Post # 1
Hi Bees!With 17 days to go until I get married, I am still undecided about changing my name!
Reasons for: It is traditional
When I was young, I always assumed I would
I want to have the same last name as our kids/ family
Reasons against:It seems weird to give up my last name, which is a big part of my identity
Makes me feel like the original me will be cancelled out
His last name is not particularly meaningful/ important due to family issues
I wish there was a way to not legally change it but just adopt it for practical use. I think Canada allows something like this.
Out of curiosity (I would not let a poll decide for me!), are you changing your name? Doing something else totally different?
Post # 3
I have my maiden name as my middle name now and took his last name.
Post # 4
@Cheeks225: I’m changing it partly because it’s tradition, it’s what I want to do, and this will be the family name, our family’s name that we build together.
Post # 5
I don’t think you change your name on your birth certificate, at least not in the US…. you might want to double-check on that! I’d have a hard time doing that, too!
Post # 6
I’m sort of in this pickle too because part of me wants very much to keep my last name, but FI is old school and thinks taking his family name means we’re officially a family. Don’t even get me started on that! LOL
Are you able to assume his name? I think here in Canada we can do that, not sure about the US. This way we don’t have to change our birth certificates and such. Granted, I don’t know how that will affect passport/traveling if you plan to have kids one day. I heard it’s a lot easier to travel with children if you all have the same last name??
Post # 7
@Cheeks225: You don’t get a new birth certificate. You just get a new SSN and Driver’s License (if you have one), and a marriage license.
I changed it because we already have a daughter and I want all of us to have the same last name. Not to mention it is traditional, and that if I hyphenated my name it would have been EXTREMELY long, so I just dropped my last name and took his.
Post # 8
@MrsJJC: That is what my sister told me, who got married a few years ago. But maybe she is mistaken!
Post # 9
@Cheeks225: You can always take your husband’s last name socially, but not change it legally.
I am taking my husband’s last name but keeping mine as a second middle name. I haven’t done the paperwork yet (middle name changes can’t be done on the marriage cert in NY), but I’ve started using his socially.
Post # 10
I plan on changing my last name to FI’s last name, because it’s traditional, what I have always known I would do, I want us to be a family by name as well as by law 🙂 I have never heard of changing the name on your birth certificate, the name you get when you change your name when you are married is NOT the name you were born with, so why would you have your name changed on your birth certificate?
Post # 11
I’m going to be having the same conundrum….
Post # 12
The first chance I get I am changing my last name. I am not fond of my last name because it is a real word and I have always hated that. FI’s last name actually rhyms with my current last name so my new name will be similar but better!
Post # 13
@Nico79: I wish we could do it the way Canadians do it! I’m pretty sure it’s all or nothing. I guess at work you could ask to be addressed by your married name, but your checks and official things would be your maiden name. I don’t think people do that though… correct me..
Post # 14
Not changing it is nooo big deal. It certainly doesn’t make you any less married or any less of a family. DH was actually very upset when I told him I wasn’t going to change my name, but over 2 years later, he doesn’t care at all because it doesn’t matter. Its Your name so its 100% your decision.
-I never had the same last name as my mom (divorce when I was a baby) and I never felt like we weren’t a family.
Post # 16
I changed mine and don’t regret it at all. You don’t get a new birth certificate, just a new SS card and driver’s license.