Post # 1
This is something that I have been stressing out ever since I got engaged. I LOVE my last name, but I used to hate it when I was a kid because it’s unique and hard to pronounce. And now I feel like I identify myself with it.
My fiance doesn’t really like his last name because his first and last name end with “ry”, he doesn’t like the way it sounds. And my first name ends in an “e” sound too, so….
But alas, he did not like my suggestion of him taking my last name. Nor did he like the idea of combining our last names to make a new one, hypenation, or just adding it to his last name (He’s super traditional…) He did tell me that if I wanted to hypenate or have two last names or not change it at all, that he’s fine with it. But he wants to keep his last name the way it is. I’m torn with wanting to have his last name to start out our new life with, and keeping my maiden name. I have no brothers, so my sister and I are the only ones with this last name in our whole extended family now and the name will die when we get married, so I’m a little sad about it disappearing.
We’ve somewhat settled on us both adding my last name as our second middle names (and me getting his last name). I don’t like the idea of replacing my middle name or getting rid of my maiden name, but I haven’t really heard of many women who have added a second middle name instead of replacing their current one.
Did any of you guys add your maiden name are your second middle name? Or anyone who got their fiance to comprimise on the name change?
I’m aware that in many countries when a couple gets married, they keep their last names, but I’m afraid that people will not think we’re married if we have different last names.
Post # 3
yes. His is one syllable, whcih goes nicely with my unique first name.
Post # 4
@fivemonthsnotice: Oh jealous, my name will be ridiculously long w/ his last name.
Post # 5
i have no particular attachment to my last name, and it’s hard for people to pronounce. his is one syllable, and very readable. and i think it’s beautiful. i’m excited to make it mine, too!
Post # 6
I added my husband’s last name to my last name (with a space instead of a hyphen) because, like you, I wanted to keep my last name (and it was important to me that it stay my last name) but also wanted to be connected to his. Your solution of having your last name as a second middle last name works too! I understand the concern about people not immediately knowing if you’re married if you have different last names, but that is common enough now that I really doubt it would be a problem. Do what feels right for you!
Post # 7
First Name ; FI’s last name
–> No middle name for me (never had one)
Post # 8
I’m taking his last name, but I’m pretty attached to it though and I can’t get rid of it completely so I will be First Maiden Husband’s last name.
Post # 9
I always considered it traditional to take your maiden name as your new middle name, and to take your FI’s last name as your own.
However, my last name, while not a bad last name, would make a TERRIBLE/AWKWARD middle name, so I’m just dropping it altogether and taking FI’s last name.
Post # 10
My son has my last name so that’s why Fiance is ok with me keeping my last name. If we have kids our children will just have Fiance last name. I don’t want my son to be the only one in the family with a different last name. My new name (First name middle name maiden last name-new last name will have 32 letters in it…more than the alphabet ! lol! I love my last name and would never drop it. Both my older sisters hyphenated as well. BUT after the ceremony and at the reception I am “letting” us be introduced as ” Mr and Mrs. Jose and Angelica new last name 🙂
Post # 11
I considered all the various forms of name gymnastics only to realize that what I really wanted was just to keep my last name so that’s what I’m going to do.
Post # 12
I dropped my last name and took his… I have to admit it is MUCH weirder than I ever thought it would be.
Post # 13
Have any of you gotten negative comments for wanting to keep your last name?
Post # 14
Quite a while until we actually get married, but for years I’ve planned to make my last name a second middle name. I just don’t want to lose it completely and this works perfectly for me.
Post # 15
My name will stay unchanged. We don’t change our names in marriage here.
Post # 16
We’ve been talking about this quite a bit lately…
I am most likely going to change my name for the first time in 50+ Years (I kept my own family name when I was married the first time)
Seriously considering dropping all middle-name references (my own, or my maiden name) and just using my regular first name and his surname
They go well together, and are easy-peasy
Going to be kind of wierd though having no middle name, and giving up my long-standing family name
But it will certainly mark a new beginning for me and my guy (too many bad memories tied to my former self and a difficult / abusive first marriage and aftermath)