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I'm just wondering if other people are inviting the Priest who will marry them to the reception? I don't know him very well, but we're meeting in a few weeks to discuss ceremony details and I'm wondering if we should. It'll be a nice meal so would he appreciate it as a thank you for marrying us? Obviously, we wouldn't expect a gift from him
From what I understand, you're supposed to invite the priest to your reception. Ours doesn't know us from a hole in the wall because we're from out of state, so I doubt he'll come, but we were told by FI's parents that the priest would be offended if he wasn't invited. They said normally the priest just stops by the cocktail hour, then he does a blessing before dinner is served, and he usually leaves.
he's officiating his friend's daughter's wedding that evening so he wont be able to attend. otherwise, we would have invited him.
Our Parish Priest is marrying us so obviously we know him very well and he is a great guy aswell so we are 100% inviting him. Unfortunately though, as our wedding is on a Sunday he may well be too busy to come- but we've got our fingers crossed! I know it's the 'norm' to invite the Priest who marries you, but I'm not sure with your situation where you don't really know him. I probably would- if he doesn't know you or your guests he probably wouldn't stay for dinner.
Arg. We don't know the priest marrying us very well since he is a Catholic priest that will be marrying us outside the church we had to do some searching. He is married too! So he even said on his website that he expects his wife to be able to come too. Unconventional all over the board!
Yes, and I'm sure he'll come. A lot of the church's parishioners will be at the reception and he loves to talk.... And our priest likes to have a few drinks ;o)
@baletrina: wait wait wait... what? if he's married then he is NOT a priest. if you're expecting a MARRIED priest to be marrying you outside without dispensation, please know that it will not be a "catholic" wedding where you receive the sacrament. i hope this doesn't come off as snarky, i'm just trying to be clear! -_-;
Thanks for the responses. I think I'll be bringing an invite to our meeting.
@FutureMrsMaher: We go to a huge parish and neither of our families go there so we know him, but very casually (ie handshake after church before leaving).
Anymore thoughts/responses appreciated :)
@elliestan: I'm not sure about in the U.S but here in the UK there are now some married Catholic Priests because the Vatican allowed Anglican Priests who are married and may even have children, to join the church should they so wish. My parish Priest tells me there's a married Priest in a nearby town to me, which I find a bit weird but guess it just takes a bit of getting used to!
@elliestan: It is definitely a good idea to make sure that he is a real priest, not a rent-a-priest. That being said, their are married Catholic priests. Eastern Rite priests (who are under the authority of Rome) can be married. Here's one example: http://remnantofremnant.blogspot.com/
But, baletrina if you found him online...there's a good chance he isn't a priest in good standing with the Church. If that is something that is important to you, you might want to confirm with his diocese.
@jedeve: yeah the website piece is what threw me into thinking he was a rent-a-priest!
@elliestan: He practiced in Mexico and met his wife there. And like @FutureMrsMaher: said he explains the rule about Catholic priests getting married. He is actually a friend of a friend's priest(at her church, he's in good standing with the diocese) and the ceremony will not be sanctioned by the church. To me that is not an issue since FI and I are both non-practicing Catholics and I always wanted to get married outside. It is the FMIL that is putting up the stink about us not getting married in a church and this is my way of "meeting halfway." ;) Believe me I have talked to many priests, including my cousin, deacons, consulted Vatican websites, etc. I have to reassure my FI that our future children will be accepted by the church and will not go to Hell. Headache!
We're inviting both priests and the deacon who will be marrying us. One of the priests and the deacon we absolutely love!! The other priest is our Pastor and while he's not necessarily a bad guy he's kind of a pain, but he IS our "home" Pastor.
I was married by a married priest. Yes, he is a real priest--once a priest, always a priest. No, he does not have clerical duties (since he was married), although his wife has passed away so he could if he wanted to. We were not married in a church so it is not a valid Catholic wedding.
I sent him an invitation like any other guest. He stayed for cocktail hour and dinner.
Here's a question... where do you seat him? My fiance and I are the only ones who even casually know our priest (our families live elsewhere). We are inviting him as a nice gesture, but if he accepts, next I'll be worrying about where he should sit!
