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Okay, since strip clubs and bachelor parties seem to be a heated topic of conversation, I decided to make a poll on this. I'm just curious about the results, and I'm sure others are too. Thanks!
luckily FH isnt a fan of strip clubs, i think the only times he has gone were with me...not that im a fan of strip clubs but sometimes our friends tend to end up there if its been a crazy night... i just dont really a problem with it.
FI has never even been to a strip club. I doubt he'd go for his bachelor party, but if it is what he wanted to do, I'd be totally fine with it. I've told him he should go to one at some point, since he's never even been.
DH doesnt enjoy strip clubs that much but I wouldnt care if he went as long as he didnt get a lap dance. Unless he was with me of course :-)
I said other - I am totally fine with it. He is not OK with it - he will go to strip clubs for other people's bachelor parties, but is very uncomfortable and has walked out a couple of times. So my being 100% sure no problem is tempered by the fact that it's not an issue I actually have to contend with.
He is also not OK with ME going - he has told me I am not allowed to have male or female strippers at my bachelorette party. Boo! (but I am going to respect his wishes)
I'm fine with it but he has no desire to go to one. At the last bachelor party he went to, he went bar hopping with the guys and then went home when the rest of them went to the strip club.
im fine with it. he went for an hour, had 2 lap dances. then came back to the casino and gambled all night. i have more of an issue with what he lost gambling, than the hour at the strip club. LOL it was more for his friends to have a "guys night' out" and typical bachelor party of golfin, boozing, strip clubbin, and gambling.
plus i went to vegas for 4 days with my girls. he didn't have a problem with that. why should i give him a hard time about 1 day in town?
we did make sure to have a conversation about it weeks before the bach/bach party wknd. communication is key :)
It wouldn't bother me, but then again he's not a huge fan of strip clubs. He'll go along with friends once in a while when an occasion calls for it. That's totally fine with me. I must say though, if he was like, "OMG, I love strippers!!! I'm going to spend all my money on lap dances!!!" then we'd definitely have a problem!
Nope, I trust my guy enough that if he wants to go out with his friends and have a good time at the strip club, that's cool with me. I've also been to one with him and he bought me a dance, so now I know what all the hubbub is about :)
Nope. Mine can go on a golf trip to Scotland or a ski trip in Denver or party it up in Vegas. One of his friends had a whitewater rafting/camping weekend for his bachelor party. This is a new generation. There are many more options than strip clubs and bars.
He wouldn't be comfortable with me donning a g-string and dancing in strange men's laps at my bachelorette party and I'm not comfie with him having strange nude women in his lap. We will be planning fun getaways with our closest friends and having the time of our lives with the people who mean the most to us. You can definitely have an amazing time minus the strip clubs.
I'm not fine with it, but I'm also not worried about it, because FI doesn't like them. He wouldn't agree to go to one.
I voted that I'm ok with it but no lap dances. My FH asked and so did one of his groomsmen if going to a strip club was allowed. I told him yes, but was very clear on what I would NOT be ok with. I also made sure to tell his friend who will be the one coordinating it. I'm good friends with him and I think they will both be pretty good about sticking to the "rules". lol, FH doesn't have to worry about me since I'm not fond of bachlorette parties that include strippers or strip clubs. That's just me though.
I'm fine with it but my FI has never been to one and has no interest. It just skeeves him out and he hates being the center of attention anyways. He wants to go to a casino for his bachelor party :)
I'm fine with strip clubs, but my hubby's bachelor party didn't involve any. He has gone for other people's bachelor parties or if someone just gotten engaged and i'm fine with that.
Doesn't bother me, but I can't say if that's because he's never wanted to go or not... I'm sure I'd feel differently if it was a problem (every weekend) or not a special occasion like a bachelor party.
No. Happily my FI and I share the same moral values about this issue. His cousin brought up the subject of the buck's party/'traditional' visit to a strip club, and he asked why he would willing degrade himself in public, be a participant in the degradation of another woman, and degrade me by going to such a place only weeks before offering up himself to love and life-long fidelity. Just another reason to love him.
Neither of us have ever been and he really doesn't want to. I think it might be fun to go together, but since he's not interested it's not really an issue. I would feel uneasy if he were to go with just his guy friends though. We have a relationship in which we are comfortable watching anything and everything together and we definitely experiement. I think it would be really weird and uncomfortable to have him experience that without me. It's absolutely not a trust issue, more of an 'if you're going to be there and watching and getting turned on, I want to be there too!'
Eh, not really. I won't forbid him from going, but I'm not comfortable with it. I went to a strip club with him once and it wasn't a good experience. There's nothing amazing about strip clubs (or the strippers for that matter...ha), they're just trashy places.
@catalyst: That's what my fiance did for his first bachelor party, whitewater rafting! They had a great time. :)
I am NOT okay with it for his bachelor party - but I am okay with a random visit to the strip club. FI doesn't really like them though - he always quotes Dave Chappelle, "I've never had a smart lap dance." lol!!!
