(Closed) 'Are you sure you're not pregnant, dear?' No mother, I'm just fat.

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Hostess
10891 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

ZebraPrintMe: Sorry you feel like this. A similar thing happened at work between two colleagues, very awkward.

Post # 3
Member
75 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I get it sometimes.  Never from someone I know though, always complete strangers asking me when I’m due. It’s terrible.  I’m so sorry she said that, especially your own mum. 

Post # 5
Member
42522 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

ZebraPrintMe:  How does any woman get to be a grown adult and not know that you  NEVER do or say that to any other woman? not even your daughter!!!

Post # 6
Hostess
10891 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

ZebraPrintMe: Ah bless her, typical Mum thing to say.

Post # 7
Member
1905 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

Pour yourself a glass of wine, honey. 

Ugh, I would kill my mother. 

Post # 8
Member
1706 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

This is one of those rules that everyone should know.  You NEVER ask that unless you know.  EVER.  I never say anything unless I’ve heard they’re pregnant already, I mean unless it’s someone who is as thin as a rail with an obvious 6 month bump lol.

Post # 9
Member
88 posts
Worker bee

She is your mom…wishful thinking I think

Post # 10
Member
273 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

That happened to me once, I was wearing a flowing dress just because I was pretty bloated that day… when the wind blew you could see the outline on my stomach which I guess looked a little bit pregnant compared to my normal tummy. I had 2 people that day ask me when I was due… and a few who were clearly glancing down at my stomach debating whether or not they should say something.

It was humiliating to say the least, nothing makes you feel fatter than being mistaken for being pregnant. But maybe it is just something when people see a woman wearing a dress with a little bit of a tummy at the same time?

Post # 11
Member
557 posts
Busy bee

I doubt she was making the comment to make you feel fat, she was probably just saying it because she wants a grandchild. If you like the way the dress looks you should wear it. She never said “daughter, YOU LOOK FAT, are you sure you aren’t pregnant”

Post # 12
Member
1236 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - San Francisco, CA

I’m a diva-size girl (18/20), and my mother once made me wear her ratty cigarette-smelling old lady cardigan because I was dressed “indecently for a girl of my size.” I was wearing a full-length maxi dress, at a BBQ, but apparently baring my arms was “offending the menfolk present.” Did I mention I was also 21 at the time? And she said it in front of guests? Humiliating.

 

Sounds like your mother is just spiteful and rude. Ignore it, and wear your dress – I’m sure you look gorgeous.

Post # 13
Member
397 posts
Helper bee

ZebraPrintMe:  Isn’t your mom the one who told you that you were “too big to wear a poofy dress”? (You are far from it, by the way.)

Sounds like your Mom is not very MOTHERLY when it comes to building up a daughter’s self esteem and body image, and I think she really needs to be put in her place at this point. I wouldnt even wait until the next opportunity… I’d just say “Ya know, Mom, it’s pretty hurtful/annoying/impolite/inappropriate/you-pick-what-goes-here when you direct unnecessary comments towards my body… Like you did on Easter and when trying on dresses, and I’d like for you to stop.”

 

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