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Just curious about this. Both my parents and DH's parents make very comfortable livings, but neither of us got any money from them to pay for our tuition to go to University. It was just expected that we would save our own money, or take out student loans if necessary.
When we discussed it, we decided that we won't be paying for our childrens education, we both agree that there is benefit in taking ownership of your post secondary education and want that for our future children. Are we the only ones out there that think this way? When we discussed future plans with our accountant, he seemed surprised that when we have kids, we're not planning on opening an RESP for them.
In dealing with my husbands student loans I personally find it the responcibility of the parent to provide for their child(ren's) educations. College/University is almost of requirement to get good jobs and it's going to be even more so in 18-20 years. I plan on not saddling my kids with student loans since they suck big time, don't "build character", and basically you graduate with this cloud over your head.
There are many other ways to teach children to "own their education" than to put them in debt.
We'll be saving money for our future kids, but I doubt we will save enough to cover the whole thing for 4 years. When the time comes we will offer each child X amount for school and if they need extra they can take loans or pay for it themselves.
I paid for school myself because my mom was not able to contribute. I don't think its the parents responsibility. After everything my mom did for me my entire life, I dont think its fair to say at age 18 "oh by the way, I need $25K for the next 4 years. Ok?".
@Miss Sapphire - I totally see where your coming from, but my intention is not to put them in debt. FI and I were able to work off most of our student debt with part-time and summer jobs and graduate debt free.
Annabelle and my future step son both have college savings accounts. I would prefer to pay for as much of it as possible. My mother was not in a situation to help me and I am now saddled with 18k in student loans.
I would like to avoid that for Annabelle and jr Mr. A if possible.
While we don't plan on having kids as of now, DH and I discussed that if we ever did, that we would not pay for their higher education. Both DH and I went to college and have post-Bachelor degrees, but paid for it ourselves. We just feel that college is an adult responsibility, and that they would cherish it more and take it more seriously if they had to pay for it themselves.
I would hope my kids would not be saddled with debt. DH and I certainly weren't. We both had our undergrad paid for through scholarships because we worked hard in high school, knowing our colleges would not be paid for.
We have some debt from grad school, but that is well worth it and manageable.
@SoupyCat- we each had a few bursaries but not scholarships, and we definetely managed to graduate with a manageable debt load. I agree that it is exactly that, an adult responsibility. We have to save SOOOOOO much to be able to retire, that alone is a huge amount of our money every month!
ETA: I think another thing that factors in is the cost of PSE.... we both lived at home and went to the local University, and tuition + books wasn't more than $5000-$8000/year. I know friends who moved away or went to more expensive schools that were in a different situation
We'll definitely be paying for our kids colleges, and hopefully we'll be contributing to our nieces/nephew as well. I would hate for my kids to feel like they had to give up a great education because it was expensive.
DH and I will absolutely be saving for our childrens' college education. A college degree is becoming almost a requirement in the work force in todays world and will be even more so when my future children reach that age. College is crazy expensive and the costs are only rising. I refuse to force my child into that kind of debt just to get started in the world.
I worked part time all through college and full-time in the summers (one summer was 70+ hours a week) and that was no where near enough money to even touch the cost of college. For a kid to be able to cover the costs without graduating with tons of debt, they'd have to be able to work full-time or more. And that is no way to go through college if I could help them.
ETA: You can't really bank on kids getting scholarships. I graduated #2 in my class from one of the top HS in my whole state. I also had a ton of extra-curriculars with exective office experience. I got a half-ride to the school I attended - that still leaves a lot of money to cover in tuition, room and board. And not everyone's kid can be at the very top of their class.
@prettylizy: For us, the decision was from the fact that we knew some people that had everything paid for, and stayed in school for years because they could or did not really worked hard through college so they couldn't get good paying jobs out of college. We just felt that our parents actually helped us because we had to "fight" for everything we got.
We don't have the money to do that but I do want to do something for my son to help him to be able to get a job and start saving his own money... I'm thinking about saving as much as I can each month and putting it into a 'car fund' for him. That way he can work at 16 if he wishes and if he decides to go to college he can start saving his own money right then...I never had anyone help me but then again I got sick of college after a year and dropped out...
We're hopeful that DD will help contribute to her schooling (to help her appreciate it more, I suppose), but we do have a savings account set up for her, along with some RRSPs. We contribute monthly, but nothing extravagant (she's only 6-years-old, and we have quite a bit of time to save), but every time her piggybanks need to be purged, it goes into the account (except for maybe a bit of 'fun' money.. she's not a big spender)..
@SoupyCat: I'm the exact opposite. Because my parent's contributed to my college eduacation, I wasn't forced to work full-time during school. That allowed me to really focus on my schoolwork, take harder electives, and get involved with organizations and opportunites both on and off campus that I wouldn't have had the time or ability to do if I had to work full time.
