Are you going to propose back to him? ;-)

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
7997 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

Nope. Neither of us really “proposed”… we just decided to buy a ring and be engaged lol.

I think he’d give me the side eye if I tried anything like that on him. I wouldn’t want to either. Granted, he didn’t propose in our situation, but I wouldn’t want to take that away from a guy if he did it for me… and two proposals seems a bit over the top to me.

Post # 4
Member
42510 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

The two of you have already agreed to marry when he proposes to you, and you say yes.

No need to ask him to marry you, as he’s already agreed to do so.

I’m not saying don’t do it. I’m sure he will love it, but for me there are already more than enough rituals associated with getting married.

 

Post # 5
Member
37 posts
Newbee

Yep, kinda! He’s sick of asking me and being told “not yet”, so apparently when I’m ready I have to propose to him before he’ll propose to me. I don’t think it’ll involve any grand gestures (at least not on my part). Since we are entering into this together I think we will have a little ring-exchange ceremony just between the two of us (coz I like shiny things, and also I have the perfect ring picked out for him). So yes I will be, but nothing major, and it’ll be a mutual thing anyway 🙂

Post # 6
Member
389 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I won’t be personally. I’m not against the idea at all. However, I am just secretly looking forward to SO going all out for me for that moment. He just get the enjoy of me saying”Yes” and then probably jumping on him. haha

Post # 7
Member
1174 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@julies1949:  Um, wtf? I think that’s really uncalled for, and a bizarre thing to say. A lot of wedding traditions that the Wedding Industrial Complex tries to impose on us are really strange, but doesn’t that mean we should try to change them and make them better? Like, say, the woman feelign empowered and like she has a say in the proposal? Seriously, what is with this comment!!??

 

@alsgirl:  Go for it girl!!! I did this and it was amazing, so yeah, clearly I’m biased. We actually decided on a day together (Christmas, with the family) but kept it secret how exactly we’d propose to each other! He juuuust beat me to it, but we both had something awesome planned! I have the full story, if you’re interested, here:

http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/im-proposing-to-my-boyfriend-of-4-years-very-very-soon#axzz2XTw3HrJw

The atcual recap/story are at the bottom of that post, hope it helps and good luck! 🙂

 

Post # 8
Member
42510 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MrsSnowMountain:  To each his own.I can only give my opinion, not yours.

I did say that my opinion shouldn’t stop her and that he will  probably love it- not so hard to understand.

She does have a say in the proposal. She can say yes or no.

 

Post # 9
Member
1174 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@julies1949:  But she can’t ask him if she wants to? I don’t understand your thinking.

You do what’s right for you, but I find your advice extremely condescending. It’s different if you were to say “Personally, I wouldn’t do this…” but no, you seem to be dictating to others what their options are, which rubs me the wrong way.

 

Post # 10
Member
42510 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MrsSnowMountain:  You seem to have some problems comprehending my response. I said:

I’m not saying don’t do it. I’m sure he will love it, but for me there are already more than enough rituals associated with getting married.

Post # 11
Member
1174 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@julies1949:  No I read your response, I just am expressing my disagreement with your opinion, and I think I explained why! I think it’s odd that you think there are too many rituals, but are not giving empowering or progressive advice to help people change those rituals 🙂

 

 

Post # 12
Member
42510 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MrsSnowMountain:  I don’t know how I could say it any more clearly without using your words.

I did say this was not a personal option for me- “but for me“…     that’s what Personally, I wouldn’t do this.. means


I did say to go ahead and do it.

I did say I thought he would love it.

If my opinion is that there are too many rituals already, why would I want to add another one?

We can agree to disagree but it’s really not fair to attack if you can’t quote correctly or understand that I have no objection to what anyone else does. I just said this wasn’t an option for me.

 

 

Post # 13
Member
454 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@alsgirl:  I did 🙂 I was a waiting bee for about 6 months but I agreed to wait and give him his “moment” – glad I did, turned out amazing.

That happened on the Saturday I think and then the next weekend as a total surprise, I came into the bedroom with our puppy, Loki, who had a new collar on with a tag that read “Will… (on the front) … you marry me too?” (on the back) and then a LOTR ring on the same hook as the tag. Then I gave him a card that said “to your happy marriage” or something and wrote about how happy it made me to be his fiance and how excited I was to marry him.

He loved it and still wears the ring all the time, even though it was only a joke ring – he was supposed to pick out another one, still choosing about 7 months later – and it doesn’t even fit his ring finger it is too small.

Post # 14
Member
87 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@alsgirl:  That’s so exciting! I’m planning to do this also. BF and I have a very open relationship so we’ve already talked about getting married and even picked out a date and booked a venue. We already consider ourselves engaged (to us, planning a wedding = engaged) but he really wants to do a proposal. But he always jokes around that it’s not fair he has to propose and he doesn’t get a big romantic gesture from me. So I’m gonna propose to him the day after he proposes to me! I’m so excited.

ETA: In my culture, men also wear engagement rings so I’ll be proposing with that.

Post # 16
Member
51 posts
Worker bee

I did! Kind of. It wasn’t an elaborate proposal, but I wanted to do something mutual and meaningful. Months and months ago I had stumbled upon a Willow Tree figurine of a couple dancing. They look somewhat like us and her dress is white and subtly wedding-like. It reminded me of the first time we had told each other “I love you” when my SO danced with me to no music in his apartment and whispered it in my ear. So after he had proposed and I said yes, I gave it to him with a heartfelt card explaining the sentiment of the gift and my own proposal to him. It ended with, “Will you marry me?” I am very happy to say that he said, “Yes!”

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