that he has for me.

    FI is really quite sexy, though... Now I want to go home ;)

     
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    writerchick324    n/a   Skagit County, WA

    HA HA HA! That was funny Kittyachi! I know, I totally understand your point. I have been with guys and have had that high sexual chemistry, but finding the love for someone is much more. And I have found that over time, I had begun finding him more and more attractive. First, it was for the sex-lol. We both had been getting little to none from our exes and found we were very charged people! After letting that steam out, and really dating and falling in love with each other, I have found that I find him more and more attractive every day! Luckily my jealousy isn't TOO bad (can be at times) but I guess...I FREAKING LOVE HIM! ha ha ha, and yeah, he is just as weird as I am. ;)

     
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    CorgiTales    February 1, 2011  

    I am really lucky I think that my current guy is (I think) by far the most attractive guy I've ever dated! I've been with him about 2.5 years and still sometimes I look at him (especially right after a haircut!) and think wow... he's dating me? seriously?

     
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    MrsSl82be    October 24, 2009  

    Yeah, I think my FI is HAWT, I still get butterflies in my stomach when he walks into the room!  And we were friends for a while before we started dating, and I didn't find him remotely attractive. But then one day I saw him in a whole new light, and yes we're the same, we can't keep our hands off each other sometimes!!! I love the fact that we're so into each other though, it makes for some very interesting and impromptu conversations and sack sessions EmbarassedSealed

     
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    melodicsighs1    May 22, 2010   San Diego

    I sometimes think I'm more attracted physically to my guy than he is to me. This may not actually be true, but I definitely have the whole "I can't keep my hands off you / I want to jump you right now" moments more than he does - maybe it's just cause he's more reasonable and has more self-control haha.

    I think I'm more attracted to him than my ex, but I think this is mostly just because we have so much more of a deep connection. With my ex, we were in high school and were constantly plotting to get to the next point where we'd be alone and could make out or whatnot, but it wasn't the same attraction as when I look at my guy now and know that we have our entire lives ahead together and that we share so much so deeply, you know?

     
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    fippiebride    8-9-09   Brooklyn, NY

    you know what's weird...even though i've always found by husband handsome (still SO WEIRD to say that btw), since the wedding i've been like 10 times more attracted to him.  everytime i look at him i just think (and sometimes say outloud) how darn cute, or hot, or sexy he is.  maybe it has something to do with the stress of the wedding no longer showing on his face... or clouding my perception :)

     
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    Miss Chapstick    September 2009  

    I'm definitely more attracted to my FI than any other guy, but honestly, I think that has a lot to do with our strong emotional connection. I've always been that girl who can't really fully find someone attractive unless I truly love their personality (I swear, I'm not a story book princess, either). I have the strongest connection with my FI and I think that adds to my physical attraction for him (which has always been strong, but gotten stronger over the years).

    Maybe that's the same for you :)

     
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    Karma007    10/10/2009   Bay Area

    FI and met years ago then lost touch; even while I was married to someone else, it was FI's sexy voice in my head, along with those blue, blue eyes. I have never met a sexier man. When we reunited, he almost didn't come, embarrased with some weight he had gained. I never even saw it, and since I came back, he's lost 30lbs!

     
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    Akennedy01    September 24, 2011   KY

    Yes, definitely. My SO is the most handsome man I've ever met. I'm like Miss Chapstick, I have to love the personality in order to find them attractive. But oh man, every time he smiles... I just want to jump him! lol

     
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    Querida       Sugar Land, TX

    For me, the physical attraction comes from who he is. 

    Yes he's handsome, and I've been as attracted to an ex in the sense that kittyachi mentioned, BUT...

    FI is the sweetest, most romantic and genuine person I know.  That just throws it off the charts for me...  That and when he whispers sweet nothings in Spanish in my ear. 

     
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    krissycake    November 21, 2009   orlando,fl

    Easy answer: yes! =)

     
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    tessabella76    September 12, 2009   Ohio

    I'm going to agree with Kittyachi on this one. I've been with guys that I had more sexual attraction but know emotional connction with. And I've been with guys that I had an emotion connection with but the sexual attraction just wasn't there.

    What makes my relationship with my fiance special is that I have both sexual attraction and a deep emotional connection with. I couldn 't have one without the other.

    So while I may have had more sexual chemistry with someone in the past, there was no emotional connection and no potential future together. So of course, the sexual feelings were more intense because there was nothing else there.

     
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    Shaema    May 22, 2010  

    Every day he is more and more gorgeous to me....he takes my breath away.  I've dated handsome men before but he is by far the most beautiful to me---in a suit, dressed like a bum, or in a t-shirt and jeans.....I love the way he looks, always!

