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Are you telling your family or friends that you're TTC? or if you haven't started yet do you plan to tell your friends and family you're TTC?
I ask this question because a little over 2 years ago my SIL told everyone they were TTC she dyed her hair back to her natural color, gave up drinking alcohol, starting eating healthy, etc. She basically told everyone and re-arranged her whole life. Well here we are over 2 years later and still no baby. It's so hard for her because people constantly ask them what happened, is something wrong, why can't they get pregnant, etc. She's also become so sensitive to it and people are always cautious around her and never want to talk about babies or other women getting pregnant.
I do not want to go through that so we decided we're ready to TTC we're going to keep it a secret from pretty much everybody (I might tell my sister) but then if you do that everyone thinks your baby was a "surprise" or unplanned.
What do you bees think?
Its such a personal choice. We didn't tell a soul, except my ob-gyn. We didn't want the pressure of people asking because sometimes its does take awhile, and we didn't want other people knowing to add to the stress of TTC, which we wanted to be more fun than "work". Personally, I could care less if people think it is a surprise or unplanned.
Yeah, definitely not going to tell anyone (except maybe VERY close family members). I'm too afraid of jinxing it. ...plus don't want people all up in my business if it winds up being difficult for us to conceive.
We didn't tell anyone when we started trying. That makes me a little squeamish, for some reason. I know it's not the equivalent of telling people, "Hey, we're going to have sex tonight," but that's what it sounds like in my mind. 
Lol, maybe I'm just a prude.
@MrsSpring: I agree with you. I will not be telling anyone, because in my opinion, it's so awkward when someone says, "well, we're trying to get pregnant!" Ew, thanks for the mental image haha
I deleted a girl from my facebook friends because her statuses were constant updates on her quest to get pregnant.
@ hotchildinthecity - It's good to know there's more of us out there. :) I was uncomfortable enough telling my dad that I was pregnant... He replied, "Good job, Mr. Spring!" Awkward!
for me it will be hard because i have to go off my meds. i get really bad migraines and i'm on lots of meds for them, and i get botox. after the wedding i'll be getting off of them so we can ttc... and i'm expecting the migraines to get worse, and my parents will ask question, like "why don't you go to the doctor and get different meds, when's the last time you had botox, isn't it time for more botox", etc. i'm not happy lying to them, and i don't know what we'll end up saying. we've already discussed that we don't want that added pressure of everyone knowing, so we'll keep it to ourselves for as long as possible, but eventually i have a feeling i'll have to tell everyone why all of a sudden i have a migraine every day.
@Mrs. Spring - my dad did the same thing!! He was like " good job!" It was so bizarre that my dad was basically telling my husband congrats on having sex with me and knocking me up :)
We're not TTC, but even if we were I wouldn't tell anyone. My desire to avoid talking about it if things didn't go as planned would outweigh my excitement in sharing the plans. As Nat2413's sister discovered, once you've opened the door to talking about it, you can't really shut it again. So I would wait to open it until we were really sure (like the pregnancy was far enough along).
We have actually told all of our close friends (there are about 10 of us who are really close and hang out all the time). We already know that I am going to have a hard time getting pregnant and it will be nice to have the support of our friends. I consider my friends part of my family and I know I can go to them when I need support. I also know that they will not put any pressure on my or DH and they will not constantly ask if we are pregnant yet. It is really nice having friends that understand my situation.
We are the first couple in our group to get married (there are a couple others that are close though!) and I think all of our friends are looking forward to seeing us take the next step and have kids.
My mom has commented to me that they "tried' to have me and it took awhile and they 'tried" as soon as they could to have my brother as close in age to me as possible (we're 18 months apart)
Mental image? No thanks. I don't want to impose that on other poeple.
Next thing you know Mom'll be suggested I prop my legs up afterwards to help out the sperm and other TMI ideas. And if we do have trouble, I don't want everyone knowing and/or judging if i get my hair done or making suggestions on changing my life (mom is already telling me i won't be allowed to work out. Um..not true)
It'll be weird though. Everybody asks everybody's business in our families and amongst friends. DH's friend and his wife talk about it and DH doesn't think it'd be weird to talk to his buddy about it so they can time our kids being close together in age. Yew.