The reason I'm not okay with it is because when a groom-to-be gets taken to a strip club for a bachelor party, he gets a whole different level of attention than he would on a random Saturday night. Things are much more likely to escalate past a point where I'd be comfortable and IMO it's pretty much just a recipe for disaster that I'd rather not deal with.
I am not fine with it, but in the end it is his choice and I know he won't do anything he shouldn't do. But, if his friends wanted to drag him there, I know he'd go (he has difficulty saying no to people), and I wouldn't want him to have to tell his friends that I don't let him do things. He would never be the one suggesting it though, and knowing that I'm against this type of entertainment, that makes it even less propable it would happen.
I was lucky because since we had a very small DW with no bridal party, and our day to day life is mostly the two of us (we have friends but don't see them often); the bachelor thing came at the very last minute, so very few guys could make it and it was a nice evening of dinner and drinks (as far as I know!)
I am fine with him going, but I have to admit the attention he would get because it is his bachelor party makes me wonder if he would want to. We went to a strip club together so I could see what it was like and I had the full experience. I enjoyed myself, but they way the girls treated the "bachelors" was a little bit much for me. I'm not sure he would want to have that kind of attention, but if he does I fully trust him and know he would never do anything to compromise us.
I think whatever you decide you need to draw a very clear and distinctive line for your fiance. Explaining what you are and are not cool with. I unfortunately never had that discussion and am currently TRYING to get over all the shenanigans that happened to my fiance while he was at the strip club. I was really good friends with his best man, but after what he organized I don't think I can ever look at him the same light.
My fiance has never been in a strip club before and says they kind of gross him out (women taking clothes off just to get money and all that). But I really wouldn't care. I'm secure enough in our relationship that I don't give a hoot if some stripper is getting naked in front of him or dancing on his lap or whatever. She's got nothin' on me! ;)
I have absolutely no problem with it. I try not to limit the things he can do with his friends, cause honestly why should i stand in the way from him having a good time. of course i expect the same from him, i get to have all the fun with my girls. as long as he doesn't end up in jail or in the hospital its all good!
no, i wouldn't be ok with it. thankfully, neither me nor my husband has never been to a strip club. i couldn't marry someone who thinks he needs to celebrate being maried to me by watching some other woman take off all her clothes...what sense does that make?
I'm not a huge fans of strip clubs, but I am not going to protest if they go to a strip club for his bachelor party. He has also seen his friends get humiliated at their bachelor parties, so I'm not 100% sure he even wants to. Either way...I know it happens during bachelor parties, and he never goes to them absent the bachelor party thing. Strip clubs will not be part of the bachelorette party....instead it's going to be at jazz fest in nola! Much cooler :)
Not at all. I used to think that I would be fine with it. However, FH has spent a lot of time in strip clubs. He has dated a stripper and has had numerous sexual encounters in strip clubs so I am not ok with him going due to his history. His friends may think I am lame for not allowing it but I really don't see how it is 'normal' to say yes I want to spend the rest of my life with you but not before I watch naked women dance!
BF told me the only time he would go is if his brother wanted to take him before he got married. I don't like the idea, but I trust him.
I voted "not at all" ...not because I don't trust him because he has gone for other grooms-to-be; I just don't agree with this barbaric tradition - what a way to start a "marriage"? In addition, I think it's a HUGE waste of money. He's absolutely not the strip-club type and he feels weird at strip clubs anyway...the only reason he goes is because it's the "thing" to do. Our friends do a lot of weekend camping/fishing/drinking adventures for hundreds less than what it costs to rent a party bus and go to a strip club for a night. We actually might do a couples weekend to Florida or NY and rent a large house for a couple days...much better use for everyone's money with better memories!
No strip clubs or the like for FI. He had several years before he met me to get rid of his shinanagainry (
nice made up word LOL) and there's no logical reason for it.
I used to cocktail in a very popular strip club when I lived in NOLA, so I have a different perception of them. They don't bother me in the least. My husband and I have gone to a couple together (one of our dearest friends had ended a 7 year relationship right before his birthday, and we wanted to give him a lap dance, but wanted to find the right club).
When DH's best man and brothers were planning his bachelor party, I sent them an email telling them I was okay with them taking him to a strip club. Really I didn't care what they did so long as he didn't end up jail or the hospital. I trust him explicitly. They ended up going down to Atlantic City, and thought about going to a strip club, but the line to get in was too long, so they hit the casino up instead.
@Mrs Sarah McK: I'm curious as to what you assume others perceptions are?
Strip clubs vary by state, in VA, for example, they are called bikini bars because the girls very literally wear bikinis and hooker heels. In CA, depending on your county, they can be topless to completely naked to somewhat clothed.
In ALL strip clubs, the intent is to sexually arouse. My man has me, he doesn't need to go somewhere else to watch a girl dance provocatively on a pole, whether naked or fully clothed.
@Belle2Be: *claps* I get so happy when another poster explains so well what I think.
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