- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
A lot of brides aren't doing this these days! Personally, I find both the traditions to be degrading and somewhat insulting, and won't be doing them no matter what ANYone says (FI agrees, fortunately).
As for alternatives, I've heard some people mention doing an Anniversary Dance, which has to do with finding out who in the crowd has been married longest. I've also heard of giving a single blossom to each married woman, although I feel that is just as insulting, since it still draws a distinction between married and single, implying that one is better than the other.
You don't HAVE to replace this with something; you can just cut it out. :)
I'm definitely doing the bouquet toss and garter toss! We have enough single friends and relatives that no one will feel singled out. I think it is a cute tradition and I don't think it is degrading/insulting at all.
Like daydream, I've heard of/seen the Anniversary dance, which is cute, but I don't think you need to use it as a replacement for the toss. If you don't want to do it, just cut it out.
I've also heard of having your toss bouquet tied into multiple little bouquets that separate when you throw it. Each has a wish, saying, or fortune tied to it. So more than one person gets the flowers and intead of it meaning they are next to get married, there is just a cute saying tied to it.
Ah, yes I considered the anniversary dance---I think it's a nice way to honor our grandparents. But unfortunately, his parents recently went through a nasty divorce and I think having the dance would be inappropriate considering their situation. It's so hard to cater to everyone! gahhh!
We didn't do a bouquet or garter toss and no one missed it. No need to replace them. I think sometimes wedding days feel too "scheduled" so I think it is okay to take out some of the traditional events.
We're not doing the bouquet/garter toss because I hate being forced to be a part of them as a guest. We will also have very few truly single guests, because we waited a while compared to the rest of our friends. I'm also not replacing it with anything. I had thought about doing the anniversary dance thing, but of the three couples that have been married super long (over 50 years) two of the husbands recently passed away. . .so it would be more sad that celebratory. I really don't think anyone will notice. My mom's disappointed, but she'll get over it.
I wouldn't worry too much about catering to everyone, since that's nearly impossible. That being said, we're having two sets of bouquet/garter toss; one for those 17 and under and one for those over. We'll be throwing candy and toys to the little ones from Oriental Trading Company.
I was just doing a bit of research into the practice, and it looks like it was started back in 14th century France when guests would tear at the bride's clothing trying to get a piece since it was considered lucky. Brides got pretty sick of it, and so started throwing pieces of their ensemble to appease the crowd (I find this both frightening and HILARIOUS!). The people that caught said articles were said to be very lucky throughout the next year, and somehow that morphed into "you'll be the next to get married", probably somewhere in England.
Anyhoo, one option listed is to individually give each female guest (or both male and female, who knows?) a flower from your bouquet. You have the chance to go up to them and personally connect (something you could do during your rounds). Another is to include all female members in the bouquet toss regardless of their relationship status. Personally, I like the former the most :-)
If you don't want to, then don't. I'm not a fan either, but I know a lot of brides love them, so I would never dismiss them as tacky or silly. Just not my style.
@misshelen: HA thanks for the research! I am picturing cinderella when her step sisters rip off all of her gown! How funny!!!
As far as taking apart your bouquet---it's a sweet idea! But I was shocked by how expensive my bouquet is costing!!! My florist budgeted $400, but said it will be more like $375 IS THIS NORMAL? I don't know if I'll want to take it apart after that! lol.
In the end I may just leave it be and replace it with nothing....
@mermaid: Yiou're right, I don't mean to be rude. I just know that as a guest, I always hid during the bouquet toss!!!! I don't want anyone at my wedding to feel the need to crawl under the tables, or conviently make a bathroom break! My apologies!
Depending on the flowers, I would say that's nromal. mine is about $375 too.
Phewww...the wedding makeup on flowers is *disgusting*! Mine are roses and hydrangeas...with some other fillers. What's yours, mermaid?
We had one at our wedding and Im glad we did becuase it was HILARIOUS. We did a non traditional switcharoo. I threw the toss bouquet (make sure you get one so you dont ruin yours). My H through the garter. The two perfect people caught it ironically, his sister and her bf (who will be married one day soon). Then we put a Blindfold on the bf and spun him around and replaced his beautiful sister with a big hairy man. It was so funny cause the bf was so confused. So if your not into the whole traditional way and still want one. Talk to your DJ about this!
funnyswitch.jpg (41.1 KB, 13 downloads) 2 years old 
I don't know where you live or how big your bouquet will be, but I think $375 is really expensive. Did you get quotes from multiple florists?
I can't stand the bouquet toss! I think it is soo embarrassing and then people automatically start pushing and pulling you toward the dance floor if you're single. I'd rather see it gone. :)
$400 is very expensive for a bouquet.
I sure did! I had 5 florist consultants because I didn't know how much the flowers would cost and I wanted to make sure no one was scamming me! Most all budgeted for 300-400 for it. :( We are getting married in Pittsburgh. I did set up a service to come and take all the flowers to the nearby hospital after the reception, so since I know they're serving two purposes, I guess it doesn't bother me so much. I'm convinced I could sell a piece of **** for $100 if I claimed it was wedding necessary!
We're skipping both. I always felt humiliated having to participate in tosses so I'd just as soon skip it for others. I also think those events can sometimes screw up the flow of the reception - people take some time/liquor to get up the nerve to dance and then bam, bouquet toss ruins it. It's hard to recover from that!
nope no bouquet toss or garter toss for us, we werent feelin it. Plus our single friends are way too independent and arent into that at all. I wasnt going to throw my gorgeous peony bouquet away. You dont NEED to do these, they are not an integral aprt of the day if you dont deem them to be.
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| ellisrobertson | 24 |
| fishbone | 21 |
| ndreighton | 18 |
| MsPanda | 14 |
| ladyartichoke | 14 |
| aduarte3201 | 14 |
| mypinkshoes | 12 |
 rdownie1 |
12 |
| pengoala | 11 |
| sylvia.riggle |
11 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| Samo12 | 5 |
| les105 | 3 |
| nerdysarah | 3 |
| fishbone | 3 |
| pengoala | 2 |
| vorpalette |
2 |
| bakerella | 1 |
| PinkPinstripes | 1 |
| Summer82 | 1 |
| karmalkween | 1 |
I don't want to include these silly traditions in my reception. My mother-in-law (to be) and florist think I "need" to have these! I think the bouquet toss is horrible to my single friends. Many of them are strong, independant and love being single! The bouquet toss makes it seems like all single girls are desperate to marry...not true! Your thoughts? Are there better alternatives?