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Are you okay with your fiance going to a strip club for his bachelor party?

posted 1 year ago in Grooms/men
  • 1 Members Subscribed To Topic
  • poll: Are you fine with your fiance going to a strip club for his bachelor party?
    Not at all. : (207 votes)
    38 %
    I'm totally fine with it! : (182 votes)
    33 %
    I'm okay with him going, but no lap dances! : (79 votes)
    14 %
    He can go, but it makes me uneasy. : (73 votes)
    13 %
    Other: Explain! : (7 votes)
    1 %
  •  
    1.
    Member
    347 posts
    Helper bee
    Ahone    September 19, 2011  

    Okay, since strip clubs and bachelor parties seem to be a heated topic of conversation, I decided to make a poll on this.  I'm just curious about the results, and I'm sure others are too. Thanks!

     
    2.
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    Bee Keeper
    totheislnds    February 12, 2011   NC

    luckily FH isnt a fan of strip clubs, i think the only times he has gone were with me...not that im a fan of strip clubs but sometimes our friends tend to end up there if its been a crazy night...  i just dont really a problem with it.

     
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    Bumble
    Beekeeper
    KatNYC2011    September 24, 2011   London, UK (american expat)

    FI has never even been to a strip club. I doubt he'd go for his bachelor party, but if it is what he wanted to do, I'd be totally fine with it. I've told him he should go to one at some point, since he's never even been.

     
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    Beekeeper
    PitBulLover    August 21, 2010  

    DH doesnt enjoy strip clubs that much but I wouldnt care if he went as long as he didnt get a lap dance. Unless he was with me of course :-)

     
    5.
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    Sugar bee
    Entangled    September 17, 2011   Carmel, CA

    I said other - I am totally fine with it.  He is not OK with it - he will go to strip clubs for other people's bachelor parties, but is very uncomfortable and has walked out a couple of times.  So my being 100% sure no problem is tempered by the fact that it's not an issue I actually have to contend with.

    He is also not OK with ME going - he has told me I am not allowed to have male or female strippers at my bachelorette party.  Boo!  (but I am going to respect his wishes)

     
    6.
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    Sugar bee
    teaadntoast    04/23/2010   New York, NY

    Nope.

     
    7.
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    Sugar bee
    sloth    May 14, 2011   Philadelphia, PA

    I'm fine with it but he has no desire to go to one. At the last bachelor party he went to, he went bar hopping with the guys and then went home when the rest of them went to the strip club.

     
    8.
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    Sugar bee
    missjyc    September 18, 2010   macomb, michigan

    im fine with it. he went for an hour, had 2 lap dances. then came back to the casino and gambled all night. i have more of an issue with what he lost gambling, than the hour at the strip club. LOL it was more for his friends to have a "guys night' out" and typical bachelor party of golfin, boozing, strip clubbin, and gambling.

    plus i went to vegas for 4 days with my girls. he didn't have a problem with that. why should i give him a hard time about 1 day in town?

    we did make sure to have a conversation about it weeks before the bach/bach party wknd. communication is key :)

     
    9.
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    Bumble bee
    jayce    December 10, 2010  

    It wouldn't bother me, but then again he's not a huge fan of strip clubs. He'll go along with friends once in a while when an occasion calls for it. That's totally fine with me. I must say though, if he was like, "OMG, I love strippers!!! I'm going to spend all my money on lap dances!!!" then we'd definitely have a problem!

     
    10.
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    Bumble bee
    arenyth    May 14, 2011   planning in CA, wedding in NJ

    Nope, I trust my guy enough that if he wants to go out with his friends and have a good time at the strip club, that's cool with me. I've also been to one with him and he bought me a dance, so now I know what all the hubbub is about :)

     
    11.
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    Helper bee
    catalyst    May 21, 2010  

    Nope. Mine can go on a golf trip to Scotland or a ski trip in Denver or party it up in Vegas. One of his friends had a whitewater rafting/camping weekend for his bachelor party.  This is a new generation. There are many more options than strip clubs and bars.

    He wouldn't be comfortable with me donning a g-string and dancing in strange men's laps at my bachelorette party and I'm not comfie with him having strange nude women in his lap. We will be planning fun getaways with our closest friends and having the time of our lives with the people who mean the most to us.  You can definitely have an amazing time minus the strip clubs.

     
    12.
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    339 posts
    Helper bee
    marieta    April 2, 2012   San Diego

    I'm not fine with it, but I'm also not worried about it, because FI doesn't like them.  He wouldn't agree to go to one.

     
    13.
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    2,882 posts
    Sugar bee
    rachaelrobin    January 16, 2011   Philadelphia

    No, I am not.

