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you could shorten it....and wear it again
lol - I couldn't help myself!
on a serious note, I am actually not too sure. I have never been a BM so I haven't had this scenerio yet. I am interested in what the others have to say, or what they have done
I would donate them. Usually around prom time, they collect dresses. I would check with your local high school or Goodwill.
You could also donate them to the drama department of a local high school. My SIL did this last year with a dress that was um... not very pretty and she knew no one would want to wear it to prom. I think she said they used it for one of the ugly step-sisters in a cinderella play, lol.
I dont think you should feel obligated to keep them. The wedding is over and you will clearly never use them again so really whats the point in keeping them? Maybe say to the bride "hey I am thinking of donating the dress just wanted to check with you that its ok" just in case she might want it for I dunno a momento or something or to make a dress for a future daughter out of.
I would think you're under no obligation to keep them. I've already got one for a wedding next June, and I'm already making plans to sell it!
Chantellamus: Haha! I pretty much asked for that. Actually one of the dresses is tea length, which I wear a lot. Unfortunately, champagne/gold with a chocolate brown sash is not a staple in my wardrobe. Come to think of it, the rasberry spaghetti strap with the beaded bodice is not either....
Tessabella76: I thought of something like that, but came back to one of the same thoughts I had with selling them. Do brides expect you to keep them? I don't suppose there's any sort of sentimental attachement to BM dresses like some brides have with their wedding dress... My BM dresses were non-traditional from White House Black Market and one of the bridesmaids has already worn it again, so I don't think I can accurately gage my feelings on this.
It's possible I'm overthinking/overanalyzing this. Story of my life...
There are a ton of places that take donated dresses and turn them around to sell to girls who wouldn't be able to afford them otherwise for prom. Try googling "Fairy Godmothers" - there was one in Philadelphia, but they were full when I tried to donate to them, so I found one in AZ that I shipped my dresses to. I got a really nice letter back thanking me and served as my receipt for my tax deduction 
DaisyBride: That's hilarious! Thankfully neither of these dresses are that bad, just not something I will wear again. I wonder how the bride felt about that...
Lovespearls: That's a good idea. I believe I may end up going that route.
BridetoBee2010: You are on top of things! No clutter in your closets!
Mlkeysock: Thanks for the idea. I love the name of that place. I'll have to see if we have something like that around here....I haven't heard of anything other than Goodwill.
Oh, and I don't think most brides expect you to keep them unless they were super practical. I've been in 7 weddings, and I've kept 2. They were black dresses, and fun, and I think I'll wear them again sometime! The others weren't so wearable again, so off they went to Fairy Godmothers of Flagstaff! I told a few of my girls about them (and I was in their weddings too) and they boxed up all of their dresses and sent them too...so I don't think you'll offend a bride if you donate them. Unless she seriously said, "The best thing about it is, you could shorten them and wear them again!"
I donated the ones I've worn. They just weren't my style or flattering colors, so I didnt feel like I'd ever get any use out of them. I wondered if maybe someone else might like them. I know there are organizations that take formal dress donations so HS girls can wear them for proms.
mlkeysock: Thankfully, I don't think they expected them to be worn again. Though the bride from the wedding with the tea lenght dress did say something about wearing it again. I thougt she was kidding at the time....I really hope she was....hmmm...
I agree with those who have suggested that you donate to an organzation which provides prom dresses for low-income families. Since you didn't pay for them, it's not like you have anything to recooperate. Make a girl's night wonderful and donate it! Even if you can't find one of those organizations in your area, donating it to Goodwill would be a worthy effort as well. :)
You are under no obligation to keep them (reminds me of KH in "27 Dresses"). I say sell or donate them. I don't think there's anything wrong with either. If nothing else, they can be recycled as halloween costumes (I've done this before). I personally would not tell the brides that you are doing this unless you think they might want teh dresses. Otherwise it might just unnecessarily hurt their feelings. I think it's just an unspoken thing that no one really loves their BM dresses but you tell the bride you do (unless you're my snarky MOH) and then complain about it to the rest of the BP later :)
I don't think any brides really expect their BM to keep their dresses. I agree with the others, you can donate them to any organization that accepts this type of dress for girls to wear to prom, or any Goodwill or Salvation army where some girls may go looking for a dress for a formal occasion.
Thanks everyone! I believe that donating them wins! Now to decide where... :)
From a bride's perspective, I really didn't expect my bridesmaids to keep their dresses forever, but I was definitely hurt when all three of them left their dresses in a soggy heap at my house the morning after the wedding. It was like they couldn't wait to dump them! I wish it had been handled with more grace. I thought the dresses were pretty. So I guess my advice would be that you don't have to keep it, but also don't throw it in the bride's face that you aren't keeping it.
Forgot to mention - I also heard of a bridesmaid keeping the dress and using it to make the satin edge of a baby blanket for the bride when she has her first child. I always thought that was a very sweet idea, so if the bride is very sentimental and you are crafty that's one idea for what to do with the dress!
I've donated mine. The first one was floor-length and red and gave me a rash, so I doubt the bride expected me to keep it. The second I'm still thinking about because I love the dress, but the color is a little weird. The third I will be dropping in the donation bin the second the wedding is over!
I don't think you need to feel any guilt over donating or selling bm dresses... probably the bride will never know, and most likely she won't really care. I'd be a little disappointed if my girls want to get rid of their dresses afterwards, since I'm trying so hard to pick something rewearable (black & ivory tea length), but I won't be upset or hurt!
i won't expect my bms to keep their dresses. . .um i would hope they love the dresses enough, but a good bridesmaid never really complains about the dress unless it doesn't fit, theirs damage to it and they haven't worn it for the ceremony yet, they altered it incorrectly. . .i didn't keep my flower girl dress OR my bridesmaids dress. . .the flower girl dress was donated and my bridesmaids dress i returned (it wasn't altered, no stains/stentch, barely worn) because it was too see through and hoochie and the color and pattern was just awful. . .so i returned it for store credit.
I've been a bridesmaid a half a dozen times. One dress is still in my closet because it is beautiful and can be re-worn for black tie events. The other dresses were donated.
No bride has ever asked me what I did with the bridesmaid dress from their wedding and I haven't informed them I donated the dress.
I donated my bm dresses last year to a local women's shelter. They btw alter dresses for the women too and if they have a special occasion or family celebration I hope these dresses will make somebody smile!
Since you didn't pay for it, I say donation is a good idea. I don't see any reason to keep them around if you really don't have a use for it. But really - I think its a "don't ask, don't tell" sort of thing.
I've donated my really old ones to our local high school drama department-hoop skirts (from prom in the 80's...and a couple of weddings) to crinolines-dress styles change so much that they look outdated. The more current ones, I donated to an organization at our high school who outfits kids for prom who otherwise couldn't afford a dress to go.
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I have 2 bridesmaid dresses from weddings I have been in, but don't know what to do with them. I can't decide if I feel weird selling them (especially since I didn't pay for either of them) or if I should go ahead and make the room in my closets. One was purchased from a bridal salon, but the other was custom made in the colors of the wedding. I will never wear either of them again, but maybe some girl could get some use out of them for something?? What do you think? What did you do with your old BM dresses?