Post # 1
I am usually pretty level headed – and I usually don’t use this to post emotional rants but today is special. I have been contacted by a wife of one of our groomsmen asking questions about what the guys will be wearing. We have decided that they will be buying their outfits since they could do so for half the price of renting and KEEP THE OUTFIT! Yay!
It was a khaki suit too – very easy to re-wear. So I HUNTED FOR ABOUT TWO WEEKS straight. Like, literally I spent every waking moment desperately searching for a style, cut, color of suit that fit into a modest price range. I FINALLY FOUND ONE! I emailed it to my Fiance. He has had barely any other responisibilities in this huge event so I thought – what harm could letting him dress his G-men be? He forwarded out the email…and if he didn’t know their emails – instead of CALLING THEM he used their facebook emails…not like – sent it to their messenger via facebook but … (I’m degressing).
Every week since I ask him if he has checked on them. (It’s been about four) He said he didn’t want them to buy vests so he went and did that… so those are bought. Great. But pants?!? Nope. The bestman is the only man who has an outfit. THE ONLY ONE. Not even my Fiance has his whole outfit. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!>!>! omg. I am about to have a stroke because it gets worse.
I was so worried about him getting these soon because I literally watched one suit go out-of-stock in the two week time period I was searching. I told him this when I showed him the suits. I told him that everyone is going to need to have them as soon as possible and that if that meant us buying them then we could do that – BUT WE WOULD NEED TO KNOW SIZES – so he would obviously have to contact him.
ANYWAYS – so the wife of a g-man contacted me and I forwarded her the original email with all of the links. Examples of shoes, belts, dress shirts and the direct links to the vest and pants. I clicked through them to make sure they were all still current and found I needed to update the belts. Out of curiousity I clicked the pants link and *breathes* they have doubled in price. This is not a joke.
So the pants that I originally found now equal what they would have originally paid for the entire suit. I am so upset. this is all his fault – he was so laid back and didn’t call anyone. I am seething right now. How do I explain to him what happened? How do I tell him this is all his fault? How do I express to him that THIS ONE TASK he has failed at and we might end up having guys in mismatched outfits because of it?!?! No way – over my dead body…just. no.
I seriously want to tell him he will front the cost for these guys. We don’t technically have the budget for it – but seriously, I don’t know what else to do. I don’t know how to react. I want to freak out….GAH!
But of course, he has been able to stay in touch DAILY with his bestman about his Bachelor party…he showed me links and dates and ideas this morning for it. I want to strangle something…
Post # 3
@suburbian: Geez, I am so sorry!
I’m having a similar problem, though it is not nearly as severe as yours. I would just tell him like it is and explain to him what has happened. I doubt it will make him change the way he handles stuff for the wedding in the future. I’m also not opposed to suggesting he pay for the suits because you did everything you were supposed to do
Post # 4
Oh, that sucks! I normally am a huge believer of his friends = his responsibility. But in this case, especially since items are potentially selling out, action needs to be taken. If you know their wives/SOs, call them. Clearly, he hasn’t called them in 4 weeks, it’s unlikely he will now on his own. I would ask him for the phone #s and call yourself. It may be that you’ll have to front the cost of the suits so you can get them ordered, and hope you get paid back. If no one had ordered the suit yet, I’d take different steps, but you already have vests for everyone and at least 1 full suit done.
Post # 5
*hugs*…try not to kill your Fiance (although im sure you want) remember you need him for the wedding ;))) GL lady, i hope you find a solution soon
Post # 6
I know he has the reciept for the vests – but I don’t know if he kept good track of it – and for the g-man I would have no clue.
I just didn’t want to be the nag – but every single week would pass and I knew he hadn’t done a damn thing about it. I KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN!
I don’t want to be a brideszilla – but I seriously don’t know how to talk to him about this without losing control.
Post # 7
I would let him handle it. He knew it was his responsibility to have all the guys in matching outfits, let him take care of the legwork. If he ends up having to buy something more expensive or rent something at the very last minute then that’s too bad for his groomsmen but no reason you should have to stress over it. But I would definitely tell him he’s on his own about it, since you’ve begun doing work on the problem he needs to know you’re no longer involved. And then you get to relax 🙂
Post # 8
@jennmariee: I think I am going to reqord your statement a little and send it right to him.
