Post # 1
Just curious whether or not any Bees self-identify as being the dominant one in their relationship. I’m not trying to start a gender roles debate or hear the “oh, we are perfectly balanced in every way” comments. Usually someone is more dominant in a relationship or else there is a lot of head-butting! I am also interested in whether Bees are dominant in day to day life, but not in sexual life (or vice versa). Relationship dynamics fascinate me.
As a disclaimer, by dominant, I do not mean controlling, abusive, etc.
What are your thoughts?
Post # 3
I’d say I’m dominant in day to day life, but he’s way more dominant in the bedroom. It’s what works for us.
Post # 4
I’m more chatty than he is, but once we’re both comfortable he’s definitely more of an attention whore, lol. I would say we’re both dominant. I don’t back down from anyone and neither does he. One time we got into it and OH MAN, it was horrible! We’re both bull-headed.
In the bedroom, I prefer him to be dominant. I get a kick out of him asserting himself.
Post # 5
I voted that were both dominant in our relationship.
Post # 6
He is more dominant, both in and out of the bedroom, and that’s just how I like it! I was with a submissive man before and it didn’t work for me. I like having control when I want to, but I also really like having someone to lean on and let make the decisions when I won’t/can’t.
Post # 7
- Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall
I’m dominant on a day to day basis, DH usually defers to me — not sure if it’s because he doesn’t care or because he knows I’ll win any argument 🙂
As for the bedroom, I don’t think either of us is more dominant. I initiate 99% of the time, but I consider that and dominance a different thing.
Post # 8
I’m definitely the dominant one. I take control of the situation and am much more composed under pressure. I am also the more outgoing of the two of us. My FI is very laid back and on the reserved side, but when a crisis arises he is useless! Haha. Okay, not really, but he panics and stresses a lot more than I do.
In the bedroom though he is more dominant.
Post # 9
We think there are three types of people – people who like to lead/control, people who like to follow/take direction, and people who just freaking want to do their own thing with the optional free cooperation of anyone else who’s interested in that thing.
We are both the third type.
Post # 10
Both DH and I are dominant, eldest child etc. but we don’t butt heads as often as we did when we first moved in together. there are just some things that aren’t worth fighting about. If one cares about something more than the other, then the one that doesn’t care as much gives in, but that doesn’t mean that the one who gave in is submissive.
Post # 11
I wouldn’t describe either of us as dominant, but we’re certainly not submissive or passive either. We’re a good mix. I’d describe us as an equal partnership, with mutual love and respect for each other’s feelings and opinions, in and out of the bedroom.
So, I voted mandatory other. 🙂
Edit: Haha, sorry for the “Oh, we’re so perfectly balanced” comment. :/ Guess I could always lie…
Post # 12
@BoxerLady: I would say I’m probably the more dominant one in our relationship. What do you mean by dominant in day to day life? How do I interact with others? I don’t feel like I always have to be in control of the situation with other people. I’m willing to share and compromise. At the same time, I’m not going to tolerate being walked all over either.
Sexually, usually whoever has the most energy is the dominant one. That tends to vary.
Post # 13
We’re both dominant for the most part but we can also be really indecisive. If we really care about something, we are really opinionated about it but if we don’t it takes forever to make a decision!
Post # 14
To quote to ever-so-eloquent Lil Wayne: “I run this shit.”
He knows it, I know it, everyone knows it. *Now*, I don’t treat him liked he’s whipped in front of others because I wouldnt want to make him feel “emasculated.” In fact, when we’re with friends and something to that effect comes up, he’ll usually say “I just LET her think she’s in charge” *eye roll* Everyone knows the truth, pal.
Post # 15
I am, by far. I’m the one who’s picky and opinionated/Type A. He’s very laid back and not picky at all.
Post # 16
We’re both pretty submissive, which gets annoying at times when it comes to making decisions. We normally go back & forth over the smallest things, lol.