(Closed) are you really supposed to be excited?

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Um, that’s how I was. There were tasks to be done and things to check off my list. I was excited, but I wasn’t like, unable to contain myself jumping up and down, going insane kind of stuff.

I was so “un-excited” about my wedding that my mom actually asked me if I loved my guy and if i was sure, because I sure didn’t “sound excited”. to my mom, excited is a level of ridiculousness that I just don’t achieve on a regular basis. I haven’t been *like that* since I was a kid going to Disneyland.

I’m just a really practical person and I tend to keep my emotions under check unless I’m really angry.

Weddings are stressful–once you get your list done you’ll feel better. I didn’t get all excited with butterflies in my tummy until we go to the place and were getting ready! I had my “i’m thinking” look on my face most of the morning, so I”m not exactly smiling ear to ear in pictures, but I more so look complacent, like I’m just taking it all in =]

Post # 4
Member
948 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2018 - Coyaba Resort, Montego Bay

Planning a wedding can be overwhelming and stressful & it’s easy to let that trump all other feelings.  Try to relax, breathe, do something for yourself and enjoy these next few weeks!

Post # 5
Member
3285 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

personally, i am so excited, but i think there really is no “norm’ when it comes to your emotions!  i think you’re being very realistic and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that – it might help to talk to your mom further about your feelings and see if she can help with that task delegation. 

Post # 6
Member
388 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

For starters, your mom needs to understand that being excited about your wedding does not corelate to being excited about getting married.

I have a feeling that you are excited though, why else would you have 600+ posts on a board that focuses on weddings.

This is just some pre-wedding fatigue, don’t worry about it, it will pass and then the excitement will come. I think it’s incredibly normal, and everyone goes through it to some extent.

Post # 7
Member
937 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

All I can tell you is what i feel. I am definitely excited. But the stress sometimes puts a damper on things. And I know it’s weird, but I’m actually so sick of people asking me how am I doing and am I nervous. I get asked this every day, all day by EVERYONE and I want to be like “I’m fine already! I was fine yesterday when you asked, I was fine the day before, I’m fine today, and I’ll be fine tomorrow!” Is this witchy of me to think? I mean good grief though, I feel like I’m terminally ill and everyone 24/7 is just like “are you ok? are you sure you’re ok?” and “are you nervous? you’re not nervous? well it’s okay to be nervous, I was”. Aahhh! It’s been really fun planning and I wouldn’t trade the experience for anything but I’ll be soooo glad when it’s over and things go back to normal. My FI has barely helped out at all and sometimes I feel like it’s all me doing this whole thing.

I think as long as you know that you want to be married to you FH then I don’t think that your planning blues are abnormal or anything. Event planning is not for everyone and it’s just plain stressful. Just try to hang in there, try not to worry so much because your FI is kind of right–things will be fine and tiny little details you forget or don’t have time for won’t be noticed by others. You’re almost there and then the real reward will be here: being married to your husband!

Post # 8
Member
2208 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I agree with everyone else.  I am 9 days out from mine, and I am SO EXCITED inside, but I keep thinking about what else needs to be done.  Its very overwhelming, and I know you wish you’d done the courthouse, but my dad gave the best advice when I said that same thing…you are about to have the weding that, at some point along the process, was the PERFECT wedding for you.  It was perfect when you saw the overall vision.  Now that youre into the nitty gritty and small details, they get overwhelming and cloud the vision that you once had.  The day of, all you will see, again, is that initial vision and it will be perfect.  As soon as he said that, I was like “Wow…so true!” and stopped stressing (well stressing as much) about the little last minute details.  Dont focus so much on the wedding as the marriage.  And next time you get the excited question, dont immediately think of the wedding, theink of marrying your honey, THAT will bring a genuine smile to your face.  Good luck xoxo Smile

Post # 9
Member
672 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

I can defintiely relate!  You’re not alone – and I agree with all the other posters.  I’ve had a really hard time getting excited.  And I do’nt think it signifies ANYTHING about the marriage – planning an event has nothing to do with having a successful marriage. 

I’m a lot like EJS said – I’m not really prone to levels of extreme blissed out energy or ridiculousness that I kind of associate with being excited.  I”m not the type that ever jumps up and down excited for… anything.  Doesn’t mean I’m not thrilled, it’s just that I don’t exhibit my emotions that way.  You sound like you might be like this too, and don’t sweat it.  Just smile and be honest: “I can’t wait to marry him, but we’ve got a lot to do!”  That’s usually what I say 🙂

Post # 10
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Minneapolitan, that’s a great way to phrase that! All my friends were giddy and jumping up and down and clapping their hands and doing the “eeeeeee you’re getting marrieeed!!!!” thing and i’m just not like that

I’m sure you’re just overwhelmed! You KNOW that you won’t focus on the wedding as much if you don’t get your stuff done! Delegate to others; it can take a load off.

Post # 12
Member
1084 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

OK, I’m with you on the two weeks to go and stressing but once things fall into place and I’m with friends and family and the events start I think it will be great….I’m excited but right now think oh my gosh this isn’t going to work, which of course it will, it’s just how smoothly it will go.  FI has a list of fun things to do this weekend, I’m not sure he realizes that it’s wedding overdrive time, he’ll be sour about it but we’ll compromise a bit and get it done.  We have A LOT to do.  But it’s almost time for the fun to begin.

Post # 13
Member
1490 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

We’re having the city hall wedding and dinner afterwards and FI still hasn’t told the photographer which shots he’d like either. There’s still a haze of details – even though they’re fewer. We’re moving internationally too, one week after the wedding, and do you think all the to-do’s for that have happened? Hah! We’re going crazy here too and it’s clouding my excitement.

Post # 14
Member
512 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Im a bit more than a month out from the wedding and I am feeling the same way. Im exciting, however, it’s hard to overcome that feeling when I am having constant wedding nightmares (I.e. one day to plan the wedding, hurricane during ceremony, arriving to cerermony and nothing is ready) and knowing just how much i have on my plate. Although FI’s family has offered to help since they are coming into town a bit earlier and my family is all local – I still find it hard to give them tasks b/c some of them are really hands on & dont think I can delegate.

It’s a weird feeling but I think the day of the wedding it will all come together. However, I do find myself when I am bitching about the wedding to shut my trap b/c I am the one who wants to details I want and I am making them happen rather than paying someone – so if I start nagging at FH, I think twice b/c that’s not what we are having a wedding for – and stop to think = this is for celebration not to stress me out – so I chill out a bit & have recently gotten into F#$% IT mode – if it’s dont done, it will get done or not and I just have to deal with that – Im not super woman so it is what it is.

Post # 15
Member
27 posts
Newbee

Same boat. For the last few weeks, I’ve been asked about being excited and nervous and I was really just plain tired. And that’s what I told people. 🙂 I’m now 2 days out and the excitement is really hitting. It’s not like the stresses have gone away or everything is perfectly in place, I’m just excited knowing that ultimately we’re getting married and no matter what happens, nothing’s getting in the way of that. *shrug* everything has its time and place and we all deal with it in our own way. Definitely have your conversations early about expectations and delegations for others to do stuff, you don’t want a last hour breakdown on your part! 🙂

The topic ‘are you really supposed to be excited?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors