(Closed) Are you one of those people that “can’t say no?”

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m in the same boat. This is one of the reasons I was initially attracted to him, but one of my biggest frustrations. What we did that really helped is made Sunday ‘our’ day.  We seriously don’t plan anything on those days and it really hasn’t taken too much of a toll on either of us. We don’t even do anything super cool…it’s just nice to have a day where you’re already committed to each other even if someone invites you somewhere or asks for your help 2 months in advance. It also gives us each some time to just rest and relax (a lot of our sundays are just spent on the couch watching movies or shopping…nothing too tiring) to recover from our busy weeks. In general, I think it’s helped our relationship a lot. I know one day isn’t a lot but it’s better than never or random. 🙂

Post # 5
2584 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Yes, my Fiance is very much like this. He had some issues with his family and he just wouldn’t stand up to them, even though the situation was ridiculously unfair to him no matter how you look at it. He always offers to help people even if it’s at a time we could’ve potentially seen each other (we’re in a LDR see each other maybe once every two weeks)- he sees it as, if he made plans with someone else first he has to keep his word.

His dependability and desire to help people made me like him initially… now it drives me crazy sometimes! lol

Post # 7
2699 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I can’t say no either. Then when I find myself stuck doing something I didn’t want to, I moan. It’s a really attractive quality!!

On behalf of your FI’s…it’s a horrible feeling to say no to people if they want something from you and if you don’t have a decent pair of balls then even when you manage to say no, you feel bad about it after! I know it’s annoying though! It’s just really hard to say no!

Post # 8
2263 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Darling Husband has learned to say no but he sure wasn’t like that when we were first together. I remember him driving 6 hours one way on a weekend just to be in family photos for his grandmother. Since then, he’s seen that being a people pleaser isn’t the best thing in the world for our relationship and only says yes when it doesn’t take time away from me or when it’s absolutely necessary. 

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being a people pleaser, but you def. can’t let it control your life or determine how or when you do something. 

Post # 9
2820 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

FH isn’t really the type that “can’t say no”, but he does hate getting into situations where someone might be “mad” at him. Personally, I’m learning how, but I’m still a bit of a marshmallow, especially when I get called in for a shift at work!

Post # 10
915 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I feel like a lot of guys are like this. Plus I don’t think they think of “oh wait, this will mean less quality time with my girl” haha. My Fiance does this too, but he does schedule it around my schedule, like if I am off he won’t want to do it….

Post # 12
2158 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I feel like you just told the story of my weekend!!

Fiance and I live an hour apart, and I asked him to come see me this weekend so we could meet with our baker.  But he wanted to go to a card tournament, and has been waiting months for it, so I said he should go to that instead (but he did say he’d go with me, but I knew how much he wanted to go to the tournament).  But then it turns out someone asked him to help them move so he went and did that instead! Ugh!  If he wasn’t doing his cards, I want to see him!!!  It’s been over a week since I last saw him 🙁

So I feel your pain!

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