It is that ability to focus and to get involved outside the classroom that I'm convinced got me a really good job offer in the tough economy when most of my friends / fellow students could not.
We will definitely be saving up! It obviously depends on how much we can save and how much college costs when our not-yet-born/conceived children go off to school, but we'd like to pay for their education. I think that it would be good for kids to get part time/summer jobs and use that money for part of their spending money, but in a perfect world, we would like to pay for their education.
DH and I are already saving for college and we don't even have a child yet!
@Mrs.KMM: I can see that it would be harder to work and go to school at the same time.
For DH and me, we had enough scholarships to cover everything, so our singular focus was school, so that we would keep our scholarships. I would actually not want my child to work during school, except maybe summers. (Although 10-15 hours a week as part of work study should be totally fine.) If they still needed money, we would cover them for little things, or they can take out small loans.
We're definitely going to save to try to help with as much as we can. My parents helped me a lot more with school than his parents did, but we ended up with the same amount of debt b/c he went to a state school while I went to a private college. So, we'll do what we can for them, and then anything else will be up to them.
We have two children and we are 100% paying for their post secondary education. I wouldn't want them to miss out on such a great opportunity, and I feel they will be more willing to go if it is paid for. I just think it's the responsibility of the parent to do that. Neither FI nor I have any post-secondary schooling, and although he makes over 100k a year (I'm a stay at home mom) I think the next generation will have to have some sort of degree to be able to make that kind of money, and be able to provide for themselves in the long run.
We won't have children if we think we can't fund their education. We think it is one of the most critically important aspects of becoming a successful adult. I want to be able to pay, at minimum, 75% of a public university education. If they choose to go to a more expensive school and work/take on debt, that's their choice. But, we'll have at least given them a big boost in that direction! We will only be having 1-2 children for this reason.
We have a 529 plan set up for Baby Lemon, and after a year have a quarter of University of California tuition in it! (aka. $4k) Who knows if that'll cover 2 weeks of tuition in 18 years!
My parents and Mr. Lemon's parents both paid for our higher education and Mr. Lemon had a private school bill exceeding $45k/year. I think it's very hypocritical for parents to stress and demand academic performance and getting into a Top 25 school only to tell them that they are now on their own to afford it. It's one thing if your family genuinely doesn't have the resources to afford tuition, but an odd choice if they do.
Saving for college is a definite luxury, but we're lucky not to miss the $300/month. And as our costs in daycare decrease, we add the extra to the college fund monthly, up to $700/month until Kindergarten. And if the next kid comes around, we'll do the start at the same savings point and move forward for them as well.
@Mrs.KMM: This. To the nth.
There are plenty of ways to instill maturity and responsibility in one's offspring that don't involve saddling him or her with crippling debt.
My parents always told me to go to the best school into which I was accepted and they would figure out how to pay for it. I intend to say the same to mine, should they somehow come into existence.
Mr. R is a financial guy.. so we have a crazy perspective on this. Our kids have college savings accounts, but we are saving for a different purpose.
The savings accounts we are starting for the kids will sustain them through college so that they will not have to work. These accounts will be in place just in case (knock on wood) something were to happen to either Mr. R or I, or either one of our jobs.. where we were not in the financial position to support them through school.
Borrowing money for college is cheap 3.4% for 2011-2012. On $20k, you're only looking at $680.
We will be paying off their student loans for them as graduation gifts, if of course, we are in the financial position to do so at that time, if they graduate, and for the courses that they pass.
**Edit: I'm also hoping these accounts will have enough money in them to give each of our children the opportunity to study abroad. Neither of us were able to have that experience, and I really hope that we can provide that for them!
We absolutely plan to pay for our kid(s) to go to college. I was lucky enough to have my college paid for, my husband had to live at home and work 40+ hours a week at night, plus take off several semesters, to pay for his. I can assure you I took my education every bit as seriously as my husband, because my parents raised me to be responsible (both financially and otherwise) and work hard. I had jobs every summer during high school and college, saved my money, always got good grades etc - and my parents very much wanted to allow me to graduate debt free (it would have been impossible to do so just by working part time at the college I went to) - and I greatly appreciated them doing that for me. I plan to do what I can to provide the same opportunity to my children, assuming I can do a good job raising a responsible child(ren) :)
I'm surprised that there are a few bees who dont want their kids to work while in school. I worked 3 jobs while in school and still managed to stay on deans list. It was tough, and there were a lot of tears, but I think it helped me learn to juggle priorites. Which has helped me in my career today.
@thefuturemrsrowe: "On $20k, you're only looking at $680."
Ummm....a year. Plus capitalization. Do you know how long it would take most people to pay off $20,000? A lot longer than a year. And that times 4 years? That's a lot of debt to pass off to a kid.
like many PP's, we plan on saving but we probably won't be able to save enough to pay for all of it. The biggest reason why we're waiting on having kids for another 6 years is so we have 0 debt from student loans.
We want to make it as easy as possible, even if that doesn't guarantee their whole education being paid off.
@Bostongrl25:I totally get that there is something to learn from working while in school - and is a great way to build responsibility - but I personally want my kid(s) to be able to participate in extra curriculars and really immerse themselves in student life, if they want to. I think you can learn a lot of those lessons in ways other than working your way through school - eg. if you are on a sports team or something, you still learn to juggle a lot, just different type of ball you are juggling :)
And I think one thing is obvious from this thread - we are all colored by our own experiences and many want to replicate the way we did it (or do the exact opposite!). Which I think is normal!
@Bostongrl25: i would still want my kids to work! You appreciate more, IMO.
@Bostongrl25: I think it really depends on the situation.
I worked here and there throughout college, but my parents didn't really expect it of me because 1) I was going to school for free; and 2) I was hugely involved in academics and extracurriculars.
My brother, on the other hand, went to a pricey private school and was less inclined to participate in campus activites, so my parents, in turn, were less inclined to fund his leisure income and he worked for his rent, beer money, etc.
Similarly, I'm not going to force a kid who's already putting in eight hours a week in the lab for Advanced Biochem to strap on ye olde hairnet for the sake of character building alone.
It's interesting because we each have a little different perspective.
My husband worked full time all through college and paid his tuition on his own. Got no financial help from his parents. But he's independent like that. Towards the end it got really hard money wise.
I qualified for aid and worked part time but also got help living expense wise from my family.
But we're both on the same page that we want to be able to help them out financially some but not in the capacity of a full ride. Like X $ per kid and the balance they should learn the lesson of hard work via a job or what not.
Obviously we don't want our kids to be 100s of K in debt because of college. But then again I don't think we will be able to help financially on a expensive private college education either.
@crayfish: In our situation, and with what we value, it's smarter investment wise to have the money in an account that we can access, rather than to tie the money up into an account specifically for college purposes. That way, it can be taken out without penalty for supporting them through school, if we get to that point and have hit financial hardships.
It is more important to us, for our children not to work while they are in school.
If they do have to take out loans, we will happily repay their loans when they graduate, for the classes that they passed, if we are in the position to do so.
Like I said, Mr. R is in finance, and he likes to plan out all of the most horrible situations financially, *just in case*. :)
@Janna19: Oh I agree, I don't want my future kids working 100 hours a week on top of going to school full time. I had fun in college and want them to have the same experience. I lived in the dorms all 4 years, partied, was on several committees and teams, etc. I loved college and looking back, I have no idea how I juggled everything. But I also dont think working a part time job is asking too much. Even a work study job which is normally a few hours a week. Its not just to "build character", but it teaches them lots of relevant skills which theyll need in any career they end up in.
Its interesting to see all the different perspectives. Its also scary to think about how much a college education will cost in 18 years!
@Bostongrl25: Here's the thing: working while in college is great for some people and a good lesson in being responsible. But not everyone is cut out for this. Some people struggle in school already, even without an extra job.
Some students would find themselves unable to keep up with their coursework and at greater risk of getting poor grades. Some would be forced to take less rigorous classes or go to a less challenging school. Others, depending on their natural abilities, would not be able to keep up at all.
The student's attitude and personal motivation should factor in too.
My parents believed that they did not want me to work while in college because they wanted me to be able to put all of my effort into education with no distractions. This worked out well for me. If I had been the kind of student who didn't naturally care and try hard, maybe I would have benefitted more from being forced to work for my education. It all depends on the person.. I think it is important for parents to decide this based on their specific children.
Both DH and I paid for our own college educations through work, loans, and scholarships, and plan for our future kids to do the same.
My husband comes from a first generation family that has had to work extremely hard to get where they are in life. He is adamant about our kids developing the strong work ethic that we both have.
However, if we have the financial comfort, I think I would like to do something like matching what the child contributes (through work or scholarship) dollar for dollar.
@rolling berry: I understand this. And I agree, I think all students and children are different. I was just giving my perspective.
While I do not believe that shouldering the cost of college degrees for your children is mandatory as a parent, I do feel that a parent should to all they can (realistically and resonably) to assist their children in that pursuit.
My parents were unable to pay for my college education, so I took it upon myself to pay for it in any way possible. This translated into many late nights, working 2-3 regular jobs, sandwhiched in between the occasional babysitting/music lesson/tutoring gig I could get. It wasn't easy, but I got through. I feel my hard work earning money to pay for my education made it much more valuble to me.
When I have children (in the very distant future), I do plan on assisting them financially. However, this assistance will come with very strict stipulations, much like a scholarship.
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