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I am hyphenating...I have a really different/foreign last name and I am super attached to it...so I am keeping it and hyphenating. also...his sister and I share the same first name...so I didnt want to have the same exact name as she does. so it will all work out :)
I'm still undecided. Part of me doesn't want to let my name go, it's mine and my family's and it's perfectly good the way it is. And I am a professional, although def do not have an established client following or any worry like that, but I worked really hard to get those diplomas with MY name on them haha. Plus some girls I know say they regret changing their name, and actually so does my mother. But it seems really important to FH and he will feel bad if I don't change. We both have pretty long super Italian last names and hyphenating just feels like too much of a mouthful. Ughh stress!
I took my DH's last name. I don't really have a specific reasoning, I just always knew I'd do that. Maybe I just had this vision of traditional ways of doing it, but I never really even considered not changing my name. Lame answer, I know!
I am. I have no reason not to, and from all my experiences of having a different last name than my mom (she's remarried, and my brother and I weren't adopted) it can be really difficult for some things. Like having to show proof that you are in fact related when it came to things like doctor visits and insurance... Plus, I'm kind of traditional in that sense I guess.
I'll use my maiden name as my middle name and take my FI's last name.
@Ms.Teddy: That's a good idea. My mom took my dad's last name, but he also has a sister who shares her name. People are always confused as to who is being discussed! lol
I kept my name. It just seemed weird to me to all of a sudden have a new name. I've lived 30 years with this name. I still feel like a family. I just have my own name. And honestly, it's always seemed like kind of antiquated tradition. To me, it's just not a big deal to have different names. But then again, neither my mom nor my aunt changed their name so it's normal in my family to have a different last name from your mom.
I have dreamed of being his last name since we were 17. That being said, I have no problem with women who don't do it. Doesn't matter.
@Miss Tattoo:im the same way....dont care what you do...its really a personal decision/preference.
I didn't vote. I need an other.
I'm legally and socially taking his name; however at work I will continue to use my currant last name.
I had toyed with the idea of keeping mine (I actually changed my name already once before due to having an estranged father, and my current last name is pretty special to me cause it's from my mother's side), but when the name issue came up, FI made it clear that he was actually a little offended by the idea of me not taking his! So I guess that's out. lol. Back to middle name territory it goes!
I'm keeping mine - I always figured I would but when the issue came up, just thinking about changing it made me feel like I was going to simultaneously throw up and punch my fiance.
I have a lot of more well reasoned out reasons as well (from feminist/political reasons to it just being an awesome last name), but the visceral emotional reaction just cemented it.
I waited 40 years to be Mrs. Soandso, I wouldn't have it any other way. FH would have been really offended had I even suggested keeping my name, but I wanted it any way.
Yep, I am. I've never considered not taking his name. I'll probably get some crap for saying this but I kind of feel like you're more of a family when all parties have the same last name, especially after adding kids into the mix. With that said, I'm basing my opinion solely on the fact that I've never known someone to not take their husbands name. I'm sure its much more popular in other areas of the country but in mine, it just seems like everyone changes their name.
I dont personally have an issue with it when people don't change their name, its just a personal preference.
@Entangled: I totally feel this way, as well. With this name, I have lived my life, earned a degree, started a career... I could go on for days. I feel like my name plays such a big part in defining my identity that it feels weird to just delete that part of myself because I'm getting married. My fiance is totally cool with the fact that I want to keep my name, but I think it's so interesting how so many people can have so many different views.
A couple I know actually both hyphenate their names because they thought it seemed odd that the woman would have to change her name and the man wouldn't have to do so. Another interesting perspective!
That said, I think it's awesome for those of you who are taking your husband's name or hyphenating! I don't think there's really a "right" blanket answer for all; it's something each woman has to really sit and think about and decide what is right for her.
@SuperBrook: I will be doing the same thing. Do you work in research?
I am really attached to my last name, mostly because it is indicative of my heritage (even if it is long & hard to say). I also use my last name for any/all photography & paintings I have done up unitl now, so considering that I would like to keep it.
Hyphenating would be silly, and extremely long to say. That and my partners last name sounds cacophanous following mine, so I do not really like it.
Though he would like me to take his name. So I am undecided as of yet.
