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we are not friends where i call their wives, but i would consider us friendly enough. i like his friends and i think they like me. i would invite them to our house for a football party etc, but i definitely wouldn't think oh wow i'm going out to the movies i'll call x or z, nah....
Im friends with his friends but not such great friends I would go out with them without him.
Yup. I'm in the same situation. FH has two groups of friends. One I love hanging out with and one I dread. They are all perfectly nice to me but I just have nothing in common with them and find them utterly dull. Also, to be perfectly honest, I have no idea why FH is still friends with them. They have nothing in common with him and they are just totally different type of people. FH and I are both professionals, live in the city, enjoy the finer things, have big career and life goals and love to travel. THose friends all live within a 5 mile radius of where they were born, have never really traveled, have no goals past the next snowboarding trip and their idea of a good time is a dive bar or playing Wii all night. Althought they've never said anything, I'm pretty sure they all think I'm stuck up and presumptuous.
Like I said, they are perfectly nice to me but I too try to avoid hanging out with them. I just get SO bored. FH knows how I feel about them so he doesn't presure me too much. But to be fair to him I try to hang out at least on a few occassions.
I'm pretty much friends with all of his friends - but definitely not to where we'd hang out without CW. However, one of his friends' SO and I are cordial just not exaclty friends ... I don't choose to hang out with her very often to be honest. We just don't have much in common.
i am in about the same situation as you tvilase, i get along really well with a couple of his friends but a majority of them i just have nothin. I dont dislike them but they are not my type of people i guess you could say. I dont tend to go out with FI either if he is going out with this ones, then i too, feel bad about it.
Does your FI get along well with ur friends?
I'm not that into some of his friends, one in particular. I entertain myself while they hang out, or I'll meet up with them for a drink and then go my own way for the rest of the night. I know it's important for him to keep up with this guy, but I feel like I've given him chances. It doesn't bother me at all that this is just one person we don't visit or spend time with together.
I feel really bad about it, but the vast majority of my fiance's friends are just not my type of people. Some of them I actually dislike, for many various reasons. Some of them have not been the greatest friends, some are just way to "urban" for me (no offense to urbanites here, its just not something I can relate to).
He has a couple of girlfriends from his college days, and one of them is pretty awesome. She is great to hang around, as is her boyfriend. The other girl has personally offended me a couple times though. I also think she had/has a crush on my husband... so there is that tension between she and I usually. I have never mentioned this to hubby, he is oblivious.
The girl friend of his best friend is nice and very kind, but his best friend is kind of a tool o.O!!
edit: when I say "girlfriends" I mean friends of his that are girls, not ex-girlfriends! haha
I like most of his friends except for 1 that we both used to work with. He is part of the 'drinking buddies' group and acts like an A-hole when he is drunk. He says gross comments, and I am not very tolerant of that behavior, especially as my dad is an alcoholic. Sadly, some of the friends I get along w/ the best are out of town, but I am not sure what it would be like if we lived close together. We get along great on vacation, but I am a very different person (more religious, etc.) than them, so I'm not sure if that would matter if we saw each other more often.
After my last BF, it has made me ? more how much people like me, rather than just being nice bc of the relationship. I thought I was actually friends w/ some of my exes friends (mostly the girls in the group), but I never heard a peep from them after he dumped me (and it's not like I did anything bad to him, the rel'nship just didn't have long-term potential, but who knows, maybe he told them something else!)
I would say I am more "cordial" with most of his friends, a few of them I like hanging out with (along with FI of course, never by myself!) but some of them are just awful! One of his friend's girlfriends who I used to try very very hard to be friends with has just become unbearable over the past few months, constantly commenting on my weight loss but never offering a compliment, instead I get, "you USED to have such a pretty face!" Like now I'm a gargoyle or something?
I'd like to hear your "long story"!
I really dislike being around his old high school friends, one which has been is roommate for the past 5 years. I like most of his college friends, but we never see them outside of functions. We need friends.
I think I'm one of the lucky ones...FI's friends & I get along really well, to the point that I have no problem hanging out with them without him. (FI REALLY appreciates this, since there have been a few times that his OOT friends have come to visit & he's been forced to work late/unexpectedly...he loves that I was able to entertain them until he was free/they left town) It probably helps that we've been together for 11 years & I've been able to get to know them over that time. It also helps that, while FI is a friendly guy, he made his closest friends when he was 5-9 years old & there are only 5 of them. All other "friends" he/we have made after that aren't nearly as close to him as these. It narrows down the field of people I "need to" get to know/get along with.
@ tvilase: If you're looking for advice on how to handle the friends you're just not into, I'd say to just keep it light & group-oriented & always keep in mind that you never have to like his friends as much as HE likes them; you just have to respect & be friendly enough to show him that, since you love him, you'll make his time with them as worry-free & enjoyable as possible.
oh! & I ditto lolabear! I'm interested in your "long story", too!
I am friends with his BFF (a girl) and am friendly with one of his female friends. I am becoming friends with one of his friend's fiancees, and I would hang out with all the girls without him (and have).
I am not "friends" with any of his male friends unless they are someone that I was already friends with anyway. The Boy and I have known each other for years before we got together so we do have mutual friends that we didn't meet because of one another.
Thanks everyone! I definitely feel better knowing I'm not the only one who hasn't bonded with his friends.
@ kellibella - the funny thing is that the majority of our friends are actually mutual friends. We were friends before we started dating and hung out will all of the same people. Most of my friends live in other states, but when he has met them, he seems to really like them.
@lolabear and ms.pascua - haha - well, the longer version is that over Halloween weekend these particular friends organized a camping trip. Now, I can handle camping...sort of...but this turned into one of those - hey, wouldn't it be fun to camp in the middle of nowhere in the desert where there is no plumbing anywhere! - situations. And I'll admit, that I can't handle. I agreed to go for my fiance's sake even though I was pretty sure I'd be miserable. And believe me, being stuck in the middle of nowhere with people you're already not comfortable with is a bad idea!! So it now just has me wondering if in the future I should just say no to these situations (well, believe me, I've already told FI no to any future camping trips!) or if I should continue to try and just deal with it for him. It's a fine line between his happiness and mine. At least he is very understanding about it!
I like all of my boyfriends friends except for one of them. for some reason he is really rude to me and talks to me like Im a 5 year old. Something I dont tolerate.
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Just curious. I don't want to get too into my own situation because then this post will just get long. And it's not even all that dramatic. The short version is: there is a couple that he's known forever that are his really, really good friends (the guy is in the wedding). They're perfectly nice to me and I'm perfectly nice to them, so it's not a dramatic or fight type situation. I just have very little in common with them and have always been somewhat uncomfortable around them. More and more I choose not to go out when my FI is going out with them but then I feel kind of bad about it. There's obviously more but that's the general gist of it.
Anybody else in a similar situation? How do you deal with his friends that you're just not that into?