(Closed) Are you having kids at your wedding? How do you not invite them?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 4
Member
8697 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

My mom and I were just talking about this a few hours ago. She said she was going to put on the invitation “no children.” I told her she couldnt do that bc it’s tacky. However, I will be reaching out to the (few) people with smaller children that are local to kindly ask them if they can find a babysitter for the evening. Thankfully most of my quests either dont have small kids or would not bring them. Now for FI’s family it’s a whole other issue. They are ALL out of state and most of them are single parents with smaller children so we dont know what to say?

Post # 5
Member
398 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I am saying “Adult Reception”

Post # 7
Member
8697 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@undercover92:  Whoa! I wouldnt know what to say about that either. The problem is that if you allow one to bring their kids it opens a can of worms…

Post # 8
Member
817 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013 - Mansion House at the MD Zoo

You just don’t invite them. Very simple. On our reply cards I put “we have reserved __ places in your honor” just so people would get the message. Just a caution: be very black and white about how you do this to try to minimize offense. IE only kids over X age, only children of people in the wedding, no one under 18, only cousins, whatever. Just make sure it’s clear. We invited only aunts/uncles and first cousins which magically made it so no one under 15 is invited. No kids of friends, kids of cousins, etc.

Post # 9
Member
18 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2013

We are inviting children because there’s only a couple of people we know with kids and they’re all well behaved and we know them. And because our venue will let us have kids for free, so we don’t have to pay for their food or anything.

But I really don’t think there’s any problem with stating you don’t want children there. I’ve been to four weddings recently, three of which children were invited to – and all three ended up with young babies in the ceremony. And in all three of those weddings, a baby cried during the ceremony.

You could write something on the invitation like “We kindly request that that only adults attend the wedding”.

Post # 10
Member
260 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I have no clue what to say either.. I have 3 cousins who all have 3 to 4 children under the age of 9. I’m not real close to their children, but since they’re local my dad says I should invite the kids because they’re family. Grrrrr idk what to do!

Post # 11
Member
10454 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

@soontobeMrsBoo:  This exactly. 50 kids is A LOT!

Post # 12
Member
1681 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@soontobeMrsBoo:  +1

 

@undercover92:  For our invitation, the reception card says “Our adult guests are invited to continue the celebratation at….”

The envelopes only state the individuals who ARE invited, and the reservation cards have a line for each guest’s food choice. 

I hope our guests understand that children aren’t invited!

Post # 13
Member
1465 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I am not having children PERIOD because I dont want them bumping into guest and running around making guest feel they should have stayed home. My wedding and reception are late but my invitations will say ” We are choosing not to have children attend we ask guest to respect our wishes”.

Post # 14
Member
149 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Geez thats a lot of kids.. well I WAS gonna say that most parents know better to bring their children to a wedding .. but i guess if they came to ur sis’ then they will to yours. SO RUDE!!! I dont understand why on earth parents would want to bring their kids.. don’t they want a night off and dont they know kids are annoying when they are running around all over the place and being loud. Weddings esp the reception should not have kids.. its a time to celebrate with adults. For us , in the RSVP we wrote # of adults attending: __ .  and most understood, there was one couple who opted not to come because they wanted to bring their newborn and we said no.. but it wasn’t a biggy for us and they didnt take it personal since they didn’t allow kids at theirs. Try the rsvp thing and then maybe try talking to them. if they dont understand that’s their loss tell them to stay home with the kids! its ur day , you get to invite the guests you want.

Post # 15
Member
1304 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Our wedding was a 3hr drive from where we live, and most guests spent the night in the area.  So, everyone was invited to a barbecue the night before, and a brunch the morning after.  The RSVP card listed all three events and said, “Children are welcome at the barbecue and brunch. Please indicate how many people will attend each event.”  That made it pretty clear that they were not invited to the actual wedding.  If we’d had a more conventional schedule, though, I would have just left their names off the envelope.  Most people in my social circle know what that means and plan accordingly.

Post # 16
Member
3 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: June 2014

you can put somehing like,”young adults over the age of __ only.”

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