Post # 1
I feel really strongly about keeping my maiden name, always have always will. But unfortunately, my FI feels really strongly that I should take his name. In both our eyes, it is not up for negotiation. My argument is that our son already has his name so I’m fine with that, but I want to keep my own. He thinks that makes him look like less of a man. We are both very stubborn so it was left at “then i guess we’ll never get married.
Just curious – any other bees out there that kept their maiden name and why?
What should i do?
Post # 3
- Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall
I don’t think your poll covers all the options, I’m taking his name but don’t really want to.
Post # 4
You could just hypenate it. So you still have your old name that you share with your son but then take your husband’s name as well.
Post # 5
I’m taking his name, not because its necessarily the right thing to do, but because I want to. He doesn’t mind if I prefer to keep my own name, though.
Post # 6
Your poll is very limited. I didn’t vote because my answer is I am taking his name because I want to! I’m very traditional and couldn’t be any more excited to start a new life under a new name. I’ll still be the same person though!
Post # 7
@mchitt329: thanks i did it wrong, i just updated it
Post # 8
My option isn’t up here. I did both- I hyphanated. It was important for me to keep mine and he wanted me to take his. We both agreed that hyphanating was a good compramise.
Post # 9
I plan on having my maiden name and his last name as my last name. No hyphen though. I would prefer not to change it all, but it’s important to him. We’re going to have more discussions about it in the future, but that’s what we decided on for now.
Post # 10
To the great surprise of both my mom and my FI — I am taking his name. Totally because I want to, the tradition of it doesn’t realy matter to me.
Post # 11
You could ask him to take your name and see what he says. You could exchange your names too. You take his, he takes yours and you hyphenate them both.
Post # 12
@auggiefrog: did he hyphenate too, or just you?
Post # 13
I took his last name because I wanted to!
Post # 14
You need more poll options 🙂
We married almost a month ago and I’m still undecided on the name. I’ve decided to do nothing until at least January, after our honeymoon, as all our hotel and flight stuff is already booked in my current (maiden) name.
DH has no preference on my decision since I am the one who will have to answer to that name, not him. He is already hyphenated, as his parents took each other’s names when they married. So I can’t just add another hyphen.
Seeing all the hassles he gets with his hypenated name, I’m in no hurry to bring that on myself. Booking airline tickets is a constant adventure as some airlines have computers that accept the hyphen and some don’t, and we put a high value on airline miles, so it’s crucial that those names match for us to get credit, especially when we fly our “secondary” airline and credit to our “primary” airline. Hotels are a hassle for the same reason. Everything is a hassle with the hyphen.
But on the other hand, my mother, in her infinite wisdom (bless her heart) gave all her daughters the same first name. Whilst it’s fine for us to go by our middle names professionally and socially, we have a real mess when it comes to credit reports. Every year we sit down together and sort the credit reports out. And every year, I’ll end up with someone else’s mortgage on my credit, or they will end up with my credit card, etc. Total pain in the butt. I am now getting my sister’s alumni newsletter, hooray. So it would be nice to dump that first name, finally.
We shall see!
Post # 15
I’m still not 100% sure about this, but I will probably take his name. I’d like us to share a surname, and mine is very unusual – people can never spell it! I’ve not asked him whether he’d be open to taking my name, but I’ll talk to him about it when the right time comes. If I take his name, it will be because I’ve chosen to, not because it’s what’s expected of us.
ETA: I’m definitely not on board with hyphenating. It’s either one or the other.
Post # 16
@Sugarbee711: just me. Our kids will have just his last name too. I’m fine with that.