Ew is kinda what comes to mind, though!!! But then after the baby shower this weekend, all my friends were talking about when they'd like to TTC. So maybe I just have an ick factor.
We have basically told both sets of parents that we will be TTC soon after the honeymoon.
As far as siblings I don't think we will come right out and say it unless asked. Because how do you bring something like that up??? Hehe. But if asked we're not going ot deny it.
As far as other family members it's not really their business.
I think we would both want to tell our parents and siblings, but that's it. Extended family and friends would not be in on it, just in case something happened, which unfortunately is likely with me because I already know that TTC will be very difficult for me (which is also why I feel like we'd have to tell immediate family).
Other than my OBGYN, I'm not comfortable telling anyone. It's my business and even our parents don't need to know.
I don't plan on telling anyone except R. For some reason I've always had the inkling that I'll have a hard time conceiving, and I'd rather not be asked about it all the time.
When we do start trying we aren't telling anyone because if we do and run into troubles, we don't really want to tell everyone about the troubles we are having. Although, I probably will come tell everyone here! :)
Not anywhere near this stage in our lives, but we've already agreed that we won't be telling anyone! I feel like it's a little awkward to tell people that, and I'd rather it be a surprise!
I would want to wait. I might tell the hive if i'm still around but i know my mom would be asking me like every week if i told her. She already asks a lot and we arent ready yet (which she knows). I hope my husband doesnt tell people... I would normally say he would probably only tell his best guy friend, but for awhile i wasnt getting my period because i stopped bc. I feel thats totally just our business but he mentioned it to some girl who mentioned it to my brother who was then asking me if i was pregnant... Awkward!! So i warned hubby that he cant say stuff like that anymore. I told him even when the trime comes i dont want him to. Told him he can tell his family, but let me handle it with mine
I told my friend that DH and I were trying in mid-March. Her response: "Um, okay, I won't call you that week."
I think that may have been TMI for her! I won't be so detailed next time!
I think everyone has their own personal opinion. We actually just started TTC, and let people know we weren't being obsessed with actively trying, but that we were going to let it happen when it happens.
I don't think it's bad if you tell someone and then it takes longer than you planned, everyone's different and alot of people don't get success the first try
I don't plan on TRYING, persay. I plan to stop NOT trying...so just stop taking BC pills and see what happens. I don't think it will seem unplanned or unexpected to people when we tell them - I think they might be surprised, but it should be a good surprise! =)
Definitely NOT telling anyone. I understand people telling close family and girlfriends, but frankly, I feel like it's no one else's business (Facebook- really???). I don't need people to have that mental image in their heads. Also- my FH's family is a bit on the TMI side and I hear the comments people make about his one cousin who has had trouble getting pregnant. "You know, she was on Accutane a few years ago, that's probably why..." like they have any idea what they are talking about. That's all I need (and I was on Accutane and I sure as heck won't be mentioning that to anyone).
I didn't tell anyone when we were TTC my daughter. Didn't want people asking about it month after month if it didn't happen.
My original plan was to not tell anyone... but then I read a piece of advice in a magazine that made a lot of sense to me. Men and women are very different. Sometimes it's good to have a 'girlfriend' outlet for conversation. My husband is not the type that wants to sit around and talk about babies. Yes he's excited - but not something he wants to 'gab' about. Me on the other hand - very excited - and lots to say. I want to talk about babies and trying ALL THE TIME :) OK not all the time - but I enjoy baby talk. I told my best girlfriend so I would have someone other than just hubby when I needed to talk about things baby. Of course I Ok'd this with hubby prior and he was all for it. It was nice especially when I was getting frustrated with my body's lack of acting normal to have a girlfriend to chat with (as well as hubby - we did still talk about it!).
