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I'm more of a fun-playful kind of person, so the garter toss has never given me anxiety. However, I can see how more of a shy person wouldn't feel comfortable with their FI's hands up their skirt trying to find the garter.
Go with what you are comfortable with. If you really want someone's opinion, I would ask your FI how he feels about it. You never know, it may not matter to him if you do the garter toss or not. However, he might be dead-set on doing it. I would definitely talk to him.
My FI told me point blank, "I'm not doing the garter toss...I think it's stupid." LOL. And i've decided not to wear one because we're doing an after party kind of thing so I'll be changing out of my dress anyway. I might get to keep as a keepsake, but that's it...so if you want to wear one, I say go ahead....you could get one with blue in it and call it your "something blue."
I'm not doing a garter or a bouquet toss. We don't have enough single friends/family, and it was something I always, always hated at other people's weddings.
@IlsaLund...RIGHT ON!!! I always hated being shoved up there. My mom was like, "You have to toss a bouquet." I told her I'd get her one and she could do it lol.
My DH and I did not do a garter toss or a bouquet toss. We weren't into all the reception traditions. We've both always hated having to "go up for the tosses" in the past, so we refused to do it to our guests. And our guests seemed to really like that.
If you want the garter for pictures, wear it for sure. If not, and you still want to wear it, go for it. If you don't care to wear it, there is no need for it.
If you want to do the garter toss pull it around your knee or around your calf before he takes it off.
We did it, mostly because my DH really wanted to do it. I agree with anwenning, talk to your FI. I may have nixed it had I not known how much he had wanted to do it.
We are skipping both the garter toss and bouquet toss. It was a mutual decision on both accounts. My grandmother bought me a garter (!!!) shortly after we got engaged so I'll probably do the obligatory photo of putting on the garter during the "getting ready" shots, but I'll take it off immediately after. I just don't want her to think it went to waste (although I did tell her we won't be doing the actual toss).
If you're not comfortable with it, don't do it. I don't think I am, but on the same note, I'm having a custom garter made on Etsy for me. I'll actually have it made in the next couple of weeks, so I can use it for some boudoir shots then for our wedding.
We are doing both but have decided not to do the part where the guy who catches it puts on the girl. With our luck two first cousins will catch them and then it will be really wrong.
I'm not comfortable with the garter toss either. Instead, we're putting the toss garter around a football under one of the covered wedding chairs. When he gets down to "go under my dress", he'll quickly reach under and grab the football and that's how we'll do the garter toss. I think it'll be fun :)
I'm not doing a garter toss but I don't see why you couldn't wear one even if you didn't toss it. Nobody is going to see and tell you off :P I just can't seem to connect garter toss and classy wedding. Luckily it's not common here :)
We are skipping both the garter toss and the bouquet toss. Most of our friends are either married or have been with their SOs a long time. I also didn't like being pulled out to those so I am not going to do that to our few friends that are single.
@karatechick27 HaHa, thats exactly what I heard from my little Punkin! That was the FIRST thing he said when I started planning. I am completely ok with it though, most of our friends are married and we are having a small intimate wedding.
No because the majority of single guys on our guest list are either those with no intentions of getting married anytime soon or are teenagers. Plus I don't feel comfortable doing anything like that in front of conservative family and friends. I can't say that I have ever enjoyed participating in the bouquet toss either so we will be skipping that as well.
I think we will be doing one...I do think it's weird to have my fiance up under my skirt in front of older family members and tossing a still warm piece of lingerie into a crowd of guys, BUT I think our families are into tradition and would feel like they missed something if we skipped the tosses. So I may go the route of bees before me who tied gift cards to the items and open up the tosses to single and married guys/girls.
We both have lots of single friends and don't have a problem with the garter or bouquet toss; however, we are skipping the part of having the garter placed on whoever catches the bouquet.
I agree with PP, I think if you're uncomfortable with it, skip it, but still wear one if you want!
We're not tossing anything, for most of our guests are married and/or above the 40 year mark.
My tendency to get embarrassed is quite low, but I find the garter toss to be somewhat vulgar.
I didn't really want to do a garter toss, but FI talked me into it. We're playing Georgia Satellites "Keep your hands to yourself" for it :-)
We did a garter toss. Initially I thought I was going to be weirded out by people seeing my husband reach up my skirt, but it was actually a lot of fun! He didnt get it with his teeth so his head was not up my dress! He just reached up and I had pulled up my dress somewhat so that it was easier for him to find!
we are doing the anniversary dance where the longest couple will get the garter and bouquet. the spare garter will be on the side so no need to go up the skirt for it!
There's no rule that says you have to do a garter toss! In fact, more and more brides are foregoing it, along with the bouquet toss. I expect that it will eventually become a pretty rare occurrence.
I'm not doing either. It's probably the feminist in me, but I always dreaded being dragged up there myself. (I would actually hide in the bathroom when I sensed it coming.) I hated the implication that all of the single women were desperate to get married, and would knock each other over for the opportunity, while the men just wanted to catch the garter so they could feel up a stranger.
As for wearing a garter, that's something else entirely, and I don't think they're related. If you want to wear it, wear it!! I kind of like the idea of surprising the groom with it later! :)
I really really didn't want to do it because we have very few single friends/family, but a lot of married/common law/hooked up in serious relationship friends stepped up for both the bouquet toss and the garter toss.
A lot of people still get into the spirit..either way if you want to just wear one and not toss it, do it!
We're doing the garter toss. I'm not offended by it in the least. I think it is all in good fun, and my fiance agrees. Yay for traditions!
Personaly, no garter todd for us, simply because I would be just too nervous to have my fiance do it and it bugs me just a smidge. I have seen plenty of hilarious and fun garter tosses, too so whatever works for you and your personality.
I don't want to do a garter toss or bouquet toss - my FI thought it was weird that I didn't want to, so I'm not sure what will actually happen. We're both almost 30, most of our friends are married, and the other ones that aren't are also almost 30. I HATE having to go to the dance floor to catch the stupid bouquet, so you *might* be the one to get married next. I stopped going up like 5 years ago. If you're single and "old" it just makes you feel so lame that you're without a SO. Also, I think a garter would drive me up the wall - tights and things like that always itch, so I'm thinking a garter would be similar. I also don't get the point of wearing a garter.
@SweetRose2011: Nope. We are having an afternoon reception under a tent and most of our friends aren't single.
We did a garter toss but not a garter removal. He just had it and then tossed it. I was NOT having him go up my skirt in front of all my family!
I've never understood the garter toss.. No offense to anyone but I actually find it a little weird that some random guy is going to be holding the garter I wore on my thigh all day.. Bottom line is there will be no garter toss for me and no bouquet toss either.
I always hated to be the "single" up there catching the bouquet but i cant help wanting to do it for my own wedding. I worry about the garter toss because his family is super conservative but me..im down for it i think it would be fun! i guess i should see how many singles will be there before i make a decision.
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I was thinking about this today I don't know how comfortable I am with my FI reaching under my skirt in front of all those people to get it. How weird would it be to wear a garter even if we don't do a garter toss?