Other- We are making a new name. Taking half of mine, half of his and creating a new one.
Absolutely! I know who I am and where I came from. It has made me the woman I am today. Now that i'm married, it's like I get to start from scratch and create new accomplishments. I can't even imagine the poor kids who have hyphenated names. Do they just add another name to their hyphenated name when they get married?! I feel honored to take a new name. I don't judge people who decide not to take it though. Everyone is different and has different sentimental issues!
Absolutely. My last name is 12 letters long, and frankly, I'm tired of it. It's a pain to write, it's a pain to spell, and I don't feel like it ties me to any sort of my past. I come from a long line of female-heavy family, and I think it's neat that none of us have the same name (though my aunt technically has 2 last names and goes by the maiden name professionally). I'm very excited to switch over to my new, 5 letter last name, and waive adios to my current one.
I think the name change definitely depends on who you are. It's not something that affects anyone else, so what should anyone but the couple be concerned with it?
@Lindsay05: I am hyphenating but our kids will have his last name only and my last as their middle. So they will not have hyphenated names.
Kept my name, and felt very strongly about doing so. If he wasn’t going to change his name, I wasn’t going to either.
@soonerpsych: Not a lame answer, because my answer is the exact same! Regardless of who I married or what their last name was (unless it was something offensive maybe) I never even considered not changing my name!
I am taking his last name. It's important to me to have the same last name as our children.
I think that I'm going to drop my middle name and make my last my middle: MyFirst MyLast HisLast
I will be taking his name. My middle name is my mother's maiden name, so we will be doing the same with our children. Although I would love our future's daughter's first name to be my maiden name. it is such a beautiful name!
I'm taking his last name, because I want to be joined as a family (with our future children) by our last name.
I plan on taking his last name, mainly because I hate MY last name. I can't wait to have a name people can pronounce!
I wasn't going to at first, because I love my Italian heritage and last name. Also, in Italy, women don't take the husbands' last name, but the children do. I struggled a long time with this.
HOWEVER, when I expressed this, he was upset...so I am making my maiden name my middle name and his last name my last name. If it makes him happy, I can't say no!
Guess I'm one of the few who's fella doesn't want me to take his name! hehe
He had a reeeally bad relationship with his dad and grew up not knowing any of his family on that side. He's always wanted to change his name for those reasons and is thinking of taking mine. :)
I never considered NOT taking it. Totally personal choice though, and I deff understand why many women keep their last names or hypenate. For me, I like that we will have the same last name... Like we're really starting our own family.
It helps that I HATE my last name, the way it's spelled, the way it sounds... and I LOVE my FI's last name. :) It goes much better with my first name too.
I am still torn on this issue. I didn't take his name when we got married, for a lot of reasons but basically because I just didn't want to. But I don't like that if we have kids, they and DH will all have the same last name, and I'll be the odd one out. I guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.
Umm... my (maiden) last name is hyphenated. It's my dad's name and my grandfather's name and my great grandfather and great-great grandfather's name! It's been hyphenated that long, there are lots of us, and we're not "poor kids" - sorry! Not to speak for all of my extended family, but we're all capable individuals who have been figuring it out our own way when we get married... for over a hundred years... and no one has ever complained.
Anyway, I'd never change my name. It doesn't make any sense for me professionally, and it weirds me and SO out politically. My mom didn't change her last name when she married my dad, so frankly all those arguments about "OMG the family has to all have the same name!" have never really rang true for me.
@Beluga: I love that! I have two last names (maiden) that go like FirstName LastName LastName - and people ask me all the time if my second last name is my married name... last thing I need now is another name!
My first last name is an old family name that everyone on my mom's side has - her father, brother, my cousins, etc. I love that about my name.
& besides, I love my name just how it is :)
My name is currently hyphenated (mom and dad's last names) and it is constantly misspelled and mispronounced. Today when we went to pick up our car, they had trouble finding my last name in the system. I told SO that we need to get married already so I only need to go by one last name.
i kept my italian maiden name because hes name (despite being greek) isnt ethnic enough for me - not enough z's and a's and r's
lame i know but im not going to take a step back for a boring name... plus im too old to learn how to sign a new name :)
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Include your reasoning, too! I think this is really interesting.