(Closed) Are you inviting someone to your wedding just to avoid hard feelings?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
177 posts
Blushing bee

Are you sure she won’t come?

I traveled 6 hours for an old friends wedding and after the fact she made it sound like a surprise that I came, almost like a bad surprise. I wish I knew she didn’t expect me, I would have saved a trip!

If it’s only one person and she doesn’t know a lot of your other guests, you’ll probably be fine. It’s one less thing to stress about. 🙂

Post # 4
Member
126 posts
Blushing bee

It sucks!! I’m having to invite someone I seriously do not want at my wedding but she’s the best man’s wife so apparently I can’t not invite her. It seems unfair 🙁

Post # 5
Member
622 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I have an aunt who is very conflicting with a lot of the family (she and I personally do not get along).  She’s extremely brash, has back-handed compliments, argues with everyone, talks AT you rather than TO you, and frankly…she smells.  Really, she does, the woman does not use deodorant and wears the same clothes she had in high school (She’s 54 now).  Needless to say, she is an odd duck… or a black sheep.

My family is okay (and some are glad) that she isn’t being invited to the wedding reception.  I feel like I have to invite her to the ceremony because it is in a church, and I don’t feel like it is my “right” to not include someone in God’s house/place of worship.  Otherwise, I wouldn’t…period.

Ah, not to mention she didn’t approve of me getting engaged so “quickly” (after a year)… This is coming from a woman who has never married, never dated, and never been kissed.  She has yet to congratulate my fiance and I on our engagement, and she ignores him.  

Yeah, she’s a gem.

Post # 6
Member
1328 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I’m inviting all my ex co-workers because I want to invite two, but they all work together.  I don’t want anyone to know i didn’t want them there.  Burned bridges in the corporate world aren’t so great

Post # 7
Member
140 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’m inviting my mom’s side of the family to avoid hard feelings, but really none of us want them there lol

Post # 8
Member
6824 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I am inviting a sorta friend who knows if she will come or not.  She is invited to the bridal shower and bachelorette to but we will see if she actually will show up.

Post # 9
Hostess
16217 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I totally have a few obligation guests. It stinks, but I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, for sure. It’s made a little easier by the fact that we’ve got a pretty spacious venue.

Post # 10
Member
279 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Yep. I’m inviting about 10 people that I don’t want to invite just to not cause drama. I’m hoping they won’t show. If they do, I just plan on ignoring them. 

Post # 11
Member
509 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

definitely, we each have one we have to invite, but really hope won’t come so they won’t make a scene.

Post # 12
Member
14503 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I am inviiting my sister under protest, but if she shows up with her dog then out she goes.  I wish guest lists could only be those we really want there, but I don’t want to create any family problems in the process.

Post # 13
Member
2161 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

We’re inviting some of my fiance’s parents friends.   I probably wouldn’t go for that under normal circumstances, but know it would mean a lot to them.   They have been so great to us and don’t have a lot of family.

Post # 14
Member
1161 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I invited FMIL best friends and their adult children (!) to appease her (three of the 6 people are coming–and they are all travelling from Chicago).

I invited my dad’s recently widowed sunday school teacher (also a former coworker of my mom) and a guy that he watches basketball games with (!) to appease my dad (all three of them are coming).

With less than three weeks til the wedding, it looks like I may be inviting one of my stepfather’s brothers (I haven’t seen this person since I was about 7) and his wife and 17 year old son to appease my stepfather.  I can only hope they won’t come.

 

Still, I managed to keep the “yeses” to about 55 adults and 7 kids (if we weren’t having a wedding in another state this number would be painfully large), and for me inviting those few people to keep the peace was worth it.

Post # 15
Member
2142 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

A few in my family. and friends groups. A couple hometown “friends” that I don’t really care for my mom guilted me into it as we used to spend time together when I lived there. I was able to keep most of that to a minimum, thankfully. Most of my mom’s family I haven’t met or at least seen since my grandma’s funeral 7 years ago. My dad’s sister is being strongly encouraged by my family not to come- which 100% alright with me.

Post # 16
Member
339 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Yep – my dad’s wife. I can’t stand her (she told me she was going to stab me in my sleep once…), but she generally plays nice now and if I want my dad to come, she’s gotta be there too.  I’m just going to focus on the fact that I’ll be able to ignore her the entire day and be surrounded by people I *do* love.

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