Post # 1
Now that I’m pkanning a wedding, here are some things I have been guilty of in the past that I didn’t even know were wrong!
1. I brough an uninvited date to a weddind (added him to RSVP card because I assumed dates were allowed. duh!)
2. Not bringing a gift or a card to a family member’s wedding (due to confusion about a group gift!)
3. Not RSVPing to a bridal shower (I thought that was just for people who were coming!)
So…I’m officially an idiot! Anyone else? I felt bad at first, but instead of feeling guilting, I’m transferring the energy into forgiveness for my mismannered guests who might not know better.
Post # 3
Funny you posted this…I was JUST thinking the other day about something I did in college at a wedding.
This is so horrible, but I remember attending a wedding with my boyfriend at the time. There was a relatively big gap in between the ceremony and the reception. For some reason, by the time the reception came around, we decided that we’d rather go out with two of our friends someplace else (they were also invited to the wedding) and we all didn’t show up to the reception until nearly the end of the night to get a few drinks! I can’t believe we did that! We missed an entire sit down dinner that they paid for!
Post # 4
Hm… I can’t really remember off-hand any particularly bad behavior I’ve engaged in. +1s are pretty standard in my family, so my dates were always invited. The only thing I can think of that I cringe about a little now is that when I was young (maybe 8ish?) my cousin was getting married and I REALLY wanted to be in the wedding and I remember when I went with my mom, her, and her mom to the fabric store to pick out fabric for her bridesmaid’s dresses (my grandma was making them), they asked my opinion and I made some comment like “why would i care its not like I’M in the wedding”. crinnnnnge. They did then ask me to be a junior bridesmaid and I was of course thrilled. I kind of don’t worry about it too much though because I was a kid, ya know. Kids say dumb/rude things. 🙂
Post # 5
oh you evil person you!
Karma will bite us in the ass! And I think we better just forgive and forget because that’s what our friends had to do for us.
Post # 6
I have failed to send back rsvps, because I figured my verbal “oh I’m so excited to come!” was enough. Yikes! I have also asked to bring a date that wasn’t invited, but to be fair it was after I was engaged, so I feel like they were rude first by not inviting my FI, and I was put in an awkward position. I wasn’t just going to rsvp “no” without any explanation.
Post # 7
When I was 22 my cousin got married, but because I was doing a promotional tour at the time, I couldn’t come to the wedding. Now, I’d like to point out I never received an invitation; at 22 my cousin still lumped me in with “and family” on my paretns (unless she just didn’t invite me?). Anyway, it was understood that I would not be attending HOWEVER, 2 days before the wedding, our travel schedule changed and low and behold I found myself in Pittsburgh for the tour the day of her wedding. Not only did I go, but I brought a male friend (not even a boyfriend, just my buddy). I’m horrified to recall it now, but at the time I thought nothing of it. I’m not sure if I just didn’t think there was anything wrong with it or iff I assumed my mom would take care of it…either way my friend and I totally crashed her wedding. And I didn’t bring a gift or card. For that, I think my excuse was that like with the invitation, I was still considered part of my parents party.
Also, I don’t think I’ve returned an RSVP card for anything. Ever.
Post # 8
I’ve never really been to a formal wedding before, so starting planning I found out a lot of things I thought were okay are really not…Like a lot of people are really against cash bars (just an example).
Mostly I would say I’m still just going to do what works for me and my fiance and our families. Screw anyone who wants to talk about us.
Post # 9
I never did anything really bad I don’t think, but I didn’t RSVP to my friends bridal shower and she had to call me to find out. I’m sure it just was annoying and added to her stress. In my defense, I really wanted to go, but it would have been a 5 hour drive to get there. I had lost my job and was expecting a job offer to come through. I didn’t have a lot of money since I’d been out of one for a while, and I didn’t want to go to it without a gift. So I was waiting til the absolute last minute to RSVP. In the end I had to say no because I didn’t get the offer until a week after the shower and felt awful about it. She got a bigger wedding present than she would have otherwise though!
Post # 10
I’ve waited till the last minute to send in my rsvp cards.. but that’s about as bad as it gets for me… I’m getting that back 4 fold – and that was just shower invites. I’m not looking foward to wedding rsvp cards…! Thats why I’m giving myself extra time to make phone calls after the date!
Post # 11
oo i just thought of something else i did!! a few years ago another cousin of mine (male) got married and when he was telling me about the wedding plans he mentioned it was going to be a dry wedding bc his wife’s family didn’t drink and I definitely made some kind of comment about how did he expect us to dance without alcohol and was it ok if we brought flasks, etc. Which now i’m like omg that might have made him feel badly! but on the other hand he IS a guy and he totally laughed it off and said he’d be supplying flasks to the groomsman so hopefully he wasn’t actually offended.
Post # 12
I have not sent a few RSVP cards back that I feel bad about. I have also skimped on gifts a little bit more than I should have, but I was also a poor college student at the time.
Post # 13
Oh yeah, I used to be a wedding idiot.
Lets see I have…
Not returned probably a couple RSVP cards.
Told someone the week before their wedding that my BF and I weren’t coming because of school. I think she was actually glad because we saved her $100 or so. But still, that’s terrible.
Left just after the parent dances. I was middle school age and with my parents at that one, so I had no control over it.
Didn’t bring a gift to the wedding when I was a bridesmaid, because I didn’t realize the bridal party should bring a gift.
It all makes me hate myself a little bit. On this note, I love Mrs. Cupcakes blog about Post Wedding Vows. She has so many awesome points! I know I will be such a better wedding guest from now on.
Post # 14
When I was younger, FMIL “got” me invited to a few weddings. One of them I’m assuming she talked to the bride about me going in FSIL’s place, and the other I’m not sure if the bride actually thought of inviting me, or if she got pressured. I feel bad!
Post # 15
I haven’t done anything terribly egregious, but I have definitely been a little bit of a slacker on RSVPs (either sending them later than I should, or thinking that verbally telling the person “yeah, I’ll be there!” was good enough – now I know if you’re hearing back from hundreds of people its impossible to keep track of that!) I’ll definitely be a much better guest in the future.
Post # 16
I’ve also added a +1 to my RSVP card (it was my FI, so I thought he would naturally be invited to accompany me… this was VERY early on in our engagement so I had no idea about wedding etiquette)!
Also, I was invited to a wedding a few years ago and I couldn’t attend, so I didn’t send a gift (DOH!). I DID send a card though if that counts for something!