Just tell him I don’t care how he makes it happen – but everyone will be in matching khaki suits. The rest will be up to him.
Post # 9
@suburbian: I don’t blame you for being mad. I also understand why this is emotional, and may be taking away your clear headed thinking abilities. So, I just want to say breathe. There is nothing you can do about it now. Yes, your Fiance was a useless lump who is making you do everything. But we can’t stress the things we can’t control.
I am going to hazard a guess that the g-men outfits are NOT going to be the biggest part of your day, and I am also going to guess that you won’t even notice. You will be so wrapped up in your love (remember, you do love him, lol) and the meaning of the day that clothes will NOT matter. Certainly not enough to stress you or your budget.
Khakis are easy to match. Would it be the end of the world if they wore khaki pants that weren’t exactly the same? Would anyone even be able to tell?
ETA: just saw that you are considering leaving this up to him. Again. Hon, that is something you can control. You’ve heard the expression, fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me? If he isn’t interested in this part of the day (and his actions have proven he is not, regardless of what his words said) then you need to handle it or else you will end up with more stress.
Post # 10
@suburbian: take a deep breath honey. He screwed up with the suits. You know what? The groomsmen are the groom’s responsibility, not yours, so if they are mismatched it’s no reflection on you. Don’t spend more than you had budgeted for. It’s not worth it. Concentrate on yourself and your bridesmaids. You don’t need any added stress.
Post # 11
My first text to him said this “*breathing calmly* Have you looked online at those pants lately?”
OK – So now I am sending this:
“Here’s the thing. I am letting you handle this. You knew it was your responsibility to have all the guys in dressed, so now I am going to let you take care of the legwork.
If you end up having to buy something more expensive or rent something at the very last minute then that’s too bad for you and/or your groomsmen but there is no reason I should have to stress over it at all.
You are officially on your own about it and I am no longer involved. All 6 of you will be in matching khaki pants and vests – I don’t care how it gets done. This is your area now. 🙂 “
Post # 12
@BoxerLady: and @Aquaria: Thanks you guys for your kind words. I seriously need to just breathe lol!
Post # 13
@suburbian: Have you looked at http://www.studiosuits.com ?
Thet can get a khaki vest and pants for $89
Post # 14
@suburbian: Honestly, this is why IDGAF when someone calls me controlling & “rushing things” because at least I get sh:t done!..especially when it comes to money.
This is such a typical man move, at least the ones I know. It’s like they have no idea how stuff works.
When we book vacations, it takes him 3 weeks to make a decision and by the time he does the tickets i suggested have tripled in price (just as it happened with the pants)…so…after I rambled for way too long, I’d like to say that:
You should detach yourself and forget about this and let him handle it. It was his one and only job, and he messed up, it is up to him to fix it – it is not your problem how much anyone pays for what or how they get the stuff they need. Take a bubble bath, have some wine with candlelight and just let it go. You don’t deserve to worry about this too.
Your post is making me re-think leaving the suit picking/buying/whatever to FH because I have a sour feeling I will be in your same shoes very soon.
Post # 15
@julies1949: I didn’t see them before – I just checked and the outfit would only be ten dollars cheaer then how I found it currently. I seriously found a deal before and the vest and pants would have cost $75 total. The vest here is 40 and the pants are 70. I will keep it in mind and depending on what happens I will mention it to him.
@Mimoza: Why do they do this to us?!?! lol I have literally figured out everything else (to be faair he works a lot). But I have done catering, tent rental, dressed everyone else, flowers, decor, etc etc etc.
All I wanted was for you to do the suits.
Starting feel bad about the text now – I don’t usually talk like that…lol But GD – I was upset!
Post # 16
@suburbian: I don’t know, I really don’t. I think it goes back to how they were brought up….and their mother (yes; this applies to my man).
What’s this about a text? Did you send something not-so-nice in a moment of rage? 😛