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Are you having a male or female officiant?

posted 2 years ago in Ceremony
  • 2 Members Subscribed To Topic
  • poll: Are you having a male or female officiant?
    Male : (39 votes)
    64 %
    Female : (22 votes)
    36 %
  •  
    1.
    Bee Icon
    Bee
    4,047 posts
    Honey bee
    hamster    May 30, 2010  

    Hi Bees! I'm just starting my officiant search, and I noticed that a lot of the officiants who got great reviews in my metro area were women.  I'm not surprised either way, but in the stereotypical movie wedding scene, most officiants are men.  I was wondering if you would be having a male or female officiant?  Did gender play a factor at all in your officiant choice? (Beee honest!)

     

     

     
    2.
    Member
    2,099 posts
    Buzzing bee
    caitlanc    September 12, 2009   Western Slope of Colorado

    Gender didn't really play a factor for us.  We wanted someone who knew both of us well, would be a good public speaker and who would respect our differences in religion (he is, I'm not).  We ended up asking my new uncle.  (He married my aunt last summer so weddings were convieniently near the top of his brain anyways.)   

     
    3.
    Member
    1,191 posts
    Bumble bee
    budgetbeautiful    9/26/09   Fredericksburg, VA

    We're having a male officiant. Gender didn't play a factor. Both he and his wife are ordained, so if it did, I could have her as our officiant. His prices are reasonable and he lives in the same town we're getting married in, so that's why we booked him.

     
    4.
    Member
    625 posts
    Busy bee
    kara    September 26, 2009   Northern VA/Cincinnati OH

    My Uncle is a minister so we're using him!  I think however, if you click with the person and think they will do a good job, gender shouldn't matter! :)

     
    5.
    Member
    740 posts
    Busy bee
    minneapolitan    11/7/2009   Minneapolis, MN

    Our pastor is a woman!  I'm excited about her, she's absolutely wonderful.  Gender honestly did play a ltitle bit of a factor for me -- I felt a teeensy bit weird having my dad walk me down the aisle to my new husband and being married by a male pastor.  For some (completely inexplicable) reason I sort of prefer female pastors and knew I'd feel more at ease, more comfortable, etc.  Nothing against male pastors of course, I just really can't describe it. 

    Luckily she is my FI's favorite pastor at the church, too, so it was no problem!

     
    6.
    Member
    3,122 posts
    Sugar bee
    tessabella76    September 12, 2009   Ohio

    We are having my super awesome sister-in-law officiate. She's in the process of get her certificate online and filing it with the state.

    We asked her to do it for several reasons. 1) We are not a member of any church-not to say we are not religious/spirtual but we come from different backgrounds-he was raised Methodist and I was raised Catholic. And we've yet to find a church that we both feel comfortable in. 2) We are both shy when it comes to people we don't know, so we didn't want to hire any old Rent-A-Reverend. We will feel much more comfortable with it being someone that knows us and loves us. 3) We didn't want it to be our parents-they already have their "roles" to play. Out of the three brothers between us that are coming to the wedding-they are all quiet types that aren't comfortable talking in front of big groups of people.

    We tossed around  the idea of some family friends doing it but none seemed to work out. In the end, it just kind of hit me to ask my SIL. She is very outgoing, very sentimental, and she has been a part of my family for over 25 years. In fact, next week she and my brother will be celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary. And I was a flower girl in their wedding (there is 12 years difference between me and my oldest brother). She was so happy she cried when we asked her. It means so much to us that she will be the one to officiate our wedding.

    So to answer your questino (sorry so long!) gender didn't really play a role. We just wanted someone that knows us well and loves us and my SIL fit the bill perfectly.

     
    7.
    Member
    743 posts
    Busy bee
    WDWBride    March 3, 2010   Walt Disney World

    My baby brother will be our officant. He has done one wedding and one vow renewal. I am so excited!!

     
    8.
    Member
    2,961 posts
    Sugar bee
    RoddyBride09    September 5, 2009   Bethlehem, PA

    We are having a female and it will be my G'Ma. She marries people in Florida and was eligible to marry us so we found it more personal to have her be the officiant. So obviously, gender did was not a factor for us :)

     
    9.
    Member
    358 posts
    Helper bee
    mklove    April 24, 2009   Exton, Pa

    We got married in a catholic church so ours was male.  We loved our priest!

     
    10.
    Hostess
    5,480 posts
    Bee Keeper
    Jessie516    May 16, 2009   Ann Arbor, MI

    Gender didn't really play a role in our search for an officiant.  Once it became clear that we weren't getting married in a church (various reasons), we wanted to find an officiant who was special to us.  A friend/coworker whom I have known for many years (who was in the process of being ordained) offered to perform our ceremony.  We couldn't have been happier to have her!

     
    11.
    Member Icon
    Member
    345 posts
    Helper bee
    HoneyBunny       Florida

    My Grandaddy is going to be ours. He is asked by his church to teach classes and give sermons a lot, plus he is just a really good public speaker. Lol I just hope he doesn't say anything too embarassing about me, I need to let him know most officiants let the couple know what they are planning to say I have a feeling he thinks it is supposed to be a suprise.

    Oh and he is a Notary Public so we don't have to worry about him taking a class or anything which is a plus.

     
    12.
    Member
    6,643 posts
    Bee Keeper
    artbee    February 28, 2010  

    we're having a male, our rabbi. he's new at our temple so we're excited because we're planning on staying at the temple, have our kids grow up there, it'll be a good start for our relationship with him if he marries us. plus so far we think he's pretty awesome.

     
    13.
    Hostess
    1,913 posts
    Buzzing bee
    IA_Snowflake    August 29, 2009   Missouri Valley, IA

    We're just using a Justice of the Peace.  She happened to be female.

