Weddingbee boards

question to the hive: are all brides supposed to be uber excited about their wedding? why?

i love my FI and most definitely am looking forward to spending the rest of my life with him and the commitment we are about to make.

i'm looking forward to seeing a lot of my friends again (scattered nationally and globally). but have no idea how to balance it with our families, neither of which are local. my mum just spent 20 minutes this week telling me all she wanted was to spend time with me while she was here for the week leading up to the wedding.

i'm 2 wks from our wedding date and everyone's asking me if i'm excited. all i can do is smile. there's a constant list of todos in my head - little details and tasks that have to be assigned to someone since we don't have a bridal party that automatically picks it up. my fi thinks it will all miraculously happen. He's not stepping up to offer any of his friends up for the job! it's been 3 wks and he still hasn't given me the list of formal portraits he wants with his side of the family (due this week to the photographer) nor the list of ceremony music to the dj.

i wish we were just having a simple courthouse ceremony and dinner afterwards.

is this normal? (my mum commented she didn't think i was happy planning this wedding and thinks it could mean trouble ahead for our marriage). any suggestions as to what do i do to feel that excitement that everyone expects?

All I can tell you is what i feel. I am definitely excited. But the stress sometimes puts a damper on things. And I know it's weird, but I'm actually so sick of people asking me how am I doing and am I nervous. I get asked this every day, all day by EVERYONE and I want to be like "I'm fine already! I was fine yesterday when you asked, I was fine the day before, I'm fine today, and I'll be fine tomorrow!" Is this witchy of me to think? I mean good grief though, I feel like I'm terminally ill and everyone 24/7 is just like "are you ok? are you sure you're ok?" and "are you nervous? you're not nervous? well it's okay to be nervous, I was". Aahhh! It's been really fun planning and I wouldn't trade the experience for anything but I'll be soooo glad when it's over and things go back to normal. My FI has barely helped out at all and sometimes I feel like it's all me doing this whole thing.

I think as long as you know that you want to be married to you FH then I don't think that your planning blues are abnormal or anything. Event planning is not for everyone and it's just plain stressful. Just try to hang in there, try not to worry so much because your FI is kind of right--things will be fine and tiny little details you forget or don't have time for won't be noticed by others. You're almost there and then the real reward will be here: being married to your husband!

I can defintiely relate!  You're not alone - and I agree with all the other posters.  I've had a really hard time getting excited.  And I do'nt think it signifies ANYTHING about the marriage - planning an event has nothing to do with having a successful marriage. 

I'm a lot like EJS said - I'm not really prone to levels of extreme blissed out energy or ridiculousness that I kind of associate with being excited.  I"m not the type that ever jumps up and down excited for... anything.  Doesn't mean I'm not thrilled, it's just that I don't exhibit my emotions that way.  You sound like you might be like this too, and don't sweat it.  Just smile and be honest: "I can't wait to marry him, but we've got a lot to do!"  That's usually what I say :)

thanks for all the advice ladies. i think i just need to talk to the FI and tell him he really needs to be stepping up more b/c i can't do this on my own. if it's supposed to be a partnership he needs to pull his weight too.

Im a bit more than a month out from the wedding and I am feeling the same way. Im exciting, however, it's hard to overcome that feeling when I am having constant wedding nightmares (I.e. one day to plan the wedding, hurricane during ceremony, arriving to cerermony and nothing is ready) and knowing just how much i have on my plate. Although FI's family has offered to help since they are coming into town a bit earlier and my family is all local - I still find it hard to give them tasks b/c some of them are really hands on & dont think I can delegate.

It's a weird feeling but I think the day of the wedding it will all come together. However, I do find myself when I am bitching about the wedding to shut my trap b/c I am the one who wants to details I want and I am making them happen rather than paying someone - so if I start nagging at FH, I think twice b/c that's not what we are having a wedding for - and stop to think = this is for celebration not to stress me out - so I chill out a bit & have recently gotten into F#$% IT mode - if it's dont done, it will get done or not and I just have to deal with that - Im not super woman so it is what it is.

that's a good point guava-tini. i think the interesting thing is that my fi didn't want me to be a bridezilla. i told him at the beginning i would be happy w/ a courthouse wedding and dinner. he wanted something more (tho he didn't want a big fluffy wedding). i wanted to hire a doc. he thought it was unnecessary. somehow i'm now stuck dealing with everything. i guess it's hard b/c it's not really what i wanted in the first place. but it's too late to turn back now.

just need to vent i guess and i can't really do it with others b/c i'm supposed to be this happy smiley bride. thank god for the hive!

so i just had a long talk w/ my FI. feel tons better - he's going to try and pull more weight. he says he didn't realize how much i'd been doing

We have the same wedding date. I was going to post, "I'm not excited about my wedding!" and then I saw yours! We are in the thick of it. I realized that this board thrives on the "dreaming" faze. It's super fun when you are cooking up your dream vision wedding, but for us, that's all done. Now we are in execution of said desires. I have the same bridal parties as you. I think if I asked FI for a list of portraits, he'd laugh. He goffed at me when I asked for help on the seating chart. But I think I have a particularly uninvolved FI because he is out of town. I said, "Why are you complaining about this when you are doing nothing for the wedding?" He said, "I do lots of things for the wedding." I said, "Like what?" He said, "You're putting me on the spot and I can't think of anything right now." --This, does not make me excited. I could think of fifty things I had done for the wedding in the last five minutes. That is not a good sign. The fact that you are not jumping up and down when you have many things to execute in the next two weeks is normal.

Good luck. I understand a little too well.