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It's a very old-fashioned tradition that people don't do anymore, nor is it expected. I've been to lots of weddings and only twice have they ever been in the bride's hometown and no one thought that weird in the least. I've always been told (even by the old-school proper Southern ladies) they should take place where the couple lives at the time they get married. Do what works best for you. In today's society, people move around so much that it might even be weird to get married in a hometown when you or the family hasn't been there in ages, nor do you have any other ties to that area.
I think it's actually pretty common (traditionally) because it was also common that the bride's parents were most involved in hosting/planning. If that's not the case, or if they're not insisting on a hometown wedding, then I really think it's up to the bride and groom.
I had heard this was traditional, but it wasn't a concern for us when we did our wedding planning. My husband and I paid for our wedding and I moved a lot growing up. It made more sense for us to have the wedding in OUR hometown, since it is where we met and where we live now.
that's the tradition, but i think people do what's most convenient for them now. it depends who's planning and paying for the wedding, and where the families live.
Traditionally, yes you should get married in the brides hometown. My mom is having a fit over this. I'm getting married in my fiance's hometown about 40 miles from mine. I live in my hometown and my FI lives about 2 1/2 hours away--we don't know where we will be after the wedding yet. We both love the church and his family's really involved there. I'm not crazy about the priest at my church marrying us so I don't want to get married in my hometown.
Oldest sister- married 30 miles from our hometown b/c he moved up the dated and all the churchs were booked in town.
Middle sister- married 2 hours away in the town where her and her fi lived.
Only my wedding seems to be the problem
It's the old-school way - but these days you can get married WHEREVER you want!
Huh. Very interesting.
@ejs4y8: we totally are. The wedding is in less than 60 days, and we're getting married here in NYC where we met and where we live (and where his parents live). A friend of my parents today was telling me that I could use this fact as leverage with the MIL, like, "Well, you're lucky we're not getting married in DC," which is where my parents live. I smiled and nodded, but didn't get it. Now I do! He is old-school, so it makes sense that he would have this tradition in mind.
We're getting married in my hometown, but that's totally not a rule, at least not anymore.
it is traditional, but we're actually getting married in FI's hometown, because it's where we live, and we want to be involved in the planning, whereas if we did it in my hometown my mom would plan everything :)
It IS traditional and initially my FH and I were going to ignore that and get married where we live now. My family had a fit...so hometown it is!
Hehe we're getting married in OUR hometown--we're luckily both from the same place! :) My family is old school southern though, mostly, so we would have had to get married there anyways.
i think it was once tradtion because way back in the old days, a bride left her parents house to go to her husbands home and even more way back in the old days, a bride could possibly leave her parents home and never see them again as hubby lived on the other side of the state/country ect
of course times have a'changed......
We are getting married in my hometown not totally because of tradition, but because after the wedding I will be moving 3000 miles away from my family & to a new country... his family & friends will get me on a weekly basis. My family will sadly never be as close anymore. They deserve to have me for one last hurrah!
Wedding traditions are changing all the time... do what you're comfortable with! :)
heheheh Recessionista, seems my way back in the old days story isnt so old days for you :)
I think if the bride's parents are paying for the wedding (per tradition, but no longer the norm), then the wedding customarily takes place in the bride's hometown, since this is where her parents are. My parents are paying for our wedding, but we're getting married 5 hours north of my home town of Boston, in beautiful Bar Harbor, Maine.
My dad pulled this bull line with me. Its old-fashioned and few follow it anymore. We're getting married in OUR town because this is where we met and have been living together. Inaddition, his family, our friends, and my siblings all live here too. To top it all off, the only family member of mine still living in my hometown is my dad, even my mom lives over an hour a way!
As for you, follow your gut. If you both agree on a location, then its perfect, no matter where it is. His hometown, yours, the place you live now, or a 4th or 5th place of your choosing which will make you both happy.
I think in this day and age anything goes! We got married where I live now which is 2 hours from my home town. It was difficult arranging transportation for my grandparents and my grandma didn't come cause it was too far. In the end though I was super happy with my choice to have it in the big city. It's my home now :)
People can get married wherever they want to now. There aren't those types of rules anymore. I didn't get married in my hometown because neither myself nor my father still lived there and didn't think there would be any nice places to get married there anyway. Get married wherever you want to, no one minds!
