Post # 1
Through our nine-year relationship pre-engagement I had always planned that I would NOT change my legally, but WOULD change my name professionally and socially. Not that we are engaged and counting down with six months left to go, I’m reconsidering that plan.
If you’re comfortable, share whether you plan to change your name, or not. Did your views change on the subject, too?
Post # 3
@tennjm2663: It’s up tp you what you’re comfortable with.
I’m planning to change my name both legally and socially. If I added a hyphen on my name, it’ll be too long. I might use my maiden name as a middle name. But I’m taking his name.
Post # 4
I plan to take his name and change it legally and socially. I have always planned to go that route. Until I got on the Bee, I didn’t think it was that common to not take your husband’s last name (I am from the south though, and it’s just what we do here).
Post # 5
@tennjm2663: I’m planning to change my name legally and socially. Many years ago when I thought I didn’t even want to get married at all, I thought that if I did change my mind, I’d keep my name. As I’ve gotten older, though, I’ve realized I’m not really that attached to my last name. I have no relationship with my father, so I don’t feel particularly connected to that part of my identity. I also don’t have strong cultural ties (I wish I did, but I’m honestly not even sure of my heritage), so I wouldn’t be keeping my name for that reason. I know people who have changed their names and I know people who have kept them. I think it’s a very personal choice, and I think women should do whatever makes them happiest.
Post # 6
I changed it legally, tried to change it socially, but no one seems to be able to pronounce it correctly. So for now I’m just letting everyone call me by my maiden name because it’s too much of a hassle to keep correcting them. Husband warned me about this in advance and I should have listened.
Post # 7
I’ve always felt reluctant to change my name on marriage (my feminist instincts!) However, when I raised the prospect of keeping my maiden name my fiance was was quite hurt and it became clear that it really meant a lot to him for me to take his name. As a compromise, I will be legally changing my name so that I take his surname and my maiden name becomes my second middle name. I will also continue to use my maiden name at work, since I’ve established my career under that name. When I mention the maiden-name-as-middle-name plan, most people seem unimpressed – I don’t think it is something that is done very often in the UK. However, I love my maiden name, it’s part of my identity, and I’m really happy to be keeping it in some form. We may also give it to our first baby as a second middle name.
Post # 8
I’m changing my name legally and socially. I had always planned on that, even when I was a little girl. My mom did it, everyone else I know did too. To me my last name wasn’t part of my idenity I guess. I am who I’ve always been and will be regarless of what my last name is. Nothing against anyone who doesn’t change their name, it’s just how I was raised to see things I guess. My mom never made a big deal about it and she was my grandpa’s only child.
Post # 9
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
My situation is strangely the reverse of yours.
I am keeping my maiden name professionally and therefore must keep it legally because of the bureaucrocy in my field, but I’ve taken DH’s name socially.
What’s the benefit for you of keeping your name legally if you aren’t using it in any context?
Post # 10
I’m changing my name legally and socially, but keeping my name professionally.
Post # 11
I’m keeping it. It’s a perfectly good name. I like it. It has served me well enough, and I see no reason to change it. Fiance isn’t keen though.
It’s not like I would object if people called me Mrs FIsLastName. I wouldn’t necessarily correct them. But I like my name.
Post # 12
I changed my name.
My husband said it was important to him, and if I was unwilling to change my name, he probably wouldn’t have married me.
Post # 13
Can you really go round calling yourself anything other than what is written in your passport? Seems to confusing that people should know me by two different names. I am definitely changing mine. To me, that is a really important part of the commitment of getting married and becoming one family. He is my primary family now, not my parents, so I feel that I should have his name instead of theirs. Also, I want to have the same name as our future babies. I come from Sweden, and men sometimes take their wives names there, which I also think is OK. They just pick the one they like more.
My H2B is Greek and I am Swedish, so I will have a greek name. Some people might ask me why I have a greek name if I am swedish, but for me it would seem more weird to have a swedish name when I am married to a greek man.
Also, I can’t call myself “Mrs Karlsson” if I am married to “Mr Mallios” can I? Or maybe you can. But it sounds to me like you are married to “Mr Karlsson” if you are “Mrs Karlsson”. (Those are not our real names, btw). So if I didn’t take his name, I wouldn’t want to change my title to Mrs either, and I want to do that. It sounds “grown up”, and I like it, lol.
Post # 14
I originally planned to take my husband’s last name, but the way things are panning out, I don’t think I will any time soon. We’re buying a house at the moment, so I would have to wait until after that anyway. On top of that, I’ve got a very strong connection with my family and heritage, so my surname is a very strong part of my identity – changing it almost makes me feel like I’m turning my back on my family and heritage.
Thirdly, my in-laws are very possessive and really want me to be their daughter (i.e. they treat me like a child), so keeping my name has also been my way of showing them that nothing has changed, even though I am married to their son.
Post # 15
I’m keeping my name, I like my name and I don’t see a reason to change it.
Post # 16
@tennjm2663: i’m changing my name legally, professionally, and socially as soon as we return from our honeymoon.