It seems like seating him at a table with either your parents or FI's parents or both, depending on how your seating arrangement is, would be best. I know in my case, I will definitely seat him at my parents' table because my dad is a deacon.
we did, but then again my husband uncle married us as well as a good friend that his parents sponsered through seminary.
we did our pre-marriage meetings with the deacon at our parish since my husbands uncle lives in OK. i invited him and his wife as well for taking their time to meet with us but they opted not to come.
i dont think its a rule or anything, but its kind to put the invite out there, he may not come anyway.
I think its a nice thing to do if your venue and budget have the space. We will invite him to the rehursal dinner of course as well as the reception.
Yes you should invite your priest.
We are inviting ours, and he will be sitting with my parents. Even if he wasn't a family friend I think it is the polite thing to do. The most important part of the wedding day is when you become husband and wife and the priest is the one to do that - in my opinion that is the greatest gift you will get on your wedding day!
We were going to but we both forgot. Actually I thought DH was going to invite him, DH thought I was going to invite him. OOPS!
@nzgirl: Well said ....
Yes you should invite your priest.We are inviting ours, and he will be sitting with my parents. Even if he wasn't a family friend I think it is the polite thing to do. The most important part of the wedding day is when you become husband and wife and the priest is the one to do that - in my opinion that is the greatest gift you will get on your wedding day
Ours has a 4pm mass and then a 6pm mass in the village next to us after our wedding. We may invite him anyway, but he will probably only make it to the rehearsal dinner.
We are going to invite our Priest, and send him a formal invitation in the mail, even if he might not attend. He is the Pastor so he may be busy with other duties). We do not know him personally but he is our celebrant which in my eyes is so important.. the reason for the whole celebration.
Yes, but that's because he is also a close friend of my FI's.
Yes, we didn't know him that well but it was a good gesture. And we see him now when we go to church so I felt I did the right thing. He ended up coming to the cocktail hour and then left. He had a great time!
We're inviting the pastor (who is the pastor of the church I'm a member at) AND his wife. Of course, dont' have to worry about that part with a catholic priest I guess.
We are inviting our priest and he will sit at our table - we will have the 6 people in the wedding party and him. He is a very good friend of ours, although I have actually only ever seen him conduct mass once, during my confirmation. He is a principal at a school (where my FI went) and so only does somewhat private masses mostly.
We often have him over for dinner also, so its a very unusual situation.
Yes we are inviting our Priest. he is a close family friend of my In-Laws, so he will sit with them at the reception. Kinda funny but he reminds me of Bill Murray, so I keep waiting for the jokes to come out. I'm still waiting...
I hadn't even thought about this... he wouldn't be able to come anyway though because we have a Saturday wedding & he has a service after our ceremony. But, we haven't known him very long (just since we got engaged) and I'm not Catholic, so it kind of makes me uncomfortable, and I want to feel comfortable at my reception.
We did! It was soo great, many people loved it. (They're always in their cassocks) One had to leave to attend to a sickly man. The other two were there all evening chatting with our guests even some that weren't Catholic came up to chat with them.
We did! It was soo great, many people loved it. (They're always in their cassocks) One had to leave to attend to a sickly man. The other two were there all evening chatting with our guests even some that weren't Catholic came up to chat with them.
Our priest is a personal friend so yes, we're inviting him. When he got the invitation, he texted me saying "what? did you think I wasn't going to come?" Even if he wasn't a friend, most priests are used to chatting up with strangers so I wouldn't worry too much about where to seat him. Also, it's nice for him to be there bless the food at the reception.
I just got involved in the church about 6 months ago. The priest that normally says mass is on vacation during our wedding, so the other priest will do our wedding. I wouldn't say he knew me personally before we started meeting with him, but we invited him to the reception anyway. He actually kindly turned us down. He said receptions are weird for priests because they don't marry and after the grace, they don't really have much to do.
Basically, I think it depends on the priest and his personality. Our other priest is really relaxed and more happy go lucky. I think he would have come to the reception. Our head priest is more reserved. I guess you can just put it out there and invite him. Leave it open for them. We told our priest we had a seat for him. He could come or not, whatever he felt comfortable wiht.
Wow I had no idea that so many people invited their priest! This didn't even occur to me! I don't think we are, but now it seems strange that we're not!
We invited ours and asked him to say grace for before dinner. We know him quite well, as he also did our Marriage Prep Classes with us.
Our minister just kinda invited herself. I am secretly glad she did because I would have never known she wanted to come!
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