Are you even having a wedding?

posted 3 years ago in Elopement
Post # 3
Member
432 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

@otto2008: Sometimes I wish I could do this, lol. The slowly building anticipation of wedding planning is fun, but there are days when I’m like “can I just be his wife already?!” I’m also a calmer spirit as well, and I dont enjoy having the spotlight on me all the time,but I know this wedding is really for both of our families, so I’m playing along.

Post # 4
Member
4540 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - Royalton White Sands

We’re sort of doing both. We’re going to the courthouse and, the next day, flying out to Jamaica for a (private) ceremony on the beach. I wanted to just do the ceremony in Jamaica, but my mom insisted that she see me get married somehow, so it was an easy compromise. 

Post # 5
Member
1311 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 1994

After nearly 4 years of being a couple, my husband and I were considering the courthouse, but went with a beach elopement instead. We exchanged vows next to the ocean, had some photos taken, went out for brunch, then went to the boardwalk and rode the amuzement rides after. We went out for dinner later and stayed the night on the coast. Here are some photos!  http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/wedding-recap-pictures#axzz2nJxFg3wz

Yes, there were some folks disappointed they didn’t get to share our wedding day with us. It was a little sad to not have everyone there to share in our big day. However, we eloped for a number of reasons. We couldn’t afford to have everyone there. We wanted our day to be a bit more private, and not share our vows in front of a bunch of people. We didn’t want to deal with the stress of planning a big wedding. We felt the pressure to make other people happy, and it wasn’t working for us. It made sense for us financially and for other reasons. 

We did what was best for us. Our wedding day was really nice, overall relaxing, and we had a great day. I’m glad we eloped. 

Everyone was excited and happy for us. The only two people that were a little hurt by our choice was our mothers. However, they were still happy for us and we had a positive initial response. 

If you are choosing the non-traditional route simply because of money, consider doing a brunch, on a Sunday. That can save a bunch. But yeah, it definately depends on your reasons. 

 

Post # 6
Member
971 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Due to several issues we ended up changing our date twice and finally decided to do a DW in Las Vegas. Our guest list went from over 100 to 3, and people have been a little disappointed that we changed things kind of late, but it’s been a lot less stressful for me, the venue (Wynn Hotel) has been amazing. I’m looking forward to getting married without the dramatics. And, the money saved ($20K or more) can be used for our house that we built last year. Am I disappointed that I didn’t get a bridal shower or had a larger wedding – yes, I will admit to that. But in the long run, I’m getting married to FI, that’s what matters to me.

Post # 7
Member
290 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

I don’t plan to have a wedding. Things could change in the next few years, but I just can’t picture it. I thought my family would be offended but when I mentioned it to them they were super understanding. Remember there are a lot of things you can do in between the courthouse and a huge ceremony/reception, like small ceremony, destination wedding, private ceremony/public reception, etc!

Post # 8
Member
1475 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@otto2008:  FI and I just talked about this recently HE would love an elopement or even going down to the courthouse OR tiny ceremony with immediate family only. He just isn’t a big party kinda guy.

I said we should go to Vegas right now and do it. His face lit up!

Reality is we are having a full on wedding and reception. I am excited about it because I’ve never been married so I think it’ll be nice and fun! Plus our families and my friends would be hugely disappointed if we didn’t. He doesn’t want me to miss out on the experience so he’s being awesome about it. But I totally get the appeal to elope, if my parents were not in the picture we would probably elope.

 

 

 

Post # 9
Member
154 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

we’re gonna get married this way. We’ll probably invite closest friends and family (probably anywhere between 10-30 people depending on what we feel like once we start planning) for dinner after. In some courthouses here you can even bring guests. I’m not gonna buy a wedding dress, and I would also be fine not inviting anyone but SO wants it and I’m totally fine with having something very small. We would just not appreciate a huge, expensive party. 

Post # 10
pyramidBee
104 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - St. Francis of Assisi Church & N.O. Board of Trade

I’m very much of the opinion that you should have the wedding (or lack of a wedding) that’s just right for you.  But just remember those people who do love and care for you and want to be there. 

I say this because we had some close friends go do to the courthouse during the day for several reasons, which were understandable.  We are really happy for them and love them, and I wish we could have been able to celebrate this moment in their lives.  Even if we  all just meet up for dinner or drinks somewhere that day or that weekend and I have to pay for my own, I’d want to do that and toast to you and your new husband.  At least that’s how I see it.  

Think of some other alternatives and see what works for you before scrapping the whole idea, is what I’m saying!  

 

Post # 11
Member
1931 posts
Buzzing bee

We’re having a very very nontraditional wedding setup. We’re having a private (read: planned elopment) ceremony in Europe and combining it with the honeymoon, then a formal City Hall ceremony with our parents and siblings and then throwing a low-key beachhouse party for everyone! 

Post # 12
Member
2661 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I really wish I wanted to elope/have a courthouse wedding! Unfortunately I can’t convince myself that I would be okay not walking down the aisle in front of family and friends with a big reception after. FI and I both have big families and several close friends, and I couldn’t imagine my wedding day without them being there. It’s very annoying lol.

Post # 14
Member
2661 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@Happy Hopeful Bee:  glad I’m not the only one! I feel so materialistic, wanting the “big wedding.” But it’s more about the number of people that I want present than having a princess day. I blame our grandparents for having so many kids!

Post # 15
Member
1475 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@pineapplez17:  you are NOT alone!

Our families are large and close, so even though he prefers tiny, I really would love all my loved ones and his present.  For us family alone is like 60ppl…I hate having the guest list larger than he would prefer but each person is a hand selected close family member, crazy as it might sound!

I agree with you, it’s hard to imagine them not being there.

Post # 16
Member
1475 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@pineapplez17:  definitely NOT about a princess day! Totally about celebrating with the most important people in your lives. + 1000000000

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