     
    14.
    Member
    921 posts
    Busy bee
    DaisyBride    June 1, 2009  

    Both :) 

    A male christian officient and a female jewish officient

     
    15.
    Hostess
    800 posts
    Busy bee
    LittleBear    June 28, 2009   Chicago/beach wedding in NC

    gender did not play a roll in our decision. We were considering a woman in the area till we found out a family friend (male) would be able to perform the ceremony.

     
    16.
    Bee
    6,210 posts
    Bee Keeper
    elephant    April 2011  

    Our very close female family friend will be doing our ceremony.  She used to be our church pastor for 10 years. 

     
    17.
    Member
    274 posts
    Helper bee
    Miss Paris    June 19, 2010   Paris, France

    We are Catholic so our officiant is a male priest...We really didn't have much of a choice in the matter :)  However, we will be having a civil ceremony the day before our church ceremony (you cannot be legally married in a church in France, a civil ceremony must precede), so maybe the mayoral representative will be a woman?!  I guess we don't have much of a choice there either...

     
    18.
    14,581 posts
    Honey
    Beekeeper
    ejs4y8    June 20, 2009  

    Male, but only b/c he is who was available. We chose the "preferred" minister for the locaiton we got married at. We just wanted him to be nice and not pushy.

     
    19.
    Member
    1,864 posts
    Buzzing bee
    mary-alice-me    May 24, 2009   Kentucky

    We didn't have a preference, we just used the JOP recommended by our venue. We really liked him, so we didn't look further.

     
    20.
    Member
    607 posts
    Busy bee
    Gator      

    My aunt (father's cousin actually) will be marrying us. Shes great and has already married a cousin of mine.  My fiance isn't religious so she'll be able to mix some religious stuff in there without insulting anyone. We're excited!

     
    21.
    Member
    1,829 posts
    Buzzing bee
    thefuturemrsjewell    August 7, 2010   Washington DC

    Gender wasn't an issue for us... it was more about finding the right person.  We ended up asking a friend who lived in London while we were living there and now we all live in DC, so we felt he was the friend and person who knew us as a couple the best- and he's just an amazing guy.  We can't wait! 

     
    22.
    Hostess
    2,704 posts
    Sugar bee
    KateMW    8.30.03   Birmingham

    Our officiant is my best friend! She's also a Presbyterian minister, so she's performing the "real" Presbyterian vow renewal service...I had no idea there was one until she told me! :) I'm so excited!

     
    23.
    Member
    183 posts
    Blushing bee
    Hobochic    9/25/09   Hoboken, NJ

    I found the same thing as well when I was doing our officiant search!   I was looking for someone with a bit of personality - man or woman didn't matter, but I don't remember seeing a single male.  

    I would recommend our officiant to you...but she's only licensed in NJ.

     
    24.
    Member
    3,096 posts
    Sugar bee
    SanDiegoAli    September 18, 2010   San Diego

    FI would prefer a male, I don't care either way.  We haven't booked with anyone yet so - we'll see!

     
    25.
    Member
    177 posts
    Blushing bee
    L breezy    10/03/09   Chicago

    gender wasn't an issue for us.  my FI best friend's dad is a judge and he is marrying us. 

     
    26.
    Member
    1,393 posts
    Bumble bee
    Gilneas    October 10, 2010   NJ

    Our officiant is female.  I don't know if gender played a roll, but we met two officiants in person, talked to one on the phone, and had a meeting scheduled with another - who were all female.  But I am also in the same area as you, Wheresmydessert (metro NYC), and it is true, the vast majority of independent officiants are female.

     
    27.
    Member
    3,921 posts
    Honey bee
    krissybee    October 15, 2011   :: chicago IL ::

    we are catholic so a male priest.. def no say in the matter :)

     
    28.
    1,250 posts
    Bumble bee
    LovestheBear    July 2011  

    My uncle is a pastor, and there's no one else I'd rather have up there. 

     
    29.
    Bee Icon
    Bee
    5,565 posts
    Bee Keeper
    bruschetta    August 29, 2009   Philadelphia

    Catholic church = priest = male Wink

     
    30.
    Member
    376 posts
    Helper bee
    mechiebaby    June 4, 2010   Malaysia / Washington DC

    Hindu priest = male ... no choice but thats ok!

     
    31.
    Member
    3,094 posts
    Sugar bee
    2dBride    October 6, 2009   Washington, DC.

    Gender didn't factor into it for us.  We needed to find a rabbi in Massachusetts who would officiate at a same-sex interfaith wedding.  (And we live in DC, not MA.)  That was challenging enough without worrying about gender!

     
    32.
    Member
    123 posts
    Blushing bee
    goldenbear    10/10/2009   Los Angeles

    Ours is female.  She is so easy-going and flexible- perfect for us!

     
    33.
    Member
    394 posts
    Helper bee
    TheDivineMissE    October 24, 2009   Eugene, OR

    My daddy! :) Yay!

     
    34.
    Member
    967 posts
    Busy bee
    futuredrbraun    May 15, 2010  

    One of our great friends is going to marry us - he just got his degree in Divinity and will be ordained before our wedding (ours will be his first). We didn't really talk about gender because we knew that he was going to marry us, but I don't think that it would be a big deal either way.

     
    35.
    Member
    2,526 posts
    Sugar bee
    GaBGal    September 25, 2010  

    Bruschetta -- I was about to type my answer the exact same way you did! Lol

     
    36.
    Member
    2,985 posts
    Sugar bee
    Jenniphyr    February 2, 2013   Alberta, Canada

    Gender isn't playing a role in our decision...but we both want someone who is close to us and is accepting and willing of our decision to do this completely non-religiously -- also, s/he must have fun planning the ceremony with us! =) So far one of my friends is at the head of the pack.

     

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