     
    14.
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    79 posts
    Worker bee
    Mrs.G-McD    January 29, 2011   Miami, FL

    I voted that I'm ok with it but no lap dances. My FH asked and so did one of his groomsmen if going to a strip club was allowed. I told him yes, but was very clear on what I would NOT be ok with. I also made sure to tell his friend who will be the one coordinating it. I'm good friends with him and I think they will both be pretty good about sticking to the "rules". lol, FH doesn't have to worry about me since I'm not fond of bachlorette parties that include strippers or strip clubs. That's just me though.

     
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    Buzzing
    Beekeeper
    CorgiTales    February 1, 2011  

    I'm fine with it but my FI has never been to one and has no interest. It just skeeves him out and he hates being the center of attention anyways. He wants to go to a casino for his bachelor party :) 

     
    16.
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    515 posts
    Busy bee
    bride2beIn2012    February 12, 2011  

    Ok with it but probably because he won't go

     
    17.
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    527 posts
    Busy bee
    Ms. Purple    May 22, 2010   Toronto, Ontario

    I'm fine with strip clubs, but my hubby's bachelor party didn't involve any.  He has gone for other people's bachelor parties or if someone just gotten engaged and i'm fine with that.

     
    18.
    5,478 posts
    Bee Keeper
    lilyfaith    June 23, 2012   Lakeview, Chicago

    Doesn't bother me, but I can't say if that's because he's never wanted to go or not... I'm sure I'd feel differently if it was a problem (every weekend) or not a special occasion like a bachelor party. 

     
    19.
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    131 posts
    Blushing bee
    blossom_bee    January 8, 2011   Australia

    No. Happily my FI and I share the same moral values about this issue. His cousin brought up the subject of the buck's party/'traditional' visit to a strip club, and he asked why he would willing degrade himself in public, be a participant in the degradation of another woman, and degrade me by going to such a place only weeks before offering up himself to love and life-long fidelity. Just another reason to love him.

     
    20.
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    888 posts
    Busy bee
    artichokey    June 16, 2012  

    Neither of us have ever been and he really doesn't want to. I think it might be fun to go together, but since he's not interested it's not really an issue. I would feel uneasy if he were to go with just his guy friends though. We have a relationship in which we are comfortable watching anything and everything together and we definitely experiement. I think it would be really weird and uncomfortable to have him experience that without me. It's absolutely not a trust issue, more of an 'if you're going to be there and watching and getting turned on, I want to be there too!'

     
    21.
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    Buzzing bee
    Minutiae    May 2011  

    Eh, not really. I won't forbid him from going, but I'm not comfortable with it. I went to a strip club with him once and it wasn't a good experience. There's nothing amazing about strip clubs (or the strippers for that matter...ha), they're just trashy places.

    @catalyst: That's what my fiance did for his first bachelor party, whitewater rafting! They had a great time. :)

     
    22.
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    Newbee
    Bug29    December 3, 2011   Colorado

    @blossom_bee: My fiance and I feel the same way.

     
    23.
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    343 posts
    Helper bee
    qui40067    July 3, 2011  

    I am NOT okay with it for his bachelor party - but I am okay with a random visit to the strip club. FI doesn't really like them though - he always quotes Dave Chappelle, "I've never had a smart lap dance." lol!!!

    The reason I'm not okay with it is because when a groom-to-be gets taken to a strip club for a bachelor party, he gets a whole different level of attention than he would on a random Saturday night. Things are much more likely to escalate past a point where I'd be comfortable and IMO it's pretty much just a recipe for disaster that I'd rather not deal with.

     
    24.
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    1,864 posts
    Buzzing bee
    egb    January 2010  

    I am not fine with it, but in the end it is his choice and I know he won't do anything he shouldn't do. But, if his friends wanted to drag him there, I know he'd go (he has difficulty saying no to people), and I wouldn't want him to have to tell his friends that I don't let him do things. He would never be the one suggesting it though, and knowing that I'm against this type of entertainment, that makes it even less propable it would happen.

    I was lucky because since we had a very small DW with no bridal party, and our day to day life is mostly the two of us (we have friends but don't see them often); the bachelor thing came at the very last minute, so very few guys could make it and it was a nice evening of dinner and drinks (as far as I know!)

     
    25.
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    181 posts
    Blushing bee
    Miss Yoga Pants    December 8, 2012   Central IL

    I am fine with him going, but I have to admit the attention he would get because it is his bachelor party makes me wonder if he would want to.  We went to a strip club together so I could see what it was like and I had the full experience.  I enjoyed myself, but they way the girls treated the "bachelors" was a little bit much for me.  I'm not sure he would want to have that kind of attention, but if he does I fully trust him and know he would never do anything to compromise us.  

     
    26.
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    305 posts
    Helper bee
    Charbirdie    January 1, 1992  

    I think whatever you decide you need to draw a very clear and distinctive line for your fiance. Explaining what you are and are not cool with. I unfortunately never had that discussion and am currently TRYING to get over all the shenanigans that happened to my fiance while he was at the strip club. I was really good friends with his best man, but after what he organized I don't think I can ever look at him the same light.