     
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    ejs4y8    June 20, 2009  

    Definitely more attracted to him than other guys! I haven't dated a lot of guys with raw sexual attraction in general though. I have dated some guys where something physical about them ate at me over time and was something I was glad to not deal with after we broke up (for real reasons, mind you). Although, he paws at me a LOT more than i paw at him. One guy, in particular, was overweight and never watched what he ate and never worked out. In general, he didn't take care of himself in regards to anything in his life and encouraged me to adopt the same lifestyle. I couldn't do it. He wouldn't even go to college or try to get out of his dead end job and parents' basement.

    I am definitely more physically attracted to my guy than any in the past, with a strong, deep emotional connection to boot! He paws at me a LOT more than I paw at him, though =]. He likes to reference South Park and tell me how lucky he is to have ended up with such a hottie! lol. It makes me feel good to know that he finds me so attractive since of course, I am my own worst critic!

     
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    crebre80    November 20, 2010   Baton Rouge, LA

    Hmmmm he isn't my fi but can i still post :P... i think M is the sexiest man i have ever seen (well except idris elba and djimon) but he is totally not my type of guy lol!!! he's very fair skinned and i usually love a chocolatey man (we're both black)... however he has this confidence about him that OMG is the sexiest thing i have ever seen. i love how he can walk into a room with such confidence and i love how everyone stops and respects what he has to say. when he gets home from work he just looks at me and our eyes meet and we both just grin. we are like two teenagers lol!!

     
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    abrideagain    October 24, 2009   Austin

    Yes, I can say that I've experience that same thing...and it extends out to wanting to be around that person all the time, not needing time away or time to myself, wanting to cuddle and being all lovey in public.

    I think that it's a GOOD thing!

     
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    Redeemed Rebekah    May 8, 2010   Ont, Canada

    YES I am extremly attracted to my man more than anyone else! Big biceps, blue eyes and a killer smile... and a spot in his arms that I fit perfectly into! Plus he is so funny and layed back.

    When I first saw him... I was like.. "God, you make them like that!?"Isn't God an amazing creator! :)

     

     
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    ejs4y8    June 20, 2009  

    @crebre80, that's so sweet! Confidence is way hot...until it gets cocky that is! But I know what you mean =]. My husband's a captain in the army and has that same aura about him.

     
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    crebre80    November 20, 2010   Baton Rouge, LA

    @ejs4y8: i kept wanting to say swagger but that is so trendy to say right now and it goes way beyond that.  and M has a slight tendency to get cocky but he teases me because i'm always in the mirror primping or looking at the amazing amount of GIRTH around my waist and he's so cute he's like no baby you haven't gained any weight (gotta love a liar too, when he lies about the right thing, right?) LMAO

     
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    KMSull    August 7, 2010   Lexington, KY (via Atlanta, GA)

    I'm attracted to him in a much different way. It's more of a quiet admiration for him, who he is, and what he stands for than a raw sexual attraction. But he gets the job done in that area too :p

     
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    LatteLove    June 19, 2009   Chicago/San Diego

    yes, but it definitely deeper and drawn from love and respect moreso than that he is "better looking" (although I think he is)  hot hot hot.

     
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    Valhalla    June 26, 2010   Vancouver, British Columbia

    My friend and I have had a simiar discussion before!

    The sexual chemistry between Mr. V and myself is fueled by an even more intense emotional connection. He GETS me, and I get him. I knew shortly after I met him that we shared a very special bond, and he felt the same way. I had previous sexual relationships, but the emotional connection was not there or simply not as profound - so my FI is the hottest man ever and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with him!

    Mr. V's parents are ex-hippies, and shortly after we met they completed an astrological chart for him and I, and compared them. According to the stars, we are a better match than most, and our compatibility index was off the charts ;) While I don't know how I feel about astrology, it was interesting to have our charts analyzed none the less!

     
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    JoesWifey    May 24, 2009   NYC/Wedding in Indiana

    hmm. idk. I've never had a REAL boyfriend other than Mr. Joe. My other "boyfriends" weren't much of anything and I really had little connection at all with any of them (one I didn't even LIKE until I found out he liked me, then I thought "well, maybe he's not so bad" LOL Jr high :p) I definitely can't keep my hands off of him, and I'm always comparing him to other guys (and he almost always wins lol) but he isn't what I would have pictured if I had imagined a man made of every physical trait I find attractive. He is actually very little of those things lol. I don't have a crazy sex drive that makes me want to jump his bones all the time though, but I've never felt that about anyone.

     

    Either way, I wouldnt change a thing about him. He's perfect! He's absolutely amazing and I truly believe I snagged the best guy out there. I can't wait to have his babies either :p

     
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    sjbee    6/20/2009   Los Angeles/ SF Bay Area

    Yes, oh lord, yes! I've been insane for him since the first time I laid eyes on him. But now that we are married, looking at him and knowing he is my family, the future father of my children, my husband... the feelings are so much more intense. 

     

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