Eh, I don't think it's all that common anymore. We're getting married in the city we live in (neither of us are from here) because it's my parish, so I want to get married with my parish pastor officiating. Plus, we're paying for the wedding & planning in our current city makes more sense. FH's brother & sister-in-law got married in Sonoma (just an hour north of FH's home town) & no where near FSIL's home state because the winery was beautiful & they're foodies...and her parents paid for most of the wedding. So, I think it depends on the couple & what they want. Do what YOU want!
Yep, this is one of the (few) traditions we're following. Mostly because 1) we can't get married where I live (outside the States), 2) both of our families still live in our (mutual) childhood hometown, and 3) it's WAY cheaper to get married in hicksville, MidWest than Washington DC, where J lives. :)
My SIL's parents tried this on her when she wanted to get married where she and my brother lived, around 80 miles from our hometown. They stuck it out and had the riverside wedding they wanted with everyone they wanted there.
I live just a tad over 10,000 miles from my home town! And my FI is around 120 miles from his. If we had it in my home town, most of his family couldn't/wouldn't come, and most of the friends we want there wouldn't be able to attend either. So we're having it in London, where we live.
Around half our guests (and all of our families) will have to travel greater or lesser distances, but thankfully my immediate family are all prepared to travel halfway round the world -- and we're planning a big bash for Australian friends and relatives who couldn't make it as part of our honeymoon, so we get the best of everything.
I grew up in a small town and haven't lived there for 16 years. If I would have chosen to get married there, it would have been same wedding, different weekend. FI has lived all over, none of our family lives here, so that didn't make sense. So I lobbied for a middle ground and won. Get married where it will make you happy!
We got married in my hometown, but not because it's tradition to do it that way. It's a pretty little town and we both like it there.
We're getting married in my hometown, but not because it's tradition. We definitely weren't going to get married in NYC because of the expensive. We're both originally from about 45 minutes away from each other in upstate NY. But I grew up near a pretty major city (Albany) and FI grew up in a rural area towards Utica/Syracuse. There's nothing really out where he lives (like venues or anything)
we're actually getting married in my Mom's hometown, where she grew up... and actually at the house where she grew up, on the beach overlooking Lake Michigan, the same place that my parents got married.
But before we decided on that, we thought of tons of other destinations... seriously, you can get married anywhere you want!
That is the way it used to be... but with air-travel, etc... more readily available---you can go anywhere! I grew-up on an island in SW Florida and we are having our wedding in Savannah... That way, everyone HAS to travel to the wedding---no playing favorites! ha!
My mom just told me this a couple weeks ago...I'm just like, no. If we do end up getting married in my hometown it will be our decision. Personally, I'd rather get married in Mr.TKE's hometown.
@eloping: I guess not... I'm a throw back to the good old days, I guess! haha. Luckily flights are pretty cheap between us... around $300-$500 depending on the season. After immigration gets sorted out I'll come back a couple times a year to visit :)
We are getting married in my hometown (I am from a suburb of Minneapolis and we are getting married in St Paul). Currently, we aren't living in either of our home states but we decided to get married in my hometown because most of my family is still in MN and he is from New Hampshire and the only people that live there (or anywhere near there) are his parents. The rest of his family is in Maryland, Virginia and Wyoming and would have to fly to the wedding anyway. Plus, we are planning on living in MN after the wedding and my parents are paying for most of it.
The area I am from in Wi still follows this as a tradtion. It was the only thing I insisted on for our wedding.
Yes, it is tradition to get married in the hometown of the bride, assuming that her parents still live there. I think the tradition is that way since the bride's parents are usually footing the cost of the wedding.
We had the choice between rural WI (where my FI is from) or Minneapolis, where we both currently live. I grew up in the suburbs but never would have dreamed of having a wedding there because.. meh.
We both wanted to do it in Minneapolis, since we've lived here for so long and love it so much, nothing to do with tradition, but definitely pulled the "bride's family is all from HERE" with his relatives that wanted it to be near them. That seemed pretty effective, haha.
Hmm, I wouldn't even know where to get married if this was the case! My parents moved me to 7 different houses by the time I moved out, all in different towns. They have since moved twice already. FMIL wanted us to get married in the town we both lived in when we met, but we're choosing to marry in Chicago, where we live now.
sounds pretty old fashioned to me! i'd have to get married in a church, then have a reception in a pizza place or a gymnasium/cafeteria or something.
GOD I hope not! I'm getting ready to move a couple hours north to be with my Honey full time and I don't want to plan a wedding that would take place hours from where I live...if that's what I wanted, we could elope!
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I have been engaged since February and first heard of this today... or I think I did. Is this a tradition? If so, do a lot of people do it? How did I not know this?!