     
    27.
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    272 posts
    Helper bee
    EsqBride5810    June 4, 2011   Chicago

    My fiance has never been in a strip club before and says they kind of gross him out (women taking clothes off just to get money and all that).  But I really wouldn't care.  I'm secure enough in our relationship that I don't give a hoot if some stripper is getting naked in front of him or dancing on his lap or whatever.  She's got nothin' on me!  ;)

     
    28.
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    Bee Keeper
    oracle    October 23, 2010   Los Angeles

    Hell's no.  

     
    29.
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    Buzzing bee
    Koala Bear       Ontario, Canada

    I have absolutely no problem with it. I try not to limit the things he can do with his friends, cause honestly why should i stand in the way from him having a good time. of course i expect the same from him, i get to have all the fun with my girls. as long as he doesn't end up in jail or in the hospital its all good!

     
    30.
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    Busy bee
    rlsh86    January 29, 2011   Florida

    no, i wouldn't be ok with it.  thankfully, neither me nor my husband has never been to a strip club.  i couldn't marry someone who thinks he needs to celebrate being maried to me by watching some other woman take off all her clothes...what sense does that make?

     
    31.
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    878 posts
    Busy bee
    NauticalBride2011    August 27, 2011  

    I'm not a huge fans of strip clubs, but I am not going to protest if they go to a strip club for his bachelor party.  He has also seen his friends get humiliated at their bachelor parties, so I'm not 100% sure he even wants to.  Either way...I know it happens during bachelor parties, and he never goes to them absent the bachelor party thing.  Strip clubs will not be part of the bachelorette party....instead it's going to be at jazz fest in nola!  Much cooler :)

     
    32.
    Member
    1,356 posts
    Bumble bee
    Jaxx317    July 17, 2011   Brooklyn, NY/wedding in the Hudson Valley

    no, def. not.

     
    33.
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    1 posts
    Wannabee
    ladybug85    June 12, 2012  

    Not at all. I used to think that I would be fine with it. However, FH has spent a lot of time in strip clubs. He has dated a stripper and has had numerous sexual encounters in strip clubs so I am not ok with him going due to his history. His friends may think I am lame for not allowing it but I really don't see how it is 'normal' to say yes I want to spend the rest of my life with you but not before I watch naked women dance!

     
    34.
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    35 posts
    Newbee
    Ms.Mocha       Illinois

    BF told me the only time he would go is if his brother wanted to take him before he got married. I don't like the idea, but I trust him.

     
    35.
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    101 posts
    Blushing bee
    kmurphy13    May 29, 2011   Fitchburg, Massachusetts

    I voted "not at all" ...not because I don't trust him because he has gone for other grooms-to-be; I just don't agree with this barbaric tradition - what a way to start a "marriage"?  In addition, I think it's a HUGE waste of money.  He's absolutely not the strip-club type and he feels weird at strip clubs anyway...the only reason he goes is because it's the "thing" to do.  Our friends do a lot of weekend camping/fishing/drinking adventures for hundreds less than what it costs to rent a party bus and go to a strip club for a night.  We actually might do a couples weekend to Florida or NY and rent a large house for a couple days...much better use for everyone's money with better memories!

     
    36.
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    2,007 posts
    Buzzing bee
    Belle2Be      

    No strip clubs or the like for FI. He had several years before he met me to get rid of his shinanagainry (Laughingnice made up word LOL) and there's no logical reason for it.

     
    37.
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    3,285 posts
    Sugar bee
    Mrs Sarah McK    October 10, 2010   Harrisburg, PA

    I used to cocktail in a very popular strip club when I lived in NOLA, so I have a different perception of them. They don't bother me in the least. My husband and I have gone to a couple together (one of our dearest friends had ended a 7 year relationship right before his birthday, and we wanted to give him a lap dance, but wanted to find the right club). 

    When DH's best man and brothers were planning his bachelor party, I sent them an email telling them I was okay with them taking him to a strip club. Really I didn't care what they did so long as he didn't end up jail or the hospital. I trust him explicitly. They ended up going down to Atlantic City, and thought about going to a strip club, but the line to get in was too long, so they hit the casino up instead. 

     
    38.
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    2,007 posts
    Buzzing bee
    Belle2Be      

    @Mrs Sarah McK: I'm curious as to what you assume others perceptions are?

    Strip clubs vary by state, in VA, for example, they are called bikini bars because the girls very literally wear bikinis and hooker heels. In CA, depending on your county, they can be topless to completely naked to somewhat clothed.

    In ALL strip clubs, the intent is to sexually arouse. My man has me, he doesn't need to go somewhere else to watch a girl dance provocatively on a pole, whether naked or fully clothed.

     
    39.
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    Sugar bee
    meliss    May 31, 2010   Los Angeles, CA

    @Belle2Be: *claps* I get so happy when another poster explains so well what I think.

     
    40.
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    Buzzing bee
     

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