Now when we did find out we were pregnant and wanted it to be a secret it was REALLY REALLY hard not to tell this friend :) She thoughtfully asked a couple times if I was having luck 'ovulating' normal for that cycle and I had to flat out lie to her! :) I did tell her shortly after I told my mom (about 7 weeks) - I just couldn't lie any longer! Most people didn't find out until 12 weeks!
I will say because I was SO SICK from week 6-14 it was nice to have her know even then. Just having someone ask 'how's your day going' or 'how are you feeling' is really nice when you feel like shit! Especially when you are getting sympathy from no one else!
we told some people, but none of them would ask, I don't think...I can see how after 2 years they would (even though they SHOULDN'T!), but maybe you can tell them..we're TTC, and we'll update you when we have any news, so please don't ask ;)
Our families know that we want to get pregnant, like yesterday, but only his sister and my best friend (who is also SILs best friend) know that we're going full bore with the ovulation tests and all of that fun stuff. My group of girlfriends that I go to Happy Hour with once a week also figured it out, but I just play dumb when they say anything.
Definitely not...I like the idea of sharing that special time with DH privately. Also, I don't want people asking question. If we have trouble TTC, I would probably talk to my mom and sister about it, but only if it became an issue.
@mrs.spring-That comment would be a little awkward!
At our baby shower for my second, FI stood up and introduced himself to the group. He said "Hi I'm Jason, and I guess I'm the reason we're all here." I was so embarrassed. My Grandma and aunts were there. TMI, TMI!
My plan is to not say anything, but I know I will have a really hard time with that since I wear my heart on my sleeve and like to talk a lot!
I love this thread! I am sitting her giggling to myself. I guess I never thought of people announcing that they were TTC. It just seems like something personal that you would not want the whole world to know. I wouldn't tell anyone. Then once I was pregnant I would tell my mom and that is it until the 12 week mark.
We haven't discussed it but I'm inclined to tell my mom and sisters. NOT his mom though. My mom wouldn't pester us about it but there's no way his mom could restrain herself. Other than that, we'll probably wait to tell anyone until 7-12 weeks along. It would probably be different if it seemed likely that we'd have difficulties. While there's no way of knowing, of course, genetics and family history suggest we should have to try too hard.
hmm...I don't know about all those on here that are at the engaged stage, but how do you keep people from asking about when you're thinking of getting pregnant? The next question out of everyone's mouth (after "when's the date?") is "so are you guys going to have kids right away?" 
I agree with most PPs, I won't be announcing it at group or family functions, but if people ask about us having kids, I figure they've asked for the "ick" factor. So when ppl ask the "kids" question, I just answer "Yes, probably going to start trying on the honeymoon," and wink...I mean, what else are they thinking we're doing on the honeymoon, eh? (Sorry if that created ick factor for anyone else...truly not intended)
Wait...what is TTC? I'm trying really hard to remember and can't. I don't plan on telling anyone until we are actually indeed pregnant.
@HisBarista - TTC = "trying to conceive" And we thought the wedding world had all kinds of shorthand nicknames? I'm thinking the "TTC world" has even more!
@ms. pascua - I just say, "I have a lonnng time before I plan on getting pregnant!" and people tend to laugh or smile. Humor usually diffuses the situation best for me. Once we get married, I think I'll keep up the same answer for awhile, just because we want to wait until our late 20's.
Wow, I really feel like I am in the minority here!
I guess my relationship with my friends is really different than other peoples. My friends know that my husband and I have sex and I know they have sex. When I go out with my girlfriends we tend to have very open conversations about sex. Its not like we talk about it all the time, but if one of us is having issues in the bedroom or just has questions about something we talk about it.
But with that being said I definitely do not talk about sex with anyone in my family. My mom and I are really close but not that close! She does know that we are going to start trying this year but thats it. She doesn't need details. =)
For me it is just nice to know that I have friends I can go to when I need some extra support.
@sweetkate - you know what's funny, I have that kind of relationship with my best girlfriend - I don't think it's the sex that would freak her out at all, it'd be the possibility of a baby. She's definitely not a kid person at this point in her life.
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